There were 102 spoof news snippets published in October 2016. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Trump Manager Wants More Debates

Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump's campaign manager, said today she wants more debates because The Donald has "absolutely crushed Clinton in the 3 so far." Some think Kellyanne is an idiot.

written by Keith Shirey, 30 October 2016
Rating:

Antony Weiner May Have Ejaculated On Computer

FBI agents who examined Antony Weiner's computer for information on whether he sexted a minor wore latex gloves when handling the computer it has been revealed. It was disgusting to touch it said one.

written by Keith Shirey, 30 October 2016
Rating:

Sex In America Down Because Of Trump

As one women put it, "The thought of having sex with my husband, a man, is horrifying after constantly hearing about Trump's sexual assults and abusive language about women."

written by Keith Shirey, 30 October 2016
Rating:

FBI Interferes In 2016 Election

Director Comey's releasing Antony Weiner's computer e-mail content which might threaten national security 11 days before election is just par for the course. See FBI Cointelpro operations.

written by Keith Shirey, 29 October 2016
Rating:

Billy Bush, Anthony Weiner Determine Election Outcome

The videotape of Billy interviewing sexual assault Trump and Anthony Weiner's sextext investigation and finding that e-mails on his computer might jeopardize national security determine election.

written by Keith Shirey, 29 October 2016
Rating:

Little Kids Must Face Deportation Judge Alone

The Justice Department says there is no need to provide attorneys for little kids when facing deportation. "Being alone in front of a judge toughens them up," says a spokesman for the Department.

written by Keith Shirey, 29 October 2016
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French Jungle stank of garlic!

It has been established that a French Jungle recently destroyed by a bunch of Baguette Bashers stunk of garlic not urine! As the shit hit the fan a pungent cloud smelling of the herb hung in the air!

written by Jaggedone, 30 October 2016
Rating:

Trump Unveils Two New Slogans

"When they go high, we go low!"

"Yo Mexicans, su casa es mi casa!"

written by Mike Peril, 13 October 2016
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Melania Says Campaign Interferes With Trophy Wife Duties

Ms. Trump said today that accusations of sexual assault against her husband were taking time from her shopping.

written by Keith Shirey, 18 October 2016
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Trump Wonders Why His Campaign Team Hasn't Had Him Visit Toronto or Montreal

When told those cities were in Canada, Trump said, "We need all the votes we can get!"

written by Al N., 27 October 2016
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Hollywood Walk of Fame Committee Horrified at Donald Trump Star Vandalism

However, they admitted it won't be fixed very soon since the Hugh Laurie ceremony was so strenuous.

written by Al N., 27 October 2016
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Axel Rose Says British Are Discriminatory to Knight Mick Jagger and Not Him

Axel was surprised when he was told that you have to be British to be knighted by the Queen.

written by Al N., 27 October 2016
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Future Diwali celebrations in ISIS hands!

After the successful Diwali celebrations in India caused an environmental disaster and many deaths the Indian government have asked ISIS to organize future festivals because they need a bigger cull!

written by Jaggedone, 31 October 2016
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Church of Scamatology Admits They Are A Cult

"But we're a GOOD cult!" said a cult spokesperson.

written by Al N., 01 October 2016
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Angelina Jolie Seduces Melissa Ethridge's Girlfriend

She was getting even for the song chastising her that Melissa Ethridge wrote.

written by Al N., 07 October 2016
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Trump Tries to Get Out of Second Debate

"I think I might have a doctor appointment that night so I don't think I can make it" said Trump.

written by Al N., 07 October 2016
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Trump Endorses Tramp Tattoo

Spotting a "tramp tattoo" saying TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT on a near-naked nymphet Trump gave a thumbs up.

written by Al N., 07 October 2016
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Trump Blames Lewd Tape on Hillary and the Brazilian Beauty Queen

Donald Trump disavowed the 2005 lewd tape recording of him, saying it was all evil plot by villains.

written by Al N., 08 October 2016
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One Minute After Trump Announced He Would Stay in the Race In Spite of Demeaning Women on Tape...

...he went out and put a giant bet on Hillary to win.

written by Al N., 09 October 2016
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Trump Offers to Take Hillary Furniture Shopping...

