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Police conduct second search of Justin Bieber's home for evidence in an egg-throwing vandalism scandal.

Judge threw out the first case after five minutes when proof offered was a carton of eggs found in Bieber's refrigerator.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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A new study found that more than 11 million people have quit Facebook in the last three years.

Some adults are taking classes on how to talk to people face to face once again.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Security taking No chances at Super Bowl!

"We have 500-mile security lined up all around game and checking everyone's communications of all kinds every two minutes", say NSA. "Forget about calling mother that weekend."

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Country star in Trouble

Trace Adkins was on a country music-themed cruise when he got into a fight with a Trace Adkins impersonator. He left to check himself into rehab and found the same guy there. Now he's really pissed.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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A-Rod In Trouble

Yankees A-Rod is suing everybody in baseball, and meanwhile he is terribly out of shape. He can't hold up his head. He's not embarrassed about the doping. His head is just too heavy to hold up.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Marijuana Has Broncos More Relaxed

"Pssssst. Wake Manning up or call a timeout", guard tells center. Hey! I said..."

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Denver More Laid Back

After marijuana legalized, Denver Broncos are having trouble getting excited about New England game. "I hope we at least tie", says Manning.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Washington Audience Studded aftr Michelle's 50th Celebration!

"Somewhere in that crowd waited until Michelle got up there and yelled, "I don't know nothing about birthing no babies!"

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #169

According to Snoops: While Stephen King sets many of his stories in Maine, he himself is more frightened of Florida Circus Clowns at Barnum & Bailey!

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #690

According to Snoops: Joe Radisho of the K.C.Chiefs became the first NFL player to perform an "end zone dance" when he got a wasp down his pants just after crossing the goal line December 1, 1973.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
Rating:

STUDY: Sunlight Lowers Blood Pressure.

Or if you are stuck in the north, put on Jimmy Buffet and bring out the Margaritas.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Cash for Kidneys Stores Opening Everywhere

Usually located near package stores, pot stores and casinos.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Leahy warns government could control American people.

I think it already does, but as Sam Cooke once sang, "A change is gonna come!".

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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CLAIM: Smoking during pregnancy increases chances of child being gay.

Oh it does not, you big silly thing!

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Obama Says Racial Animus Blunts Approval.

Rand Paul: You can't sit on your 'animus maximus' and let hard working people support those who won't work.!

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
Rating:

How To Tell The Difference Between Diamond And Cubic Zirconia

The most scientific way to tell the difference of the natural diamond and the man-made imposter is to stomp it as hard as you can! (Warning: Hard stomps call lock your bowels, or so we've heard)

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #883

According to Snoops: In the original DC Comics, "The Flash" was first known as "Trenchcoat Man"!

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #633

According to Snoops: Fort Knox, Kentucky was once called "Camp Knox" back when it had all the gold we once had.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #600

According to Snoops: A "Doughnut Hole" is actually only a small round piece of dough. Else, why would so many fans of these weigh 300 pounds? You can't trick us!

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #540

According to Snoops: Contrary to reports, the 1960s hippies could get violent and beat up a person wearing a ""Free The Indianapolis 500" button because he was spoofing them!

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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West Virginia water woes continue as tests reveal more contamination

"Nothing to do with us", says Chemical Plant. "We declared bankruptcy Friday. Just keep after FEMA people. They brought us enough for a month. Chemicals could hang on indefinitely."

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Judge strikes down photo ID requirement for Pa. voters

But still rejects pencil drawings as he says those could be faked.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Syrian opposition to name delegation for talks

But first they have to have time to see who is still alive or able to attend.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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'Brutally cold': Arctic blast returns

"Yet another cold mare's ass coming down from Canada...." begins rookie weather lady in Tennessee, before turning red and fleeing the building.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Senate Intelligence Committee head concerned about possible change in NSA data storage

Head spoke directly from Cryonics Center in Alaska. "Talk to the Head" sign below button.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Coal Miner in West Virginia Find Time Machine

"Skeleton found inside. "Guess he came out in the wrong place", says one miner. "I guess we shouldn't have pushed buttons because it disappeared in a cloud of coal!"

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Putin: Russia must cleanse itself of homosexuality

"Then and only then will we begin on other undesirables!"

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Late Night Sales Spokesman offers One Amazing Product Free #4

"You get our Melon Juicer plus amazing pie making machine for ticket to Playoff games."

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Prostitute from Las vegas Offers Selected Favors for Play-off tickets #3

Small booklet worth $500 in trade plus free air fare from certain small airports.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Foreigner offers to trade secret for playoff tickets.#2

Guy overseas will trade you the secret way to add two inches to your penis.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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Doctor offers to trade vasectomy for playoff tickets.

Guy from Denver offering a dozen of fresh rolled 'cigarettes'.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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American troops may return to Middle East, East to train Iraqis, Vietnamese.

"It's the only sporting thing to do", says VP Biden. "I think we need to train the Native Americans."

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
Rating:

Second Amendment Rewrite

A heavily armed Citizenry, being useful to the paranoia of the Fringe Right, the right of children to keep and bear arms, for the purpose of shooting other children, shall be Sacrosanct.

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 19 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #149

According to Snoops: It was Rasputin, the Mad Monk, who invented the fruitcake!

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #306

According to Snoops: At most supermarkets, you will find that the man in charge is usually a big "Breast Man"!

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #768

According to Snoops: Chubby Checker says he has invented a new dance called the Transylvania Twerk using your teeth instead of your tongue!

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #922

According to Snoops: The Great White Whale was actually in love from the first time she heard "Thar She Blows!" She kept after him until she got him!

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
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In Keeping Grip on Data Pipeline, Obama Does Little to Reassure Industry

Private industry say they intend to keep their own "tabs" on the US Government.

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
Rating:

Madonna Apologizes For Using N-Word.

Michelle, Oprah, Whoopi apologize for using the "S" word!

written by Bureau, 19 January 2014
« Dec 2013 January 2014 Feb 2014 »
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2nd
57
3rd
77
4th
46
5th
50
6th
62
7th
46
8th
66
9th
76
10th
48
11th
39
12th
43
13th
51
14th
12
15th
26
16th
47
17th
38
18th
66
19th
39
20th
69
21st
50
22nd
56
23rd
73
24th
66
25th
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26th
77
27th
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29th
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31st
45
 

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