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Bernie Ecclestone steps down from F.1 board and wears built up shoes instead

Bernie Ecclestone has again stepped down from the board provided for him to see over the table top at F.1 claiming he is taller than 4 ft. 1 and high heels will enable him to see over the table.

written by Auntie Jean, 16 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #661

According to Snoops: If the babys heart rate is above 140 bpm, it is said that the baby will be a girl. If it is under 140 bpm, then it will be a boy. Also, check for a small spout in front.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Dropping corn prices have US farmers looking to soy

Also still asking that hemp be legalized.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Pot debates continue even where it's legal

Three deaths and seven other injuries from people who suddenly think they can fly.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Looking to Date Older Singles?

We have over 500 older people with money who could croak at any time!

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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First Time, Hackers Have Used A Refrigerator

Vice President Joe Biden: "They're cold cold hearted, these hackers!"

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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De Blasio: NYC needs 'many more' cameras.

Especially at mayor's office and around the police department and doughnut shops around town.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #811

According to Snoops: Most Anthropologists now believe that the statues on Easter Island evolved!

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #070

According to Snoops: Many believe that, should anything happen to the President, the V. P. would become President. But in truth, it's all according to actually WHAT has happened to the President.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #977

According to Snoops: The color of grass is green because that the reflection of the sun to our eyes. Except in parts of Kentucky, where our eyes see blue.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #1017

According to Snoops: Some pearl divers can stay under water for 5 or 6 minutes. However, after so far down, they cannot fart.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Tons of horse dung dumped outside French parliament

"But no nearly as much as there are inside the place", says one dumper!

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Texas Rhino Hunt Auction Winner Fears for Safety

Good! Now you know how the rhino feels!

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Bernanke reflects on the crisis, recovery and the tough job of explaining it all to Main Street

"Maybe I'll just keep making it all up so there's no big panic, just small ones."

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Wildfire burns out of control near Southern Calif. homes

Above headlines repeated more in 2013 than anything else except the word "ObamaCare"!

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Rwandan peacekeepers arrive in Central African Republic

Central African Republic send peacekeepers to Congo. Congo sends peacekeepers to Rwanda.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Beijing Air Pollution At Dangerously High Levels

Calling Greenpeace! Calling Al Gore! THIS is where a LOT of our pollution on planet earth keeps coming from! Why are you not speaking out?

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
Rating:

Egypt Prosecutors Question Al-Jazeera Journalists

"Please stand up, remove your clothing and spread your cheeks!"

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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W. Va. declares water safe for some

Still we can't quite know which ones are and aren't. But it's a start!

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
Rating:

Japan scientists test tether to clear up space junk

"Without all the junk helping to block the sun's rays, the earth will get hotter", warns Al Gore.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
Rating:

Parents outraged over classroom poster that lists sex acts.

No Ten Commandments but all the Kuma Sutra is fine! "Some students are checking them off", says one disgusted teacher.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Asset manager warns of coming global income redistribution.

"A chicken in every pot, some pot in every kitchen, an old beat up chevy in every garage."

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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208 CEOs endorse call for amnesty, visas for 'lower-skilled workers'..

The rest of us can live off China, Japan and others we owe!

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Hospital on Hunt After Mix-Up With HIV Test.

Whoops! We just killed about 100,000 people. We apologize in advance. Everybody makes a mistake now and then.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Robots to Build Homes on Moon?

How about we loan them to Jimmy Carter first and let them build a few million here on earth?

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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STUDY: Cats Think Owners Are -- Just Another Big Cat!

I disagree. They know a cat wouldn't build weapons to destroy all life on earth.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Woman Duped Out Of $500K By Nigerian Man She Met On ChristianMingle.com...

Conservatives in Washington: Same thing here, lady. Join the club!"

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
Rating:

MCDONALD'S Customers Frustrated By Elderly Patrons Who Sit In Restaurant All Day.

"We buy coffee and we eat breakfast and sometimes lunch to if we stay long enough", say elderly. "We are customers more regular than any others."

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Naked woman wearing only angel wings arrested.

Interviews with witnesses summed up by: Women: she had these gret big wings on her. Men: What wings? I know she was naked.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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State lawmakers press to kill Oregon's troubled health exchange.

"Obamacare may have been a good idea but putting it into practice needs to be done a little at a time, if at all", says Governor.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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MYSTERY: Young Pelicans Found Starving In Florida Keys In Disturbing Numbers.

Authorities say that the recent record low temperatures may have something to do with it.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Fertility clinic worker replaced customer's sperm -- with his own!

Clinic became suspicious after seeing so many newborn babies with buck teeth, crossed eyes!

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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State lawmakers press to kill Oregon's troubled health exchange.

"We're tired of losing our best doctors, health workers over spending most of their time filling out government papers", says one. "Also patients will have to get clearance for operations needed now!"

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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STUDY: More Than 11 Million Young People Fled FACEBOOK Since '11.

How in the world are they going to know how someone's great grandfather Elmo looked like when he was in diapers?

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Meryl Streep Nominated -- Again!

This time it's for playing the role of an actress who wins all the Oscars every year!

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Norwegian bay froze so quickly -- fish swimming in it froze solid!

Fishermen cutting out large chunks of preserved fish and cooking, selling them. Frogs frozen as they jump in. Man using mower to cut off frog legs?

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Protesters used drone to spy on senator.

"What's good for the goose is good for the gander!" Will near future be filled with drones?

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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'We have an ability to do essentially anything technologically'.

Essentially anything? How about bringing world peace, food and clean water for everyone. decent housing! Well, let's get going.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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NYT: Obama's Path From Critic to Overseer of Spying.

Following the secret paths of Richard Nixon, J. Edgar Hoover?

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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MAG: Hillary Clinton Discussed U.S. Approval of an Israeli Strike On Iran.

Many Democrats are saying "We elected the wrong person!".

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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CHINA Holding more of U.S. Debt!

Maybe if we can borrow enough we can bankrupt them! If we ever go into default, so will the whole world it appears.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Senior British advisor: Obama 'incapable,' 'crazy'.

"Those of course, are his better qualities. Once more U.S. losing another longtime friend.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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Obama to Dems: I'll act with or without Congress

So the Supreme Court will strike many down? This means we'll get nothing done as usual. We do not have a dictator!

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
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American and Canadian Forces to Combine to Capture Justin Bieber

The United States, which recently suffered an atomic egg act of terror at the hands of Canadian pop star Justin Bieber, announced today it would combine forces with Canada to bring Bieber to justice.

written by Al N., 16 January 2014
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Millions deprived of Chinese Food due to forgetting about Chinese New Year

Statistics from Bejing Ministry for Chinese Food Carry Outs show that people who are supposed to bring Chinese food back from a night out with the fellas are forgetting about the Chinese New Year!

written by Auntie Jean, 16 January 2014
Rating:

Christie bridge scandal widens

And so does Christie as he eats out of frustration!

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
Rating:

Dear Abby: Angry Dad Wants To Learn How To Control His Emotions

The thing I heartily recommend is at least a partial lobotomy. That should make you a whole lot happier.

written by Bureau, 16 January 2014
« Dec 2013 January 2014 Feb 2014 »
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