Written by Big Stu
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Friday, 23 September 2011

image for Harry Redknapp to be nationalised
Bagpuss asks the questions that matter: What the Hell am I doing in this story?

Following the unsuccessful bid by the club to buy the Oympic Stadium, Tottenham Hotspur have announced today that manager Harry Redknapp will be floated on the stock market in a move that is expected to lead to changes in the contracts of several other Premiership managers in the coming weeks.

As a result of this move, Manchester City have suspended contract negotiations with Roberto Mancini and have instead opted to privative their manager or, as has been suggested by Alex Ferguson, have him demolished to make way for some luxury apartments, a billiard hall and a second-hand furniture emporium.

Norwich have already revealed plans for Delia Smith to become a new branch of Oddbins, and Arsenal are also expected to follow with a similar scheme that will lead to boss Arsene "SeaLife" Wenger converted into an excellent range of illuminated aquariums.

It is not known how much this will make for the clubs but, as an FA spokesperson said: "At least it will give the fans value for money."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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