Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Sunday, 25 September 2011

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Athletes will be required to attend religious services daily in the Olympics

As part of the London 2012 Olympics "Respect for religion" campaign, no sporting events will take place on any religious holy days. All Sundays will be left empty to appease the Christians, and Fridays and Saturday too because of the Jews and Muslims.

Nordic theologians have asked for Thursday (Thor's day) to be respected, and it is likely that Wednesdays will be added after complaints from Orthodox Christians.

Satanists and other groups are demanding their own days, so it is therefore possible that the London Olympics will have to be crammed into the 52 Monday afternoons of the year.

As Olympics organiser Judas Hepburn said, "The most important thing about the Olympics is that we respect religious traditions, whether that's allowing high-jumpers to wear the burka, or forcing all athletes to attend religion awareness classes. If it takes us all year to finish the Olympics, it will just improve what is going to be the best and most politically correct Olympics ever!"

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