Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 11 April 2017
New United Airlines Slogans
"If seating is tight, there's gonna be a fight!" "Not enough seating, get ready for a beating!" "If you resist, you'll meet a fist!" "Don't comply, get a black eye!"
Excuses, excuses, excuses, Arsene's excuses to be published!
Arsene Wenger is to publish a book about all of his perennial loser, historical excuses! The Crystal Palace slaughterhouse proved last night how right he is; always blame the others, never yourself!
Hillary ratings set new record
According to a recent Razmuzzen Poll, Hillary Clinton's popularity rating has plunged to a record low of -1,000 percent, which is "lower than whale shit."
Bill Cosby Children's Books Found to Be Among Most Banned
The book they like least is the one where Li'l Bill spikes all the girls' Kool-Aid with Spanish Fly.