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Rating:

Dad Needs to Slow Down Sometime.

Workaholic dad complains that he not only lays on the sidewalk wearing dark glasses, selling pencils all day, he slips out every night & plugs the heater or air conditioner into his neighbor's house.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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In North Korea, meth is offered as casually as a cup of tea #2

Every year the North Korean leader Kim, judges the ugliest meth user to roars of laughter.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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In North Korea, meth is offered as casually as a cup of tea

In fact, you can hardly taste the difference!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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Intelligence leakers pose 'critical threat' to U.S., say spy chiefs

According to voice that seemed to be coming from under the couch cushion.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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China looks to halt New Year's fireworks to curb air pollution

Last year the sky exploded for two hours after the fireworks had quit being launched.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #716

According to Snoops: The Titanic was cursed by an old gypsy woman after she had been discovered under the buffet table stuffing her face.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #125

According to Snoops: An ice cube left overnight in a glass of Coca-Cola will be completely gone by morning. Just think what that does to your stomach!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #451

According to Snoops: In NYC Bad Luck Ambulance #13 was retired after everyone who was rushed to hospital arrived dead, including driver and medic!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #223

According to Snoops: A group of PETA protesters sneaked into a Tyson chicken plant & hid in a big coop. Employees found them pecked to death this morning.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

McDonald's employee in Pittsburgh charged with selling heroin in Happy Meals from drive-thru

"We knew something was wrong when that stupid clown went streaking by the kids playground."

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

STUDY: Antioxidants Can Promote Lung Cancer.

Instead, doctors suggest lots of healthy drugs from drug companies. "Vitamins are evil!"

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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Scientists claim to have located the 'conscience'.

"They're the ones up and walking around, not the ones sleeping."

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #674

According to Snoops: The Toyota Yaris is not selling well in South America because Yaris in Spanish means, "This car will cause you to die in a horrible wreck leaving you without arms, legs or head".

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Bank Run Fears Escalate as Russian Lender Bans Cash Withdrawals.

Many people are stocking up on long shelf life foods!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

National Guard Hands Out Food Used For Soldiers.

"Woman in line: I had no idea our soldiers suffered like this."

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

COLD: 18,000 Super Bowl Tickets Still Available..

Flu shots will be available right there as you go through the gate!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #658

According to Snoops: Green is not an unlucky color for a used car..unless the green is algae.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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Finds Rattlesnake in Cola

Kentucky man may sue Coca-Cola after he says he found a rattle snake in his cola. "It slithered away but I heard it rattle. I guess it heard my knees rattle too. Shore was a biggun!"

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

President Obama Fires Congress, Will Go It Alone

In a startling message during his State of the Union message, President Obama announced that he is firing Congress and will henceforth govern the US by himself.Congress was too busy arguing to notice.

written by Al N., 29 January 2014
Rating:

Libya's Interior Minister escape assassination attempt

"Good thing I wasn't outside the Interior", says Minister.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Weiner Being Courted

Late Night comedians offer Anthony Weiner thousands of dollars to run for some kind of political office!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Syrian talks resume amid falling expectations

Since we had no expectations, how can it fall below that?

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

North Korea ramps up propaganda ahead of US-South Korea maneuvers

"We will cut off their heads and eat their brains! Other things much worse!"

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

China halts poultry trading after new H7N9 cases

Here we go again! How many have had shots for this strain?

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Snakebite victim charged $89,000 for 18-hour hospital stay

Looks like there are more snakes at the hospital than in the woods. Victim: At least Obamacare brought it down to $88,500!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #179

According to Snoops: A bird flying in your house is a sign that you are going to need a cleaning firm to clean the bird poop from your carpets and furniture while you go wash your clothes.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #450

According to Snoops: Some doughnut Stores place a small bit of cocaine to powdered doughnuts to keep the customers coming back over and over again!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #270

According to Snoops: Kansas man has operation to take a frog out of his stomach. He had apparently swallowed a tadpole while swimming. "If we hadn't gotten it out by next week, he would have croaked!"

