Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 8 March 2017
Owl Surge Threatens Vatican
A missing Wet Plate Collodion photograph of Lulu playing leapfrog with Arthur Askey and Mao Tse-tung on Saltcoats Pier has been discovered in the glovebox of Florence Nightingale's Ford Anglia.
Heston Blumenthal Rogered Me On Air Claims Suffolk Hospital DJ
A wax crayon etching of Lord Boothby strangling Margaret Thatcher while Lulu and Sammy Davis Junior play leapfrog on Saltcoats Pier has been stolen from the pannier of Frank Bruno's Penny Farthing.
Baby Elephant Stuck in Croyden Bathtub
Among the books left behind by late travel-writer Sidney Yardbrushe are Travels With The Bumbolompa Umbrella-People, Six Months In Lederhosen and How To Avoid Hartlepool.
Ali Baba "Based on Jeffrey Archer", Claims Otley Ned Sherrin Lookalike
A sepia photograph of Sir Francis Drake playing leapfrog with Rasputin and Lulu on Saltcoats Pier has been damaged by melted Wensleydale cheese.
Cliff Richard Sat On My Face, Claims Leamington Spa Lollipop Man
A daguerrotype of Admiral Nelson smoking a meerschaum pipe while Lord Baden Powell plays leapfrog with Lulu on Saltcoats pier has been stolen from the boot of Clive of India's Ford Zephyr 6.
Ted Ray Resurrected in Black Magic Ritual
Charles "Turnip" Townshend is a big Muddy Waters fan: "I got a lot of the inspiration for my Norfolk Four Course crop rotation system from listening to his Down on Stovall's Plantation album".
Eddie Waring "Bludgeoned a Coypu To Death" After Row With Stuart Hall
Richard III Gets a Job Writing Adverts for Go Outdoors
Now Is The Winter Sale of Our Discount Tents
No sex in the UAE unless you are married!
UAE Sheikhs have forbidden sex among foreign, unmarried partners, if caught, you'll end up in prison! The Sheikhs however, have Harems in their palaces and marriage is the last thing on their minds!
"We are getting along great," says Trump of WH
"Anyone who says differently is fired."
(quote from unnamed source)
Al Franken's Exponential Pinocchios
AL Franken claiming that Jeff Sessions perjured himself is as valid as Al Franken claiming to be elected in a fraud-free election,or claiming to have any erection at all.