Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: Texas, England

Saturday, 14 January 2006

image for UT Longhorns to play New England Patriots in Super Bowl XL
"Oh no, not the Longhorns"

The Patriots are going "You've got to be kidding" while the University of Texas Longhorns are yelling "Bring it on bugle boys!". If the NFL Commissioner approves the deal, this year's Super Bowl will be the first in history to pit a major NFL squad against a College football team. The Horns, National Champs and winner of the coveted Rose Bowl FTD spring bouquet are currently riding a victorious wave of unbridled euphoric sports ecstasy not seen since Mike Tyson bit Evander Hollyfield's right ear off in 1994.
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"I'm pumped" U.T. Quarterback Vince Young told reporters. Young, winner of every major sports award known to man (except the Heisman Trophy) said,

"I believe we can take them. I know Brady's got a throwing arm on him but we are invisible"

the reporters replying "invisible?" with Young saying,

"INVINCIBLE. That's the word. Invincible. We could play God and all the angels in heaven and walk away with the Super Bowl rings."

New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady had a different take on the matter saying,

"I don't understand. They're good but they're a COLLEGE team. We don't want to kill them or anything but if they show up on the field that is exactly what will happen to them. I hope homicide charges are not filed against us."

So began AND continues the superfluous war of words, jabs, innuendos and taunts as Super Bowl XL, already hyped beyond hype-ability by ABC promises to become the greatest spectacle since Charlton Heston fought 12 lions in the Roman gladiator coliseum back in 27 AD.

U.T. Head Coach Mack Brown, himself riding a wave of his own, illegal in 42 states, told reporters,

"USC was tough. Tougher than perhaps the Patriots even so I do think that we can pull this one off. Hopefully Tom Brady will call in sick that day with the stomach flu or something otherwise we've got quite a battle ahead."

President Bush, his ranch itself only a few miles away from the University of Texas, his twins themselves being U.T. graduates told reporters,

"I love the Patriots God Bless em but God bless our fighting Texas Longhorns. In fact, if the Horns should win I might just shut down the whole nation for a day or two .. in honor of Vince and his fighting cattle."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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