..if she'll lighten up on him in the next debate.

written by Al N., 09 October 2016
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Bill Cosby Endorses Donald Trump for President

"I don't endorse candidates" said Cosby "but when I heard his tape I knew Trump was the one for me."

written by Al N., 09 October 2016
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Donald Trump Has a Response When Asked About Lewd Tape of Him Demeaning Women

Trump replied, "Talking about anything else but Hurricane Matthew would disrespect its victims."

written by Al N., 09 October 2016
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Trump Says Hillary Has an E-Mail Server Full of Deplorables

When questioned, Trump wasn't actually sure what he meant by that or even what an e-mail server is.

written by Al N., 09 October 2016
Rating:

Hillary's "Empathy"

Hillary has "empathy" just like a hawk has "empathy" for a vole. M Voltaire

written by Trinculoman, 10 October 2016
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Trump VP Pence Quits, Roger Ailes to Replace Him

"He had some problems at his last job & is free and we both seem to have lots in common" said Trump.

written by Al N., 10 October 2016
Rating:

Kim Jong-Un Now More Popular than Donald Trump

But Trump is still more popular than Hitler and Cheney.

written by Al N., 12 October 2016
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As more and more women come forth saying Trump groped them...

...the big question is, will Trump eventually post bigger abuse numbers than Cosby?

written by Al N., 15 October 2016
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Nigeria's President, Muhammadu Buhari, To Engage In Further Talks During Visit To Germany

'I look forward to constructive talks on important world affairs with Angela Merkel's husband,' President Buhari told reporters, 'while Angela cooks some delicious Sauerkraut for us in the kitchen.'

written by Swan Morrison, 15 October 2016
Rating:

Pokémon GO Praised For Its Realism

I was hunting Pokémon creatures in London Zoo on the 13th of October,' said an avid gamer, 'when a big, hairy one seemed to come right up to me and take a banana from my pocket. It was so realistic.'

written by Swan Morrison, 15 October 2016
Rating:

US Asks Queen Of England To Become Interim American Head Of State

'The behaviour of Trump and Clinton make them unsuitable presidents,' said a US spokesman. 'Her Majesty has the respect of all and would reintroduce the dignity and propriety lost from US politics.'

written by Swan Morrison, 16 October 2016
Rating:

Experts Say To Avoid Grocery Shopping When You Are Hungry

Isn't that like saying not to watch porn when you're horny?

written by XRhonda Speaks, 16 October 2016
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Republican Party Develops Collective Amnesia As No One Can Remember Who Voted for Trump

They all swear they wanted Jeb Bush, really, but voted for Trump as a joke, never thinking he'd win!

written by Al N., 16 October 2016
Rating:

Sentencing Of Zimmerman Shooter Shows Double Standard

Is it dangerous to be a black man in America? {Duh, Yes!}:

Zimmerman shot and killed a Black teenager and was not charged.

Another man shot at and missed Zimmerman, who is not Black, and got 20 years.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 17 October 2016
Rating:

Trump Knows Election Will Be Rigged

The reason is because Trump plans on rigging the election himself.

written by Al N., 18 October 2016
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Trump Says He Will Name Putin as His Secretary of War

When told the head of defense was now called Secretary of Defense, Trump said, "Whatever."

written by Al N., 20 October 2016
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What Donald Trump and Brad Pitt Have in Common

On January 1, 2017:

Trump is accused of groping by a 48th woman

Brad Pitt gets to see his children for the 48th time

written by Mike Peril, 20 October 2016
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Trump Foundation Will Purchase Giant Statue of Donald Trump for the White House

The next thing the "non-profit" foundation will buy is a giant Trump statue for New York Harbor.

written by Al N., 21 October 2016
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Heathrow or Death-Row?

Well there really is not a lot of difference!

written by Jaggedone, 25 October 2016
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Trump Says He Will Sue All His Accusers But Accidentally Names Women That Haven't Accused Him Yet

"Well, if they haven't accused me yet, they probably will anyways so we'll be ready" said Trump.

written by Al N., 25 October 2016
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TRUMP TV Series in the Works

Trump Loves Chachi, starring Donald J. Trump and Scott Baio, explains what happened after Joanie broke up with Chachi.

written by Mike Peril, 26 October 2016
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Republicans Deny That G.O.P. Stands For 'Grab On Pussy'

"No, it really stands for 'Go Opposite of Party'" said exasperated Republicans.

written by Al N., 27 October 2016
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A Vaginal Rose Garden It Could be!

Will Trump shave Rose Garden Bushes into lady parts tribute? Sources at Russia's Hot Dong Magazine say uh huh! (But in a sexy voice.)

written by Paul Blake, 28 October 2016
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Morrisons Increase Cost Of Marmite By 12.5%

Unilever shareholders are said to be delighted whereas Morisons' Marmite customers are reported to be furious. In relation to the decision, it appears that people either love it or hate it.

written by Swan Morrison, 28 October 2016
Rating:

Mars Lander Defines Relationship Between Russia And The West

'The joint European Space Agency/Russian Space Agency Mars lander reflects the developing relationship between our nations,' said a spokesman. 'It crashed into the Martian surface at 300kph.'

written by Swan Morrison, 28 October 2016
Rating:

Bill Cosby Insists He Must Touch Each Accuser to Identify Them Since He's Legally Blind

What is making the accusers really mad is where Cosby insists he must touch the accusers.

written by Al N., 29 October 2016
Rating:

"Idiot-Expert"... New US TV Show Big Hit.

