There were 467 spoof news snippets published in 2017. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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Forgotten Keys

47 years ago, at 7:45 a.m., Ed Terwilliger stopped on his way to his car, thinking he'd forgotten his keys. He felt his front pocket--reassured he had them--and left for work in his neighbor's car.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 18 September 2017
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KK robbed at gunpoint in Paris!

KK (name changed for legal reasons) was robbed of 10 kilos of her favorite jewelry in Paris! She thanked the robbers because now she feels 10 kilos lighter, and sod the money, she has enough!

written by Jaggedone, 09 January 2017
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Chris Christie Eats Five Guys

As the "Chickengate" scandal from the 2016 election grows, the New Jersey governor claims he's never even heard of KFC.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 27 May 2017
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Queen Decides She Will Skip Over Prince William and Make Prince George the Next King

"I figured, if we are going to go for a younger king, let's go all the way!" said the Queen.

written by Al N., 10 August 2017
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Man Apologizes while Running Marathon

Runner Bart Snard apologized to other runners, who collapsed on the track. "I ate Beef-a-Reeno; it fermented or something." Said one runner: "I'm never running again. I think I have lung damage."

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 15 September 2017
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Global warming threatens freezing Europe!

Another attack of global warming has descended upon Europe! In fact sitting here in Holland in my swimming trunks with a runny nose is not what they predicted!Let's hope they predict a new Ice Age!

written by Jaggedone, 08 January 2017
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President Trump Backtracks On Waterboarding

"I thought it was just a sport and that the Muslims had a phobia about surfing."

written by XRhonda Speaks, 22 January 2017
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One of Trump's Childhood Babysitters Will Be Head of the Department of Homeland Security

"I always felt safe whenever she was the babysitter" spoke Trump.

written by Al N., 29 June 2017
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NASA news

Due to government budget cuts NASA announced plans for their next excursion. "We are going to the Seattle Space Needle, its cheaper than outer space" stated director Jim Beam.

written by Jodi S Breeze, 10 July 2017
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From Secret Service to Leaky Service

The Secret Service has announced they are changing names. "Its true," said a spokesman." POTUS has a prostate problem, we spend a large portion of time securing bathrooms, sometimes he leaks"

written by Jodi S Breeze, 11 July 2017
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UFO sightings hit all-time high

Since recreational marijuana was legalized in Colorado in 2012, more UFO sightings have been reported in the state than ever before, but legislators insist the correlation is merely coincidental.

written by Gee Pee, 06 March 2017
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Trump Wants to End Phone Service in White House and Install Telegraph Instead.

He is also having all the computers removed and replaced with American-made 1950's IBM Mainframes.

written by Al N., 02 January 2017
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Brazil support vegetarians by flogging rotten meat!

In a perverse manner by "killing 2 cows with 1 meat hook" Brazil are now the "Messiah" of healthy living by flogging rotting meat to the world! A genial way to make the world vegetarian!

written by Jaggedone, 18 March 2017
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Honey Boo Boo To Sing At Trump Inauguration

The chubby vixen is planning on singing the national anthem Marylin Monroe style.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 09 January 2017
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What's In Trump's Folders?

Trump aides jealously guarded the folders during the President elect's news conference and for good reason: it turns out they were the resumes of models "disappeared" by Trump International Talent.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 11 January 2017
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Trump: Pink floyd To Pay For Wall

The President elect will seek funding from Congress and then he will send the bill to the band.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 14 January 2017
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Obama Joins Jedi Council

Barrack Obama is only the second African-American to be knighted by the Jedi Council after Samuel Jackson.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 01 April 2017
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Trump Pardons Bill Cosby

"All he did was grab some pussy and you can get elected President and do that!" explained Trump.

written by Al N., 02 April 2017
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Melania Trump Announces Divorce

Melania Trump will paint Trump Tower pink and rename it once Donald moves to the White House. Castle Pussylvania and Pussy Pylon are two of the possible new names. read more

written by XRhonda Speaks, 16 January 2017
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Theresa pulls the plug on Europe!

