Spoof news snippets from December 2016
There were 44 spoof news snippets published in December 2016. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Americans Extremely Confused About Intelligence
How is it that the CIA held valid intelligence on Russian election interference while the FBI actively spread rumors that weren't true?
Pope Promises Salvation to All Electoral College Members Who Don't Vote for Trump
He also promised that any Trump electors voting for Hillary will receive a free Italian vacation.
Real life hijack becomes fantasy!
When does a real life hijack become reality? Ask Malta airport, they have all the answers...
GOP Changing its Iconic Symbol of the Elephant to a Toad.
"With Donald Trump's goal to 'drain the swamp' what better symbol than the toad. Its ability to operate in the muck while appearing to be above it is a perfect reflection of our party's values."
Zsa Zsa Gabor RIP; who?
After losing yet another global diva after Prince and Lemmy, the world has lost Zsa Zsa! The only question on people's minds, who was she and what actually did she do? A question only she can answer!
Bill Cosby Camped Out on White House Lawn
Cosby wants a pardon from Obama before his term runs out but no one will tell him Obama's in Hawaii!
At Last... The Truth Revealed
And terribly simple it is; Those who HAVE rule...and those who have NOT are ruled.
Let the asset be property, knowledge, scholarship; it matters not a damn. This is what is happening. Tyranny.
Scamatologists Moving to North Korea after Leah Remini Program
We just want to get away from the Suppresive atmosphere and move somewhere where they understand us
Trump Comments on Saddam Hussein's Daughter's Endorsement of Him
"Saddam Hussein? Was that the pock-marked guy we took down in Panama?" asked Trump.
DNC Dufus Duped Again
John Podufus,excampaign mgr.for Hillbot&DNCschlmiel,asked Santafor a cybersecure app,but was duped again via a phishing scam by a Russki icon in red suit&white beard.
Putting Christ Back in Christmas
Thank God the PussyGrabber-in-Chief is putting Christ back in Christmas . (Just don't let him anywhere near the Virgin Mary.)
Saudis threaten to sell Hillary
Hillary owes the Arabs billions since she can't play for the pay.
They want to sell her to ISIS as a white slave but will first invest in massive plastic surgery. Wait, they withdrew the offer.
UK Trade Unions Vow To Bring Britain To A Standstill
At today's press conference, representatives of UK trade unions were asked why on earth they were behaving like this. 'We don't know,' a spokesman admitted. 'We haven't thought it through that far.'
Trump Names Sarah Palin as Chief of Staff of...
...the Upstairs Maid Crew for the White House!
Microsoft advent calendar
Microsoft are recalling their Christmas 2016 Advent Calendar, as when five windows are open at the same time, it crashes.
Donald Trump Receives Duke Of Edinburg's Award For Attitude To China
'This isn't the outward bound award,' said a spokesman. 'It's the one for insulting foreigners. He got bronze in the slitty-eye category. Just nine more nations to offend for gold - he'll get there!'
Trump Plans To Cancel Boeing Order For New Air Force One
'If I had that plane, I could start a nuclear war at 30,000 feet,' tweeted Donald Trump. 'But, hell, I can start a nuclear war from anywhere I want at any time - you just wait and see!'
Saudi's threaten to hack BOJO's hand off!
Britain's interests abroad have hit new heights with BOJO, who has, with superior diplomatic skills, insulted Saudi and Iran and now, if he ever holiday's in Dubai, they will hack his left hand off!
What do you call a Cleveland Browns player with a Super Bowl ring?
= A Thief.
Trump Seeks to Attend Electoral College- Not Sure Where's Campus
Says,"Having run Trump University I know about educational excellence.I look forward to visiting the campus wherever it is."
Theresa May's leatherette thighs are fake!
Trousergate, the latest scandal to rock 10 Downing St. is pure plagiarism, the only real Leatherette Thighs in the world belong to Volga Olga of Erskine Quint fame!