Excerpt.
Expert: Let's make the world a better place.
Idiot: Maybe if we stop fighting...
Expert: Science rules. Too many ugly, stupid people. Evolution. New World Order.
Idiot: Why not let it be?

written by Auntie Matter, 01 October 2016
Rating:

The Soda Pop Awards Ceremony

The Gala event in New York had many reps in attendance, all in tux and gowns.
The winner went to "U-R-Lifesi", a new kid on the block that boasted no less than 195 chemicals in its composition.

written by Auntie Matter, 01 October 2016
Rating:

Vimeo Under Threat

Homosexual photographers focusing on female asses entirely will no longer be permitted. Also taboo are bimbos smoking, sporting tattoos or showing any other signs of come-on physical self-abuse.

written by Auntie Matter, 01 October 2016
Rating:

Paris Hilton Changes Name to Ivanka Trump

Sources confirm that Paris Hilton, in desperate need of attention, has changed her name to Ivanka Trump and is jumping back into the party scene. She hopes to become Chelsea Clinton's BFF.

written by Mike Peril, 01 October 2016
Rating:

Hurricane Donald

HURRICAN DONALD TO MAKE LANDFALL ON THE ISLAND OF REPUBLICAN IN EARLY NOVEMBER

The Blowhard, expected to reach winds of 160 MPH, may well level the Grand Old Party--or, at least what's left of it.

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 04 October 2016
Rating:

"Just Not Good Enough"

Concerning a government proposal to fund The Victims of Verbal Abuse Assoc. a spokesman for the group replied:
"This is just not good enough. Fuck off!"

written by Auntie Matter, 05 October 2016
Rating:

Homosexuality Redefined

The Vatican has redefined homosexuality as a "spiritual-psychological impairment". Practitioners everywhere are going bananas. NWO in jeopardy.

written by Auntie Matter, 05 October 2016
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Big Bad Wolf Industries: We LURRRRV Hurricane Matthew

Big Bad Wolf Industries spokeperson Dorothy Gale today sent a message to the people of Haiti and the rest of the USA - "Guys, keep building your houses out of wood - you keep our business BOOMING!!!"

written by The Big C O Jones, 07 October 2016
Rating:

Australian Libraries

Libraries in Australia are called "kindergartens".
That is where you go to watch herds of kids run wild, scream, whimper and bawl while their mums gossip and read the mags.

written by Auntie Matter, 08 October 2016
Rating:

Reactions to Trump

N.Korea beware. Reaction = mild.
Wall around Mexico = so-so.
Muslims out of US = so-so.
Air-bomb Isis = mild.
Stop Iran = mild.
Bomb Iraq's oil fields = mild.
Did I say "pussy" = Shock-Horror.

written by Auntie Matter, 08 October 2016
Rating:

Cosby Endorses Trump

Bill Cosby endorsed Donald Trump after seeing Trump's "Access Hollywood" video.

"I like his style, let's keep it at that," noted Cosby.

written by Mike Peril, 09 October 2016
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Trump Destroys Yet Another Bush Career

Suffering fallout from the Trump Access Hollywood video, Billy Bush will join Season 2 of "In the Bushes", a Bush family reality show starring Jeb, three Georges, and the family who endures them.

written by Mike Peril, 09 October 2016
Rating:

Trump to Star in "The Producers"

Trump has been asked to play Broadway manager Max Bialystock in a remake of "The Producers".
"Like Max's play the more Trump tries to make sure he flops, the more likely he may succeed," said Warners.

written by Auntie Matter, 09 October 2016
Rating:

Who Made the Most Money out of Harry Potter?

Answer: THE FREEMASONS IN PUBLISHING, FILM AND MARKETING who concocted it. But...shhssh... don't go telling anybody...you are not supposed to know.

written by Auntie Matter, 09 October 2016
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Picasso a Pedophile

Lifelong brothel crawler Pablo Picasso was a pedophile according to Rolf Harris's daughter Bindi Nicholls. Price of his doodles expected to soar.

written by Auntie Matter, 11 October 2016
Rating:

The Biggest Socially Accepted Swindles.

