Spoof news snippets from September 2015
There were 30 spoof news snippets published in September 2015. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Sheepshaggers fail to penetrate Chris the sheep!
Australian sheepshaggers desperate to penetrate Chris the sheep because of his abnormal size have failed because sheep-shearers saved Chris's virginity by shearing him, just in time!
US Cadets complete training with pillow fights!
West Point academy has hardened up its cadets by introducing pillow fighting as the final phase of training! ISIS cannot wait for the US Boys to arrive, they love featherweight headless chickens!
App porn cums out!
It seems as though porn apps are being misused because not only do the participants suck, they are also being sucked out of their money! Housewives giving secret head are now forcibly 'cumming out!'
Stand up Sir Rooney!
If this Scouse clown gets a knighthood I have decided to become an illegal immigrant and give my British passport to someone more deserving, Syrian maybe, because enough is enough!
Elton wants intimate meeting with Putin!
To discuss gay rights in Russia, Elton John, has requested to meet Putin in a private hotel on Hampstead Heath! Putin refused and told Elton to F himself, Elton replied, "I'd rather have you do that!"
Cameron had "sex with a pig"
Diane Abbot issues denial before reading whole story.
Niagara Falls discovered on Mars!
Martians have built a replica of Niagara Falls on Mars proving that they are very clever or love April Fools! For the answer ask NASA or Allah!
Hillary slams Clinton for Originating the "Obama Is A Muslim" Rumor
2015 Hillary Clinton blasted 2008 Hillary Clinton this afternoon for originating the rumor that President Obama is a Muslim.
Emperor Reminds Pope About Who is What
Emperor Barack I hosted Francis I at the palace. His Royal Egoist did grant that Francis is Pope of the Catholic Church but then reminded the pontiff that he, Barack, is the Pope of Leftist Fascism.
Bubba Clinton Clarifies His Position On the Email Scandal
Caught entering the Playboy Mansion, the former Pres was questioned about his involvement with the now burgeoning Email imbroglio. Bubba's response: "I did not have sex with that server!!!!"
Donald Trump to Appear on America's Got Talent
Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump announced today that he will appear on NBC's 'America's Got Talent' in the upcoming fall season.
Donald Trump fails to sign pledge not to run for King in 2016
Republican presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, announced Today that he has not signed a pledge not to run for King.
Drug Resistant Pubic lice Outbreak
Las Vegas NV; Pubic lice outbreak at Star Trek convention stumps sociologist....
Hungary Protests Against Refugee Influx
"What makes these ragtag nomads from Asia think that they can gallop all over Europe with impunity?" demanded Hungary's U.N. ambassador Attila D. Honeybun, as he steadied his horse and drew his bow.
Democrats finally have enough Senate votes to stifle Americans
Three Democrat senators announced today that they will vote in support of the nuclear deal with Iran. In a new CNN poll, 56% of Americans now say they think Congress should reject the deal.
New Human like Creature discovered.
A primitive ancestor thought to be a missing link between apes and modern man has been discovered. Scientists think it was both backward and reactionary in nature and have named it Homo Corbynosis.
John Boehner's Confession to Pope Francis
Pope Francis Hears John Boehner's Confession
Assigns Him and the Republican Party 400,000 Hail Marys and 83, 000 Our Fathers as Penance for Pissing on the Poor
Baltimore Mayor Announces Presidential Run
Baltimore Mayor, Democrat Stephanie Rawlings-Blake, will not seek re-election in 2016, but she announced that she will be seeking the office of President of the United States.
ITV announce new series of 'Love thy Neighbour'
Controversial sitcom about a white working class man and his black neighbour is to return this winter. "We feel that Eddie Booth, the bigoted socialist loudmouth would be a Corbynite" ITV said.
Obama Issues Exexutive Order To Make Americans Get Exactly What They Deserve
President Obama unveiled a plan to make federal agencies deliver services that Americans may not want or desire.
Buckingham Palace to Move to Australia.
Buckingham Palace is to move to Canberra, Australia. "Well, old boy", said Prince Philip. "If we lose Australia we lose everything. We are moving everything over there bit by bit, including the royal family."
A new book has just been released by Dr. Martin Boring that proves beyond doubt that Adolf Hitler was a conspiracy theorist.
Trump reveals his hidden child
'I may come across as, like, a total bastard, but I'm real needy, I'm like, the needster - I do needs better than any of the other candidates, I am 'The Special One' of Needs, like European Guy
Refugees Settle on Island of Lesbos
A boatload of Middle Eastern refugees has demanded permission to settle on the Greek island of Lesbos, rather than travel to the European mainland. "We will be model Lesbians!" they exclaimed.
Donald Trump urges focus on angry white men in Congressional White Caucus speech
Donald Trump pressed for a greater focus on helping angry white men who are more likely to be stuck in minimum wage jobs, have higher rates of illness and face higher rates of incarceration.
Shearings five Countries Explorer coach holidays very popular with Syrian refugees
Channel 4 considering new series of coach trip with 'mixed bag' of refugees slugging it out.
Hillary Clinton sparks outrage by claiming no Republican should be President
Hilary Clinton says the United States should not elect a Republican president, sparking outrage in the Republican party.
Miracle Win at Betfair!
Unconfirmed reports are coming in that a man in Hull, who wishes to remain anonymous, won ten quid on Betfair's Arcade Games. Betfair refuses to comment.
New Study Suggests Climate Change Causing Liberals and Conservatives to Evolve Differently
There has long been suspicion that liberals and conservatives are two distinct species, but this latest study seems to confirm that.
After Four Years of Failure, Obama Looks to Russia, North Korea and Iran for Help
When President Obama spoke at the United Nations Monday, he begged for cooperation with North Korea, Iran and Russia in an effort to end the Syrian civil war that has left the Middle East in ruin.