New Iron lady, Theresa May (no relation to Maggie), has pulled the plug on Europe and Europeans are hoping she disappears down her own plughole!

written by Jaggedone, 17 January 2017
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Walmart fires thousands

Walmart laid off 307,000 associates but promises to relocate them. The company has hired United Airlines to re-accommodate them.

written by Gee Pee, 12 April 2017
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United Airlines CEO supports employees

After his employees demanded officials drag a customer from a plane so an employee could take his seat, the airline's CEO praised them. "They followed our standard operating procedure."

written by Gee Pee, 12 April 2017
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United Airlines Now Offers Both a Red-Eye Flight and a Black-Eye Flight

The friendly skies just ain't what they used to be!

written by Al N., 13 April 2017
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Bank robber Mr. Lawrence Ripple; hero or woozy?

70 year-old Kansas born Mr.Lawrence Ripple robbed a bank to escape beatings from his wife from HELL! Now is he a matcho hero or just a woozy? Depends on what side of the frying pan you are on I guess!

written by Jaggedone, 24 January 2017
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Coca Cola banned in France! It causes too many Qui Qui's!

France have banned refills of sugared soft drinks because they make the French "Qui Qui" too much and their sugared "qui qui" is causing sewer rats to become obese!No more fat rats si'l vous plait!

written by Jaggedone, 27 January 2017
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US President Decrees That Suspected Witches In The US Be Arrested

'We realise this is irrational,' said an apologist for Donald Trump, 'but those who voted for him are frightened by this group, and the President must be seen to take action.'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 January 2017
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US President Decrees That The Underside Of All US Bridges Be Checked For Hungry Trolls

'We realise this is irrational,' said an apologist for Donald Trump, 'but those who voted for him are frightened by this group, and the President must be seen to take action.'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 January 2017
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Congressman Chaffetz Has Foot Removed From Mouth

Still in a cast after the historic surgery, the head of the house oversight committee hopes to get back to the investigation of Hillary Clinton's role in the Russian hacking of the 2016 election.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 02 May 2017
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US President Decrees That A Roof Be Built Over The US To Prevent US Citizens Being Abducted By Extra-Terrestrials

'We realise this is irrational,' said an apologist for Donald Trump, 'but those who voted for him are frightened by this group, and the President must be seen to take action.'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 January 2017
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US President Decrees That All American College Graduates Be Stripped Of Their Citizenship

'We realise this is irrational,' said an apologist for Donald Trump, 'but those who voted for him are frightened by this group, and the President must be seen to take action.'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 January 2017
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Milky Boobs being controlled at European Airports!

European Airports are doing "squeeze titty controls" on women entering from the Far East without babies but with tits full of milk and a pump! Trump is demanding to control all "pussies" too!

written by Jaggedone, 31 January 2017
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Prince of Darkness empties his closet!

Rattling skeleton bones and skulls, Ozzy Osbourne has admitted he's not the Prince of Darkness! In face he's so demented he doesn't even know who Satan is and calls himself now "Prince of Pussies!"

written by Jaggedone, 05 February 2017
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Melania Trump Pulls Out Knife When Donald Tries to Hold Her Hand

Everyone within hearing range heard her say, "Do it again and I'll cut you!"

written by Al N., 26 May 2017
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Journalists Calling Kim Jong-Un Smarter than Trump

"At least they still want clean air..." said reporters as U.S. withdraws from Paris Accord.

written by Al N., 02 June 2017
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Doctors Discover Cause of Trump Turning Orange

Doctors reveal that Trump's increasingly orange complexion is due to all the Golden Showers he gets.

written by Al N., 16 February 2017
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D List Comedian Kathy Griffin Finds New Gig in Remote Venue

Griffin scored what looks like a perma-gig in Nontetepapandia- former French African colony. Kathster will serve,Salome-like, as slave to the King, serving up roasted heads for court consumption.

written by Trinculoman, 19 June 2017
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Trump Bans Ghettos

"I think all the poverty, the crime and drug dealing is in the ghetto so we are banning ghettos."

written by Al N., 24 June 2017
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UK schoolboys wearing skirts!

The heatwave brings the weirdest out of people and schoolboys wearing schoolgirls skirts is weird, but then again, at least they aint big girl's blouses! Free the COJONES!

written by Jaggedone, 05 July 2017
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Brazilian GREEN puppy is an alien!