1. Mobile Phone Charges.
2. Broadband Charges.
3. ATM Charges.
4. Garbage Collection.
5. Water.
6. Electricity.
7. PUBLIC TRANSPORT.
WHAT WE ALL NEED SHOULD NOT BE IN THE CONTROL OF PROFITEERS.

written by Auntie Matter, 12 October 2016
Rating:

The Clintons: Power for Money and Pay to Play

The Clintons decided to obtain power so they can grow rich. This is how the Clintons went from dead broke to millionaires in the last 16 years. Other politicians earn their money to obtain power.

written by Billy Joe Jim Bob, 13 October 2016
Rating:

Galaxy Note 7 fires courtesy North Korea?!

Seoul, South Korea - Samsung announced that North Korean hackers caused the Galaxy Note 7 fires. The company is looking into ways to sneak them into DPRK inside a 300 ft. wooden statue of Kim Jong-un.

written by Billy Joe Jim Bob, 13 October 2016
Rating:

Breaking News!

Breaking News! Breaking news now illegal in Sweden

written by Backandtotheleft, 14 October 2016
Rating:

Creepy Clown Groin-Kicks Donald Trump

O.k., not really, but it's fun to think about, isn't it?

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 15 October 2016
Rating:

Revamped Happy Days Returns with Senior Cast

Fonz: Donald Trump
Ritchie: Billy Bush
Potsie: Marco Rubio
Ralph: Ted Cruz
Joanie: Chris Christie
New Black Friend: Ben Carson

written by Mike Peril, 15 October 2016
Rating:

Bill Clinton, Donald Trump Have Gay Affair

Test results are in from the lab: The stain on The Donald's tie is full of Bill Clinton's DNA.

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 16 October 2016
Rating:

Exploding Samsung Phones Actually North Korean Plot

"Hey, we had to get rid of our excess fissile material somehow!" exclaimed the Dear Leader with a shrug.

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 16 October 2016
Rating:

Latest Clip from "Idiot-Expert" US TV Show.

Idiot: Is there a God?
Expert: No. God is just an idea.
Idiot: Where do ideas come from?
Expert: What?
Idiot: Where do ideas come from?
Expert: Amm...amm...
Idiot: You don't know.
Expert: Do so!

written by Auntie Matter, 16 October 2016
Rating:

Trump is Feeling Blue

Although his face is beet red, Trump is feeling blue as poll after poll in each state turns against him.

written by Mike Peril, 16 October 2016
Rating:

Trump-Clinton

Consensus Opinion as follows:
"It's just a little TV excitement put on and paid for by the rich. So's we all believe we got a 'democracy" and all that crap. The President was picked three years ago."

written by Auntie Matter, 17 October 2016
Rating:

Spoof Got it Nailed Again.

Harry Potter and Accursed Child indeed!
We give you.... From last year...the doomed foretelling...

http://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/entertainment-gossip/124269/harry-potter-book-8-to-be-released

written by Auntie Matter, 17 October 2016
Rating:

Trump Confesses All

"Brain cancer will not stop me becoming President."

written by Auntie Matter, 19 October 2016
Rating:

Vimeo's Most Watched Video

Confused beautiful blonde who thinks she is a redhead posing in white lingerie that she thinks is black before a middle-aged pervert with a camera she thinks is a photographer.

written by Auntie Matter, 19 October 2016
Rating:

Trump Not Guilty

Trump's lawyer Aesop Skilling of London stated: "My client Mister Trump is not guilty of fondling this woman's breasts. The fact is... the lady's breasts fondled him."

written by Auntie Matter, 20 October 2016
Rating:

Universal UK Media Applause for Rowling

UK Media applause for Rowling in a recent response to Trump on her Twitter was unanimous. "Pure genius" was the verdict. What exactly did she say?
"Shoo!"

Wake up Sheeple!

written by Auntie Matter, 20 October 2016
Rating:

Irish Bachelor Commits Suicide

Bello Masaba had 86 wives. He was a faith healer from Nigeria and 86 years old. On hearing the news 40 yr old Irishman Sean Murphy killed himself. "I can't get even one bitch to talk to me!" he wrote.

written by Auntie Matter, 20 October 2016
Rating:

Are They Trying to Find out ALL about you?

A man who won $20 in an Australian casino had to fill out a form giving his address, phone number, date of birth, age, marital status and annual income before he could pick it up. This is not made up.

written by Auntie Matter, 20 October 2016
Rating:

The Vatican Rules

"Hillary hates Catholics". Sure she does Donald.
On Jul 23 Pope Francis publicly endorsed Hillary for president. That put a few votes her way or what? Hillary is pro abortion, duh? Join the dots.

written by Auntie Matter, 21 October 2016
Rating:

Potter Marketing Goes On.

