BILLINGSGATE POST: 'L Word' actress Leisha Haley and fashion designer Nina Garduno joined the Mile High Club yesterday by scoring a hat trick while playing tonsil hockey at an altitude estimated at 30,000 feet while flying on a Southwest Airlines jet.
Spectators who attended this match were less than thrilled with the soft defense played by Garduno, who attempted to thwart the split tongue attack conceived by Haley to penetrate the Garduno lip-lock defensive perimeter.
Already having been sent to the penalty box for high-sticking her tongue into Garduno's epiglottis, Haley renewed her attack on the seemingly defenseless Garduno tonsils.
With dispassionate efficiency, mindless of the young boy sitting next to them screaming, "GOOAAL!" each time Haley's tongue sent Garduno's tonsils into spasmodic ecstasy, they continued their game. As professionals at this sport, they would ice the puck ever few minutes in order to catch their breath.
As the game got more intense, fearing the crowd was losing control, a veteran referee stepped between them with orders to withdraw their respective tongues. With the spectators hooting at them, they were escorted off the plane for contesting the decision.
"This is an outrage," said Haley.
"I demand a public apology by Southwest Air and a refund. Hate is not a family value. I will never play tonsil hockey on this airline again."