A golden retriever that gave birth to a GREEN puppy is not its real mum, an alien is! A UFO was seen flying over Brazil as dad did it doggy style! Now we all know Martians exist because dogs do too!

written by Jaggedone, 15 July 2017
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Trump Sends Secret Service to Walter Reed Hospital to Find the Gang of Green

"I just saw somewhere that someone there died because of gang of green. We're on it!" said Trump.

written by Al N., 23 July 2017
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Goat gives birth to Arab after THIS happens

Due to the flagrantly graphic beastiality photographed in this story, it is suggested you read the entire article at once, unless of course it is censored in your country!

written by Aspartame Boy, 28 July 2017
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President Trump Locks Eric Trump in the Tower of Trump Tower

"Eric broke and admitted to the press that he helped fund my campaign with charity money. Too weak!"

written by Al N., 05 August 2017
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Trump to Order all Non-White Supremacists to Wear White Armband with Peace Sign On It

Republicans refused to comment on the order.

written by Al N., 29 August 2017
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Lewinsky featured on new "adult" product

Monica Lewinsky's licensed likeness will appear on knee pads sold in adult bookstores and porno theater gift shops. Her face appears on each pad, above the caption, "At your service, Mr. President!"

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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Pelosi vows to resist repeal of Obummercare

Senate Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi says she's not about to sit idly by while Obummercare is repealed. "I need the insurance to pay for my plastic surgery and Botox!"

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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Costco to cost more

Costco announced it's raising membership fees so it can continue to give shoppers low prices.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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Bimbo Bread changes name

After being charged with sexism, Bimbo Bread is changing its name. Henceforth, it will be known as Virgin Slices.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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California home to most homeless

Due to its liberal politics and socialistic economy, The Golden State has more homeless and more rich people than any other state in America.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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Self-driving cars "too expensive," critic says

Auto mechanic Ben Fixt says, at their anticipated price of $300,000 each, self-driving cars will be too expensive for him. "I'd rather walk," he said.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017
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Elton John Demands Royalty from Trump Over Using the Term Rocket Man

Kim Jong Un said he would rather be Capt. Fantastic, Levon, or even Honky Cat more than Rocket Man.

written by Al N., 22 September 2017
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When Dreaming is not Dreaming or when it Is?

After falling asleep watching TV, a man woke up to find out he was dreaming that he had awoken from watching the news. There was nothing memorable about the news. He may have slept through it--or not.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 06 October 2017
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Turkish Kebab restaurants in Holland go up in flames!

Dutch / Turkish diplomatic relationships have hit rock bottom, why? It's all about a "Turkish storm brewing in a Dutch teacup" Nothing more!

written by Jaggedone, 12 March 2017
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Bill Cosby's Lawyers Won't Go Out for a Drink with Him

The excuse of "We have to work late on your case" is getting old.

written by Al N., 13 March 2017
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Secret Service Catch Man Who Scaled White House Fence

Since he was covered in dirt, it took them a minute to realize the intruder was Rudy Giuliani.

written by Al N., 13 March 2017
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LED's punch these lights out!

LED streetlamps cause insomnia! Yes, especially if humans forget to close their curtains, pull the blinds down, or sleep outdoors! Mind you sex under LED lamps aint bad!

written by Jaggedone, 13 March 2017
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Kellyanne Conway Applys To Be Spoof Writer

When asked about her qualifications she said, "I don't need any evidence, I have alternative facts..."

written by XRhonda Speaks, 13 March 2017
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Trump to Hold Pep Rally in Nashville

We're not sure what to call it, so pep rally seemed good to me, said former cheerleader Kellyanne C.

written by Al N., 14 March 2017
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Trump Booby-Traps Tax Returns

Because of media leaks of his tax returns, Trump said that he has set huge traps on all his returns.

written by Al N., 15 March 2017
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Due to a shortage of performers for the inauguration

Bill Clinton will be playing a saxophone solo.

written by pinkwalrus, 08 January 2017
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GOP pledges consistency

They vow to hold themselves to the same standards they have held the Democrats to: careful vetting of cabinet picks, open investigations of scandals, etc.

