Written by mikewadestr
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Tuesday, 20 September 2011

image for Pissed Off Major League Baseball Umpire Ejects Both Teams and Entire Stadium

Major League Baseball (MLB) Umpire, Stanley Chuck-em, made baseball history last night when he managed to eject both teams playing as well as the entire stadium. All of this was done in the first inning of the game between the St. Louis Cardinals and Philadelphia Phillies, just after the first pitch.

An annoyed home plate umpire, Chuck-em, who was upset he would miss the show America's Got Talent, took out his anger on everyone involved in the game by proceeding to find reasons to eject them.

On the first pitch of the game, Chuck-em caused controversy by calling the pitch, both a ball and a strike!

Both, starting Phillies' pitcher Roy Halliday and Cardinals' leadoff hitter Rafael Furcal began to question the umpire's decision. Chuck-em immediately threw both players out of the game for arguing balls and strikes.

Not surprisingly, both managers came waddling out to home plate to ask Chuck-em to explain his decision. Chuck-em told them that, while starting Phillies' pitcher, Roy Halliday, did throw a pitch low and outside of the strike zone, which he called a ball, Cardinals' leadoff hitter Rafael Frucal refused to swing at it, which in Chuck-em's mind, was really kind of whimpy which is why he, also, called the pitch a strike.

As both managers began to argue the ludicrous nature of the call, Chuck-em immediately threw both of them out for kicking up too much dust.

As the fans sat in stunned silence, Chuck-em turned to them and started pointing out those who had hotdogs with no mustard on them and ejected them from the stadium. Chuck-em then ejected all of the hot dog vendors for not having enough mustard as well as all the rest of the stadium's vendors screaming: "If there aren't any hot dogs to sell, then why sell anything".

When the crowd began booing Chuck-em's, decisions, Chuck-em ejected them for making too much noise and giving him a headache.

He then pointed to both benches and ejected both teams for having all their bats stuck in all those little cubby holes.

When the other three umpires went to intervene by pointing out in their MLB rule books that Chuck-em could not call a pitch both a ball and a strike, Chuck-em threw them all out for being overweight.

Stanley Chuck-em did get to see the finals of American Idol last night. Stanley Chuck-em also, got to see a Fed Ex pink slip from Major League Baseball this very morning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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