The Potter Gold Mine cranks on thanks to massive free marketing from the UK press.
Rowling's latest Twitter on Trump got praised;
"Boo you Donald!".
Is there no end to this woman's brilliance?

written by Auntie Matter, 21 October 2016
Rating:

Doctors warn of adrenaline withdrawal post-election

Experts say, people have been so hyped up on
anger, fear, shock, and confusion that
normal daily life may look pale and uninteresting.

Beware impulses to seek "replacement highs"...

written by pinkwalrus, 22 October 2016
Rating:

Pre-election Christmas sales

Shop now! Who knows what will happen November 9th.

written by pinkwalrus, 22 October 2016
Rating:

Space Station reports it can still see reality from there

but the cloud of misdirection, lies and projection billowing over the U.S. is getting larger and denser all the time

written by pinkwalrus, 22 October 2016
Rating:

Apple's New App: Don-B-Gone

To make up for the new iPhone 7's lack of headphone jack,

Apple is offering a free app that blocks Donald Trump's image, voice, and quotes from any web content viewed on the phone.

written by pinkwalrus, 22 October 2016
Rating:

One happy American found and interviewed

A plankton researcher, he has been looking through a microscope at small plants at sea for the past 9 months.

And he would be happy to tell you all about them.

written by pinkwalrus, 22 October 2016
Rating:

Branson on Meeting Trump

"For somebody who is running to be leader of the free world to be so wrapped up in himself rather than concerned with global issues, is very worrying."
But it's OK if you buy up Australia for England.

written by Auntie Matter, 22 October 2016
Rating:

White House Statement

BEWARE OF CONSPIRACY THEORISTS!

Those people are up to no good.

written by Auntie Matter, 23 October 2016
Rating:

Rowling Queen

It seems that Rowling has written more words than Proust or Dickens in her short career and after a late start at 24 year old. How odd is that? Surely..duh.. there are not others involved?

written by Auntie Matter, 23 October 2016
Rating:

Gary Johnson Campaign Adopts Final Desparate Slogans

If they go low, we get high!

If they get high, we get higher!

written by Mike Peril, 24 October 2016
Rating:

Are you a "Sceptonoiac"?

The NWO Tavistock Inst. has cited a new mental 'illness'. "SCEPTONOIA", first discovered by Dr. Wun Long Lie of N. Korea, means "an habitual refusal to believe what the media tell you." Treatable.

written by Auntie Matter, 25 October 2016
Rating:

Pope Francis Apologizes for Inquisition.

"There'll be no more scattering of ashes," said he.

written by Auntie Matter, 26 October 2016
Rating:

More From the "Idiot-Expert" US TV Show.

Idiot: Evolution is rubbish.
Expert: It's fact. Man was a monkey once. One species evolves from another.
Idiot: Dogs and cats.
Expert: What about them?
Idiot: Where's the cogs and dats?
Expert: What?

written by Auntie Matter, 27 October 2016
Rating:

7 Malheur Occupants Found Not Guilty

... and given a fruit basket before the Bundys and several others are sent on to their next trial for a 2014 event in Nevada

written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
Rating:

Trump Promised 100 Million Dollars to Own Campaign

Trump boasted many times that he was contributing this much to his campaign, but seems to have trouble counting that high.

He, to date, has bailed out at 66.

written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
Rating:

Putin Puppets: This Year's "It" Xmas Gift

Inspired by the 3rd debate exchange "No Puppet.""No Puppet.""You're the puppet.""No, you're the puppet."
sets of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump "Putin Puppets" are fast selling out before release.

written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
Rating:

Putin Flexes Flabby Muscle

The 30 year old Admiral Kuznetsov, Russia's only aircraft carrier, is on parade around Europe to Syria belching smoke and escorted by a tug boat in case it breaks down.

written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
Rating:

Who Will it Be?

Who corporate US chose as president is top secret as the farce of "democracy" is played out. Their enablers are the media. To date it has been all Trump. Hillary's turn now 2 weeks before the 'vote'?

written by Auntie Matter, 28 October 2016
Rating:

Unnamed Candidate Suggests Cancelling Election

And would just like to be handed the presidency...

is open to being crowned.

written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
Rating:

Here at Last!

The noisiest lawnmower ever! Called The Jumbo it comes in at a massive ear splitting 80 dB. Now you can drive all your neighbours completely insane from dawn to dusk and not have to go to jail for it.

written by Auntie Matter, 28 October 2016
Rating:

The Libertarian Ticket

Johnson: Asks reporter "Why are you even interviewing me?"

VP Weld: Don't vote for Trump & don't "waste" your vote

written by pinkwalrus, 28 October 2016
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