The public can just leave it all to them.

written by pinkwalrus, 08 January 2017
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Trump Signs Executive Order to Ban Spiders & Insects

"I've never liked them and it seemed like the right thing to do" said Trump.

written by Al N., 17 March 2017
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Trump downsizes White House

Citing concerns for his carbon footprint, Trump plans to move the first family into a smaller building using only solar power.

written by pinkwalrus, 08 January 2017
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Pink Floyd Won't Let Trump Use Their Song 'The Wall' for His Wall

In true Trump fashion, he just went ahead and used it, claiming they don't own the rights any more.

written by Al N., 21 March 2017
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Market Flooded After Woody Harrelson Quits Smoking Pot

The sudden surge in supply has put growers in a bind as demand is cut in half and prices plunge.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 21 March 2017
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Trump Adds to His Threat Regarding How Republicans Who Vote Against Repealing Obamacare Will Lose Their Seats

He has now added that everyone who votes against him will be taken off his Trump Steak Xmas List.

written by Al N., 22 March 2017
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Trump Claims He is Helping Elderly People by Cutting Meals on Wheels

"Ivanka read to me that America is too obese. So I am helping to make old people eat less" he said.

written by Al N., 22 March 2017
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Pelosi Regains a Key Role in Progresso-Dystopia

Minority Leader Pelosi,but Maestro of Senility,regains her slot as the Wicked Witch of ObamaCare in the realm of Progresso-Dystopia. She is attended by Chuck-o Schumer as the Court Fool of Hypocrisy.

written by Trinculoman, 24 March 2017
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Kremlin's Compromising Trump Files Include Photos of Him Without Toupee

Also, the Kremlin threatened to release details of Trump's 3-day secret marriage to Pam Anderson.

written by Al N., 12 January 2017
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Ivanka Trump Has Office in the White House

All press communiques will now go out with the label, "Brought to you courtesy of Ivanka Collection"

written by Al N., 25 March 2017
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Meryl Streep Receives Huge Tax Bill And Her House is Repossessed

Trump says that it's not due to her remarks at the Golden Globes, insists it's just a coincidence.

written by Al N., 12 January 2017
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Freedom Caucus Members Seek Asylum with Marie LaPen

After scuttling Trump's O-Care replacement plan,Freedom Caucus-ers fled to France,pleading to be taken in at LaPen's ultra-Right,Non-Tous-Le-Temps commune.Trump sent ex-seal Marcus Lutrell in pursuit.

written by Trinculoman, 25 March 2017
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Trump Will Rename the Rose Garden the "Pete Rose Garden"

He has also installed a device to make the Oval Office revolve so will call it the Revolving Office.

written by Al N., 12 January 2017
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"After Impeachment, I'll Just Run A Car Lot." Says President Trump

"A nice quiet used car lot in New Jersey," Trump wistfully said, then he added "who knew this presidency thing was so complicated?"

written by XRhonda Speaks, 26 March 2017
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Rocky Trump Horror show opens in Washington!

Trump is determined to act like a seductive Tranny every time he confronts the world's press! Last night was his first performance as Rocky Trump Horror! It was a knock out success & Putin laughed too

written by Jaggedone, 12 January 2017
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Trump Announces that Losing the Health Care Vote Was "All Part of the Plan"

Paul Ryan and Thomas Pence were asked to comment and said, "There's a plan?"

written by Al N., 26 March 2017
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US Dems Demand Specific Cabinet Choice

In hearings US Congress Dems demand an Attorney Bleeding-Heart-in-Chief who'll grant status to all illegal aliens and ensure they vote retroactively for Hillary. Only voter ID required is a navel.

written by Trinculoman, 12 January 2017
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Trump Will Cut Funding to Veteran's Benefits, Science, Environment, and Education in Order to Fund Wall

...and that's just for starters!

written by Al N., 28 March 2017
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Rudy Giuliani Named Cyber Security Advisor

Learns to turn on his computer.

written by pinkwalrus, 13 January 2017
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More 20th Century Celebrities Die

With the passing of Peter Sarstedt, Lord Snowdon and William Peter Blatty in 2017, experts have calculated that within four years no celebrities will remain who anyone over sixty has ever heard of.

written by Swan Morrison, 13 January 2017
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German giants pull plug on Brexit Britain!

Aldi and Lidl, German giants have had enough of Brexit bullshit and closed all of their shops in the UK in a "Blitskrieg" action! Harrods, owned by Arabs, are also thinking of moving to Frankfurt!

written by Jaggedone, 30 March 2017
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Trump Inauguration Announces It Will Feature "One-Hit-Wonder" Performers for Inauguration Festivities

Lee Greenwood, (God Bless the USA) and 3 Doors Down (Kryptonite) are the latest D-Listers signed.

written by Al N., 13 January 2017
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Trump Declares Freedom Caucus Bigger Threat to America Than Isis

"For now, forget about that plan I had to defeat Isis, we have a new and evil enemy!" said Trump.

written by Al N., 30 March 2017
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Microwave Takes Selfie!