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #611

According to Snoops: The Titanic was the first big boat to send an S.O.S. Before that, SOS meant "Same Old Sh*t" in the military mess halls.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

A Moment of Silence

Rand Paul says that if the United Staets debt climbs any higher, he will ask for a moment of silence for our grandchildren's future dying!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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OBAMA: 'America does not stand still -- and neither will I'

Who's standing still? We're falling through the floor with White House and Congress movements now.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Flatulent cows start fire at dairy farm.

Only one cow injured. Others asking farmer to add a drop of Beano in their food.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr team for Beatles tribute.

Overheard in audience of young people: "Ringo Starr? Wasn't he the guy who used to Quarterback the Cowboys?"

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Large testicles mean greater infidelity in couples, research finds

Also, they speak up at meetings, challenge leaders and die when kicked.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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#3 'Wearable' book allows reader to feel emotions of characters.

Those who have read Moby Dick panic around big white buildings. One arrested carrying harpoon.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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#2 'Wearable' book allows reader to feel emotions of characters.

Books on pornography flying off the shelf. Thousands of orders coming in.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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'Wearable' book allows reader to feel emotions of characters.

Reader of Stephen King now in mental establishment.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Turkish Prime Minister Delivers Speech as Hologram.

Not many listening when blip showed him upside down and sideways twice.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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COMPUTER: Seahawks will Beat Broncos 24-21.

Nostradamus disagreed. Wrote: "and a horse ridin' Pat-ton shall pull a bird fromm thee sea in the bowl of supers!"

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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Lebron, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade sing karaoke in Miami

"Just as long as they keep it in Miami", say most after listening at recording.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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Republicans ready to push 'legal status' for Illegals.

Ralph Nader says that he too would approve the status of all ill eagles!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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British spy chief buffeted by Snowden leaks will step down at year end.

Sends message to Snowden: "I'll come visit you one of these days."

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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Norwegian Lawmakers Nominate Snowden For Nobel Peace Prize.

After he'd already won the Benedict Arnold Award.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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N Dakota Man Is First American Arrested, Jailed With DRONE's Help.

"These drone things are nothing but squealers", he tells fellow inmates.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Pentagon Fears Chinese Military Advances Will Overtake USA's in 5 Years.#2

Doesn't really matter as any nuke war between any big countries would be handing it over to the cockroaches.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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Pentagon Fears Chinese Military Advances Will Overtake USA's in 5 Years.

Suggest that we may need to take them out now?

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
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50 school children stuck overnight on buses.

No one hurt but driver needs mental help!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Speaker of the House Boehner Suffers a Stroke?

Paramedics were called into the capitol last night to treat Speaker of the House John Boehner for a suspected stroke. It turns out the Speaker was diagnosed instead with DFS (Dour Face Syndrome).

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Mitch McConnell: Santa Screwed Up Again!

He's come and gone and never delivered the testicles he had promised the GOP! "Maybe the Easter Bunny", stated a hopeful Mitch!

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Al Gore Spotted at Barnes & Noble

Caught reading book, "Becoming President for Dummies". I see it all now. I was too Smart to be elected!"

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Spaceship Lands in Washington DC

Aliens tell officials there that they had heard that on earth they could get free insurance in the United States.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Red Green Accidentally Cuts Off Weiner #2

Uses duct tape to put i back on. "I'll add some crazy glue and it'll not only be fine but bigger!"

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
Rating:

Red Green Accidentally Cuts Off Weiner

I'm sorry I cut you off, Mr. Weiner. Also that you lost that politically race. Come visit the Lodge some time.

written by Bureau, 29 January 2014
« Dec 2013 January 2014 Feb 2014 »
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2nd
57
3rd
77
4th
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5th
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6th
62
7th
46
8th
66
9th
76
10th
48
11th
39
12th
43
13th
51
14th
12
15th
26
16th
47
17th
38
18th
66
19th
39
20th
69
21st
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22nd
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23rd
73
24th
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25th
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26th
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27th
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