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True Facts From Snoops #619

According to Snoops: In recent NSA reports released to the public, the old black & white televisions were programed to keep an eye on your family and reporting it back to J. Edgar Hoover.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #531

According to Snoops: On his own birth certificate, Donald Trump's name is listed as "Donald Turnip".

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Pensioners Delighted At Cameron's Pension Pledge

'It's great news,' said a typical pensioner. 'We now need an anti-whinging law to shut those younger workers up.'

written by Swan Morrison, 05 January 2014
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2014 Super Bowl may be the most challenging in history

May as well get used to Global Cooling. See what they are wearing in Minnesota or Buffalo.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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"Face the Nation" celebrates 60th year on air

I thought that went off the air 20-30 years ago. Don't know anyone that watches it that I can name. Is Bonanza still on?

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Last Night on Earth

Visitor to Royal Observatory tweets "Since I had it re-set, my watch keeps good time."

written by Brent Scorn, 05 January 2014
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Romney accepts MSNBC host's apology

Even with one of President's guards holding her hand up behind her back.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Obama flies back to Washington - without Michelle

"Oh, she's still got her knickers in a wad over that Denmark Prime Minister", says friend who needs money.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Arctic birds seen in Florida

Florida reporting unusual low temperatures. Birds now eyeing equator islands.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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49ers, Packers brace for crazy cold.

49ers have been taking cold showers all week. Packers run in snow wearing jockey shorts.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Some States Confirm Water Pollution From Drilling, Tobacco

While parts of Idaho and western states show some pollution from fracking, Kentucky, Tennessee & West Virginia have mixture of used tobacco juice.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Plane lands on Bronx highway

Given the old Bronx Cheer by motorists scattering all over the highway!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Malware attack hits Yahoo users

I only went there once today so I should be OK. Bureau smells like a monkeys ass.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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NFL fined Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch $50,000 for not speaking to media throughout this season!

Pope Francis checking to see if Monks or Nuns guilty of this foul crime also!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Are We Losing Freedom of Non-Speech?

This week NFL fined Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch $50,000 for not speaking to media throughout this season!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Rift threatens atheist church

Apparently not all non-believers don't believe the same thing!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Global Warming Experts Hiding Out Till Spring

Record-breaking cold possible across two-thirds of the U.S. Cars froze to the ground. Several Global Warming experts caught by mad citizens and made to stick tongues to flag poles.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Cubans aghast at car prices as new law kicks in

Nine hundred dollars for a 1973 Ford Pinto? That's ridiculous!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Family Welcomes Rare Set of Siamese Cousins

"This could only happen in Arkansas", say two proud couples.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Obama gives first lady a few more days in Hawaii as part of her 50th birthday present

"She can have the whole week if she'll forget that Danish Prime Minister!"

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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U.S. breaker to help Russian, Chinese ships stuck in Antarctic ice

Al Gore still not seen now in several days. Reportedly, he is in "Protective Custody".

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Kerry: US will support Iraq, but without trollops

I'm sorry. That should have been: Kerry: US will support Iraq, but without troops!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Kerry says Israel, Palestinians making progress on peace 'puzzle'

"We have connected three pieces that were on one side", says Kerry.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Plane skids off runway into snow at NYC's JFK Airport; no injuries reported

Although several who skid out on emergency slide are going back in and sliding out again!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #678

According to Snoops: The most popular tree in the United States is the Popular Tree!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #779

According to Snoops: One way to discover if a bragging guy was ever in the armed services is to ask him if he's ever seen the movies, Spittoon" or "Searching For Ryan's Privates"?

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #047

According to Snoops: 98% of all main dishes in Switzerland have cheese in them. The other two percent, cheese topping is available!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #819

According to Snoops: One of Barnum & Bailey's biggest draws was a man with two penises but peed through his big toes, dead at age of 76.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Secret court approves three more months of spying for NSA

"After that, our satellites should be able to take over."

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Woman gives birth at WALMART.

Can't decide if she will call it Marty or Wally.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Actor Steven Seagal Considering Run For Arizona Governor. #2

"That's where all the money is today", according to Seagal.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Actor Steven Seagal Considering Run For Arizona Governor.

And if present Governor don't get a move on fast, he'll not be able to run against anybody!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Chris Christie Rushed to Hospital

Sorry. It turned out to be big turtle from the zoo named Chris Christie. Reporter claims he only got a glimpse.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Governors, Mayors from several states ask neighbors to check on neighbors during extreme cold!

But White House and Congress completely silent.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Nancy Pelosi Upset With Posters

Group say they will post how many patients dying from Obamacare.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Frustrated patients walk out of hospitals without treatment.

Catch planes for India or cross border into Mexico.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Update: Coast Guard Now trying to Free Trapped Ships in Ice

Lots of carbon footprints left from group who originally went there to protest Global Warming.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Man burns down house as he tries thawing frozen lines with hairblower

"Well, I did light a small fire", he admits. "Boy, we were all warm there for awhile!"

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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FROSTBITE in Minutes

Kids warned not to go out and play with Frosty the Snowman, no matter how much he dances or rude gestures he makes.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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RECORD Cold closes schools in midwest!

"Doors all frozen shut", says Governor of Ohio. "Bus doors also."

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Speaker of the House Boehner Tells Rest of Republicans to Shun Tea Partiers

"That Tea Party hooey is so over," spoke Speaker of the House John Boehner. "Everybody is hereby instructed to shun those bozos-they're even too crazy for us!"

written by Al N., 05 January 2014
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Don Everly to Continue as "Everly Brother"

Don Everly, on the death of his brother Phil, announced that he would continue touring as the 'Everly Brother.' "It should be easier to put on the marquee without the extra s, said Don.
RIP Phil.

written by Al N., 05 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #444

According to Snoops: The 'Macarena' dance craze was invented in Central America after a grounds keeper ran over a yellow jackets nest with a lawnmower!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #1010

According to Snoops: During the early '60's, The Andy Griffith Show scriptwriters were forced to leave out the term "Up & Down" by censors, even though it was about an elevator.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #1004

According to Snoops: The World's Tallest Midget was just under five-foot eleven inches tall!

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #622

According to Snoops: Mel Gibson is learning Hebrew! "I want to know what they're saying about me."

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #083

According to Snoops: The state of Kentucky got it's name from the Cherokee word, meaning "Kentucky".

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Let's Jail People For Being Fat

Provided the floor structures at jails and prisons would hold the weight.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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NYC Mayor de Blasio revels in role as 'man of the people'

I'm just a guy like most of you. I'll be out there with the white trash and the mentally ill just like one of the common people. "I-I-I am everyday people! Boom boom! Miss old Sly Stone."

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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Man's blood alcohol content too high for police to measure

"Let's just say he had more alcohol in his veins than blood", says arresting officer.

written by Bureau, 05 January 2014
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