Owner, worried about NSA surveillance, cooks with fire.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 31 March 2017
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Portuguese Man o War v German Giant Eagle!

Manchester, 15/01 sees an apocalyptic clash of fallen red giants! Can the Portuguese Man o War repel the German Eagle swooping to reclaim a long lost crown? Red Devils v Red Pretenders, a win, win!

written by Jaggedone, 14 January 2017
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Trump Denies That He Likes Pee

On a side note, sales of Trump Water have fallen to absolutely nothing.

written by Al N., 15 January 2017
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Prudent Diagnosis for Fox News's Judge Janine

To palliate the manic verbal eruptions spewing from Fox News's Judge Janine, she should reduce her testosterone ejections every Saturday from six to one, and cut back to only one cup of expresso.

written by Trinculoman, 01 April 2017
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Dorset Wildlife Trust Asks Public To Name New Marine Conservation Zone Off Bournemouth Coast

'The current most popular name amongst the public is "MarineConservationZoney McMarineConservationZoneface"' admitted a Dorset Wildlife Trust spokesman.

written by Swan Morrison, 15 January 2017
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U.S. Objects to Isis Calling Trump an "Idiot"

"Trump is an imbecile, not an idiot. Imbeciles are a little smarter." defended psychiatrists."

written by Al N., 05 April 2017
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NWO! Trump & Putin jump into bed!

Trump has released his latest foreign policies and decided to target Merkel instead of attacking ISIS! He called her "an old bag!" Putin laughed and has promised solidarity to Trump in their NWO!

written by Jaggedone, 17 January 2017
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Trump Calls Kim Jong-Un Hugely Fat, Crazy, and Stupid

War is inevitable as soon as the North Koreans get a missile that can hit Trump Tower.

written by Al N., 06 April 2017
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Dutch druggist chain adopt Hitler as their flagship logo!

Now we all knew the Dutch were slightly outrageous but now the druggist chain, Kruidfart, have proved to the world what we all knew; they're a bunch of pot-smoking nutters (Not Nazis!)

written by Jaggedone, 06 April 2017
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Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich & Bonzo Dog Band Latest Bands to Refuse to Play at Trump's Inauguration

Also refusing to play at the Inauguration are the Log Cabin Republican Kazoo Band and Bongzilla.

written by Al N., 17 January 2017
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Indian monkeys much better parents than humans!

An Indian girl was discovered in a monkey family and it seems her habits are much better than children with human parents! No smartphones, no junk food, no tantrums; Monkey Business is much better!

written by Jaggedone, 08 April 2017
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Vegas Gamblers Change Word for Wild Cards from "Trump"

By an anonymous vote, because of Trump's unpopularity, the word for a wild card will be a "Chump."

written by Al N., 17 January 2017
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Trump to Begin Picking All of His Advisers and Appointees from the Ranks of Fox News

Rumors that Tucker Carlson, and Sean Hannity will soon have gov't posts aren't exactly rumors...

written by Al N., 09 April 2017
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Harloton, Montana Emerald Kazoo & Spoons Band Drops Out of Trump Inaugural Celebration

With the exodus of the Kazoo & Spoon Band this still leaves Toby Keith & Frontmen of Country-YEEHAA!

written by Al N., 18 January 2017
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Trump's Press Secretary Denies That Trumps' Slogan Was Going to be "Make America Hate Again!"

And then she asked if it was too late to change the slogan.

written by Al N., 19 January 2017
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Bill Cosby Children's Books Found to Be Among Most Banned

The book they like least is the one where Li'l Bill spikes all the girls' Kool-Aid with Spanish Fly.

written by Al N., 11 April 2017
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Circus Elephant to Bring Up Rear of Trump Inauguration Parade

Last of Ringling Brothers pachyderms will lumber down parade route spraying protestors while defecating the streets of D.C. "A fitting image of what's to come," says one Democrat of the GOP icon.

written by GProwler, 20 January 2017
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Hillary ratings set new record

According to a recent Razmuzzen Poll, Hillary Clinton's popularity rating has plunged to a record low of -1,000 percent, which is "lower than whale shit."

written by Gee Pee, 11 April 2017
« 2016 2017  
January
66
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February
90
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March
122
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April
37
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May
37
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June
31
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July
27
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August
24
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September
22
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October
11
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November
0
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December
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