Written by Rebel Not Taken
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Wednesday, 28 September 2011

image for Carlos Tevez blames Coronation Street for everything
Tevez on the sofa against Bayern Munich.

Carlos Tevez has blamed Coronation Street for his refusal to get off the bench against Bayern Munich.

The Argentinian has told Roberto Mancini that he feels "bored and depressed" and has complained that his bum looks big.

"I have turned into a whining fat git, like all Manchester people" ranted Tevez.

The footballer admitted he had become unfit after spending years sitting on his arse watching Kevin and Tyrone supping pints in The Rover's Return.

The Manchester City striker also told Mancini that Ken Barlow is "a stupid twat" and Norris "an old nonce".

Tevez then went on to tell reporters that he wouldn't feed the bacon sarnies in Roy's Rolls to his dogs and slagged off the women in Coronation Street.

"Rosie Webster is decent but the machinists in Underworld are all minging slappers " said an angry Tevez.

The Argie's latest statement that "Hayley Cropper is even uglier than Gary Neville" is further evidence that the deluded footballer has completely lost touch with reality.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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