Spoof news snippets from Friday 30 May 2014
I put a spell on you.
Asda's England flag looks like a KKK costume....Tesco retaliate with BOGOF deal on fiery crosses, Sainsburys offer carrier bags with eye holes and the Co-Op merely closes early!
Tree says inflammatory thing
Simon Sycamore has been branded a snob today after declaring that he was the greatest tree in the land. He was well advised to remember his roots the next time he decided to open his big trunkhole.
Gossip: Man United sign 5000 new players!
Man United are signing 5000 new players according to the gossip columns; well they certainly need them!
Obamacare saves first life!
Convicted murderer on death-row in Texas was able to have kidney transplant thanks to the ACA.
King Kong Files Monster Lawsuit..
... demands new movie or a slice of the royalties from Godzilla.
Judge faints when grabbed up by big ape and kissed.
Kate's Bottom Snapped
Royal complaint at bare cheek of the press.
Defense Secretary Hagel Unavailable for Washington Duty As Personal Issues Keep Him at Home
GopherFart,Nebraska-Hagel returned home late Thursday in response to a major personal crisis. The septic tank serving his shack here backed up,producing more effluvia than even comes out of his mouth.