Spoof news snippets from November 2015
There were 44 spoof news snippets published in November 2015. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
A figment of a mad man's imagination or just fact?
There once was a Spoofer called Erskin Quint whose name gave a fellow spoofer a hint. Now the name belongs to a mercurial stud with an E and the rest is history!
Crocodile prison guards patrol Indonesian prisons!
Indonesia's latest way of controlling and reducing their prison population may seem slightly eccentric, but it works, as no living prisoners have been seen exiting or entering prisons since!
Ironically, he tends to wear shorts, so sales in the Jeremy Corbyn trouserpress are not likely to go up anytime soon.
Latest Hillary Texting Discoveries Reported
Recent Hillary recovered online texts show she was sexting with Uma Abadine during the Benghazi attack...guess the fire that killed Ambassador Stevens wasn't hot enough for her.
Benefit fraud jumped to £1.3billion a year last year! Which is just enough to pay for Iain Duncan Smiths breakfast
HUD proposes masturbation ban in public housing, citing dangers of warts
In an effort to reduce warts, the federal government is seeking to ban masturbation in all of the nation's 13.2 million public housing units.
U2 Cancel Paris Show.
In the wake of the terrorist attack U2 cancelled a planned show in Paris. "I tink the city has suffered enuff with out having Bono behaving like a gobshite on stage." Drummer Larry Mullen said.
Obama Vows to 'Redouble' Islamic State Fight After Paris
Opening two days of talks with world leaders in Turkey, Obama pledged to send an additional 50 troops to Syria, bringing the total US force to 100.
Emperor Lolls While Musing on Next Move
Emperor Barack I reclines in the royal hot tub with Queen of Sheba-Susan Rice, as they dream about blaming the deadly ISIS attacks in Paris on a video.Meanwhile, handmaiden Kerry slathers oil on both.
Anvil Shortage in USA
The Acme Anvil Company of Bangor, Maine, just can't keep up with demand.
"Some guy in the middle of the Arizona badlands just keeps ordering more and more. I wish we knew what he's doing with them!"
Jar Jar Binks to be in New Star Wars The Force Awakens
Luke wasn't the only hero hidden from the trailer. JJ Abrams confirms Jar Jar was left out also. Rumors surfaced that Jar Jar will be cloned millions of times in what will be the 2nd Clone Wars.
Obama Issues Executive Order Mandating That Ex-Cons Be Hired For All Federal Jobs
President Obama announced today that a new Executive Order has been issued, requiring that former convicts be hired for all federal government jobs.
V&A to display Corbyn's suit.
In spite of turning down Baroness Thatcher's clothes the V&A museum is to display a suit belonging to Jeremy Corbyn. "Corbyn's suit will illustrate the modern tramp, next to one of Chaplin's Costumes"
Obama Issues Executive Order, Renaming Political Parties
The Democratic party shall be referred to as "The Supreme Democratic Party", while the Republican party shall be called "The Repuglican Order of Christian Taliban Douche-bags".
When asked how much Zoe Ball might be paid if she accepted an offer to co-host Top Gear, her father Johnny said think of a number.
Mr Johnson, again
Now that the Labour leader election has been won, we can move onto more important things, like beating the conservatives says Boris Johnson.
Keith Chegwin is to have a new show on Radio Three - Cheggers plays Dvorak.
Alphabetically, the Daily Mail will always be on the far left of The Guardian, and The Independent.
According to the Daily Mail, the forthcoming yogurt apocalypse will be started by the seventy third series of Great British Bake Off.
Obama Faces Tough Battle In House To Pass KFC
President Obama now faces probably his toughest dining-room challenge since passage of mashed potatoes in 2009 - persuading Malia and/or Michelle to pass the fried chicken (KFC).
Obama Rejects Keystone XL, Then Issues Executive Order Mandating Keystone XXXL, Citing Political Climate Change
Immediately following the rejection of the Keystone XL pipeline, Obama issued an executive order, mandating the construction of the Keystone XXXL pipeline, citing recent political climate change.
Peers in the House of Lords believe young people are under pressure to act like porn stars. Agreed. People are always trying to do plumbing with no qualifications
Britain and France will work together in developing the next generation of missiles. Much like the old ones they'll primarily be used in hitting hospitals and schools by accident
"Utility" player Eric Dier is in the England squad. They call him a "Utility" player because he plays like a toilet.
A Liverpool fan snuck into the Merseyside derby by pretending he was disabled. Don't know why there's outrage half of Liverpool are normally running a disability scam
Get Me Back In
A mum laughed so hard at a Michael McIntyre gig she went into labour! Unsurprisingly upon arrival the baby demanded to go back in
Ben Carson's Syllogism
All politicians exist.
I am not a politician.
Therefore, I do not exist.
Zen Master Acquires iPhone, SIRI Attains Enlightenment
"I kept asking SIRI the same questions until it learned to abandon all preconceived notions and answer as a truly enlightened one would", explained Roshi Tawake-Sama.
Ben Carson Claimed He Masturbated as a Boy, But Can't Prove It
Dr. Ben Carson says he was prone to masturbating during his youth until he had a religious experience in the bathroom of his Detroit home.
Golfers To March Across America, Demanding Free Greens Fees
Golfers were set to walk off golf courses across the United States today to protest ballooning greens fees and rally for free golf balls.
USMC: Hillary a bitch
According to presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, the United States Marine Corps turned her down when she sought to enlist at age 27. "Maybe the dogs will take you," the recruiter suggested.
What the F*uck!!! Politics
There is a new leader of the SDLP - Clint Eastwood said "WTF, I had no Idea - it actually made my day" as the bemused Octogenarian dribbled onto a big hand gun.
Fishing for tiddlers
There may be plenty more fish in the sea, but following the Ashley Madison leak, far fewer people are willing to get their tackle out.
Jerry Bruckheimer Arrested After Shooting Pilot
Jerome Leon ("Jerry") Bruckheimer was arrested today after the FBI discovered that he had shot a pilot.
Obama to put 50,000 boots on the ground to combat 26 US State Governors
President Barack Hussein Obama announced today that he has authorized 25,000 troops to be deployed to 26 of the United States to enforce his decision to allow Syrian refugees to infiltrate the USA.
Australian National News Headlines...Monday.
Prince Andrew ate a hamburger while visiting Africa.
Australian National News Headlines...Tuesday.
Prince Andrew had onions on the burger he ate while visiting Africa.
Australian National News Headlines...Wednesday
Prince Andrew had French mustard on the burger he ate while visiting Africa.
SJW's Claim Black Friday to be a Racist Holiday
Critics accuse big corporate marketing of stereotyping black people as being cheap. Why does it have to be Black? Why can't the Friday be called Cheap Friday? Or Sales Friday? Or Good Friday?
Poutine Burns Turkey on Thanksgiving Day
"When Americans burn a turkey on this day, it's because they have gotten into the wine while the bird was in the oven. I burned Turkey with napalm today because I was 'pissed' in a different sense."
6,815 Americans die on Black Friday
Some 6,815 Americans died on Black Friday, which is the average daily number of deaths in the U.S. The difference: 6,754 of these deaths were blamed on crazy-ass shoppers trying to score a bargain.
Monsanto Claims Planet
MONSANTO food racketeers yesterday released genetically modified fish eggs into the Pacific. They now claim legal copyright on all the fish in all the oceans as well as all the crops on all lands.
Australian National News... Thursday
Prince Harry fell off his pony during a polo match in India. Luckily, no injuries were sustained. .... You think we are making it up, don't you?
Now We Know
The latest findings from Independent New Age Inquirer states that "not all psychiatrists are nuts. Some can function surprisingly well in normal society."