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Rating:

Floods of Tears

I got close to the floods so I could send photos to the media because they asked for pics, but ended up in tears.

written by j.w., 10 January 2014
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Into the breach: Target data heist hit up to 110 million victims

Which goes all the way back to Minneapolis, Minnesota in 1902!

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #608

According to Snoops: After you die, your stomach keeps growing for at least six months. Which explains all those loud blasts people hear when taking a shortcut through the cemetery at night!

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #1177

According to Snoops: The crap from the commode that Elvis was sitting on when he died has sold on eBay for $100,000.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #178

According to Snoops: Buffalo Bill Cody's real name was Bill Bison.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #113

According to Snoops: In some southern states in the USA it is still against the law to call hogs anything but "Suey" & "Pig!"

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Producers Attack Critics over naked women on the screen!

"Without naked women on the screen, half of the audience wouldn't show up. I don't care if it's about the Little Engine That Could. You place a naked woman on the caboose!"

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Barbie to Become Disney Princess

Barbie announced today that she will be joining the Disney group as their newest princess. She said she was looking forward to sharing clothes and dream houses with the other princesses.

written by Al N., 10 January 2014
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NSA To Stop Monitoring Kardashians

The National Security Agency, which has been eavesdropping on American phone conversations since the Bush administration, announced today it would stop monitoring the Kardashians due to stupidity.

written by Al N., 10 January 2014
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Jerry Sandusky Wants Pension Back So He Can Buy Candy for the Warden's Kids

Convicted serial child molester Jerry Sandusky tried to get back the Penn State pension he lost when he got sent to the State Pen. He says he would use it to buy candy for the warden's children.

written by Al N., 10 January 2014
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Obamacare website contractor dropped

White House says that just because President has been hacked, it doesn't mean anyone else has been. (Yes it does. hee hee).

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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Target hack worse than thought: Save yourself

Here's how: "When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout!" That way you will not be responsible because of mental illness!

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Ancient Greeks Used Portable Grills at Their Picnics

Go after George Foreman for stealing Greek origins.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Russian Orthodox Church under fire over Stalin calendar

"But he sent so many million people into the next life", they argue.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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UK, US were 'malign' force in Iran: Straw

Yep! Every bit of the world's troubles are caused by the U.S. and Britain. Poor Iran just one of it's many victims.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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Three-wheel $6,800 car gears for 2015 US launch

Photo looks much like the wooden wagons we used to build to ride in only this one can go up hill also.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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Tracking Device Keeps Tabs on Children.#2

Several sent back home for "Moo-ing" in class!

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Tracking Device Keeps Tabs on Children.

Just tell them that the ear tag is all the new rage in piercings!

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

SURVEY: 70% of Adults Suffer From 'Digital Eye Strain'# 2

Degenerate Ice Cream? How can we suffer from degenerate ice cream?

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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SURVEY: 70% of Adults Suffer From 'Digital Eye Strain'.

"Martha! It says that 70 percent of us suffer from something. I can't make it out!"

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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Military Channel to Drop 'Military' from Name.

Many predict "Channel" Channel to go off the screen in about a month.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

FBI Sending Agents to Help Secure Olympics

Also, 5,000 bomb-sniffing dogs and their trainers.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Russia: Small incident won't hurt Olympics!

After over 100 bombs discovered in locker rooms.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

OLYMPICS: Security alert in southern Russia as bodies found in bomb-rigged cars.

Participants around the world receiving anonymous letters, e-mails.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

TARGET data breach much broader than initially reported.

Private companies are catching the Governments tactics to release a little evidence at a time! "President's poll numbers were understated last month but only by 10%". (39-10= 29%)

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

SHOWDOWN: Will 'DUCK DYNASTY' Spoil 'IDOL' Relaunch?

Or is Gilligan's Island rerun going to trump them both?

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Knock Out Artist Knocked Out

"It was a complete accident", says arresting cop. "I tried to lower his head when placing him in the car but he jerked."

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Transgender Teen Charged With Battery After Fighting Back Against Bullies.