Newly Discovered Documents Shed Light On Sinking Of Titanic
'It appears that the captain held a referendum among the passengers about which course to steer,' revealed a maritime historian. 'Fifty-two percent voted to point the ship at an iceberg.'
Trump Wants to See Jesus Christ's Birth Certificate Before He Sanctions any Christmas Celebrations
"I'm sure it's all in order, but I'm just wondering why we've never seen it" Trump tweeted.
Trump Wants to Change Name of Holiday to "Trumpmas"
"It has a nice ring to it and might be a nice way to thank me for all I've done so far!" said Trump.
Santa Has Installed New Anti-Drone Devices on His Sleigh This Year
"Those things drove me nuts last year, and no, I won't be giving any drones as gifts" said Santa.
Trump Wants to Restructure the Electoral College into the Electoral University
Trump becomes the third President to be head of a University, along with Eisenhower and Wilson.
Star Wars Attack of the Hemdroids
New Star War movie " Attack of the Hemdroids, " has millions lined up at the box office and Porta Potties with their light sabers?
Manchester United sack Mourinho!
The Special One has been sacked by Man United! Sir Alex Ferguson decided to boot him out because he fears he is better than himself and that is forbidden at Utd. Jose kicked a water bottle in anger!
#BreakingNews: President Barack Obama Admits That Donald Trump's Birther Certificate Is Authentic
Rowling to Break Out
Rowling begins new franchises marketing her own fashion label, plus birthday cards, greeting cards, calendars and jewelry based on her drawings. "It's for literature and our investors," she explained.
Jill Stein Petitions the Supreme Count for a Recount of Electoral College Vote
She cited irregularities in the voting and the fact that the delegates had been hacked by the Russians.
Rowling at Work on Two New Novels
An ounce of crap is crap. A ton of it is still crap.
But, if she keeps churning it out she will convince the sheeple for good that Potter emerged "fully formed" from her own teeming brain. It didn't.
What Makes a Radical?
Self-hatred leading to a need for an 'identity'.
What is "identity".
What is "ego"?
Conditioning + beliefs + self-delusions.
That's how you get a 'hero', a 'martyr', a tyrant.. an idiot.
If Jesus Were to Return...
He'd be given a Papal Knighthood by Pope Francis... and a gold watch... for services rendered to the Catholic Church.
Holiday tips from Santa!
When interviewed, Santa clause was quoted saying "Remember, if you're going to jingle then please jingle all the way". So remember folks, Santa doesn't like a half-assed jingler.
Russians Plant Fake News Story on The Spoof...
... and nobody noticed.
Trump Has to Go
"We wanted Hillary for president," say America's rich and powerful. "Somebody stuffed up. So Trump has to go. We will find a way. That is what democracy is all about."
Victoria's Secret Model Lost at Sea.
Said an eye witness: "During the shoot, her incredible bikini body was simply slapped by a mighty wave and she was swept out to sea like a broken match stick. We never saw her again."
The New GOP
Truth in advertising: Maybe the GOP ought to now stand for Grovelling Over Putin?
A young woman resembling doomed child Madeleine McCann has been spotted in Krasnoyarsk, Russia.
Parents to visit.
BBC to make documentary of their journey for worldwide distribution.
Geldof Condemns EEC
"It is ignoring the wishes of European citizens."
No kiddin' Bob?
Ever hear of the New World Order of which you are but a humble tool... as is your buddy Bono?
I was wondering if Luke Skywalker was instead named " Luke Piehawker, "in the new Star Wars movie " Attack of the Hemdroids? "
Aleppo and its irreplaceable relics is now reduced to rubble. 400,000+ dead, the vast majority civilians bombed in their sleep. Both sides claim 'victory'... whatever that might be.
Tomorrow Never Dies?
A U.S. drone " Hemdroid," was seized by Chinese in the South China Sea in international waters.England is sending James Bond to investigate on the HMS Devonshire?