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Trump Quiet for Sixteen Hours Straight

News media around the U.S. shut down for inactivity.

written by Al N., 05 March 2017
Rating:

Self-driving cars "too expensive," critic says

Auto mechanic Ben Fixt says, at their anticipated price of $300,000 each, self-driving cars will be too expensive for him. "I'd rather walk," he said.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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California home to most homeless

Due to its liberal politics and socialistic economy, The Golden State has more homeless and more rich people than any other state in America.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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Bimbo Bread changes name

After being charged with sexism, Bimbo Bread is changing its name. Henceforth, it will be known as Virgin Slices.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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Costco to cost more

Costco announced it's raising membership fees so it can continue to give shoppers low prices.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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Pelosi vows to resist repeal of Obummercare

Senate Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi says she's not about to sit idly by while Obummercare is repealed. "I need the insurance to pay for my plastic surgery and Botox!"

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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Lewinsky featured on new "adult" product

Monica Lewinsky's licensed likeness will appear on knee pads sold in adult bookstores and porno theater gift shops. Her face appears on each pad, above the caption, "At your service, Mr. President!"

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
Rating:

Lindsey Graham confesses his love for John McCain

Senator Lindsey Graham said he's always loved his "good friend," Senator John McCain and, now that gay marriage is legal, Graham would marry him "in a heartbeat" if McCain proposed.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
Rating:

Pelosi says chat worse than semen

Senate Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi told Congress Clinton only "spilled his seed" on Monica Lewinsky; "Sessions spoke to Putin. Bill was impeached; Jeff should be, too. Talking to Putin is far worse!"

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
Rating:

Lewinsky wears red and black, but not blue

With Monica the Mouth due to debut on TV, Monica Lewinsky twice appeared at Vanity Fair's Oscar party, wearing first black, then red. She won't wear blue, the color President Clinton ejaculated on.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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