I had to change my sex to do it but it was worth beating the tar out of those bullies!

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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Teen arrested for videotaped 'knockout' attack on elderly woman.

People who invented the video game "Knock Out An Old Woman" say they had nothing to do with all this.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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NAT GEO Announces Live Space Special.

What does it feel like crossing the country in a helium balloon lawn chair?

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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BOEHNER: Where are the jobs?

White House: We're creating them as fast as possible. Look, we just invented running around each states capitol looking for terrorists!

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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LENO: 'Now That Christie Is Denying Everything He Sounds Even More Presidential'

"He needs to get in front of a mirror and practice saying, "It's not my fault!"

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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1,500 people camp out for chance to apply for job.

"Can't depend on the government keeping us on jobless benefits indefinitely", says one. "Although the White House seems determined."

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Job growth slumps!

Employment centers tell clients to straighten up.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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WSJ: Compared to using IRS against political opponents, closing traffic lanes is jaywalking.

"or being stopped for a tail light out, running a quick changing yellow light, driving 5 MPH over the speed limit... OK OK! We get it!!

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

People Playing Jokes During Snowstorm

Police advise jokers to quit placing white chalk dogs and cats outside so they would quit getting so many calls about animal cruelty.

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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Seattle Police: Off-Duty Officers Work Pot Shop Security

Which in turn has increased donut shop sales exponentially.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 10 January 2014
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Scientists: Americans Becoming Weather Wimps

Fat, stupid, weather wimps.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Polar Vortex Proves Global Warming Hoax

The Rev. Danny Dumb-end times hopeful and climate change denier-said that today. When scientists pointed to unusual heat as the basis for the vortex he said "I'm sick of them stating the facts."

written by Keith Shirey, 10 January 2014
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I'm Not A Bully Says Chris Christie

He said this at today's news conference. Afterwards a loan woman teacher asked him about his cutting $1B from ed funds. He screamed at her "you're a failure factory worker" as he spit saliva.

written by Keith Shirey, 10 January 2014
Rating:

2014 Midterm Elections Seem Dim for Sen. Lindsey Graham

SC Senator Lindsey Graham (R)is having a dismal future in 2014 election cycle. His supporters are leaving in droves after it was found out that he was voting Democrat on most bills in the Senate.

written by Heeke, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Shortage of Velveeta Cheese Blamed on Nancy Pelosi (D)

Kraft admitted to a shortage of Velveeta Cheese products because one of the ingredients is used in Botox. Nancy Pelosi (D) demanded Kraft give her Drs. that ingredient for her Botox injections.

written by Heeke, 10 January 2014
Rating:

MYSTERY: Dead Cows Wash Up on Beaches.

Many are asking the Police: Is this the work of Jack The Tipper?

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
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REPORT: 74% of U.S. Afghan Casualties Came After Obama Ordered Troops Increased.

What happened to all the protesters, hypocrites?

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Security alert in southern Russia as bodies found in bomb-rigged cars.

Winter Olympics may have to cancel if security suspect!

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Rodman Asks Kim If They Can Leave Now

Kim says him wants him to watch cartoons brought with him. "We gat everybody on floor and laugh at Bugs Rabbit,"

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

N. Koreas Kim May be Smarter Than He Looks

Not only can he clap his hands but he can also stamp his feet. Also, Kicked Rodman in the ass. That's pretty high. Rodman can't do a thing. "I wanna go home now,"

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
Rating:

Kim Says Rodman Like A Member of the Family

"Of course, I had them all fed to the dogs!" (Claps Hands Again like a trained seal).

written by Bureau, 10 January 2014
« Dec 2013 January 2014 Feb 2014 »
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41
2nd
57
3rd
77
4th
46
5th
50
6th
62
7th
46
8th
66
9th
76
10th
48
11th
39
12th
43
13th
51
14th
12
15th
26
16th
47
17th
38
18th
66
19th
39
20th
69
21st
50
22nd
56
23rd
73
24th
66
25th
52
26th
77
27th
48
28th
47
29th
53
30th
46
31st
45
 

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