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Wednesday, 28 September 2011

image for Carlos Teves to star in pantomime
Carlos Tevez's loyal fans rally to show their support at the Etihad

Embittered Manchester City star Carlos Tevez will today launch his new career on the West End stage.

In a radical departure from his current role as a forward for the Manchester side, now second in the Premiership, he has agreed to play Lady Bracknell in Oscar Wilde's satirical play The Importance of Being Earnest at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.

This decision follows on from his dropping from the City starting line-up for Saturday's match against Blackburn and his highly successful portrayal as a single mother struggling to cope with her Sun Bingo addiction in the Channel Four drama "Diary Of A Selfish Bingo Whore", and his BAFTA nominated interpretation of Roland Rat questioning the manhood of a Port Issac fisherman in Alan Bleasdale's famous monologue: "Yeeh, You Great Fish-shafting Nancy, yeeh!".

If successful, Tevez will also play Maria von Trapp in the Chichester Theatre Group's production of the The Sound of Music at the Mayflower in Southampton, and has also agreed to play Orville for Keith Harris in the pantomime 'Willy Wonka And the Fisftul of Chocolate Factory' at the Winter Gardens in Bournemouth.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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