Order by:
Rating:

N.J. mom: School bus left my 5-year-old at wrong stop ... again

This is the third time this month according to mother. There are no houses there. Why is she doing this?

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Ex-IRS Official Lois Lerner States Demands to be Met Prior to Testifying

Lerner says she'll testify before Issa's House Committee only if: she is exempted from paying income tax; she gets to date Justin Bieber; and she is appointed as Obama's new ambassador to Xanadu.

written by Trinculoman, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Great-grandpa takes home wrong kid from school, angering parents

"Well they all look alike in those get-ups. I guess that was what all the fuss was about when we left."

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Could sharks help predict hurricanes?

Maybe, maybe not! But who's going to get close enough to check them out?

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Wintry weather returns to U.S. Midwest, Northeast with a vengeance

"Yoohoo! Guess who's back? Your old friend, Mister Polar Vortex Himself!"

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #617

Snoops: Dizzy Dean the great pitcher for St. Louis, got his nickname from small bottles of Scotch he hid about his person. Also, screaming was aloud back then. He'd scream & fall, confusing batters.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #600

Snoops: Giant anteaters are sometimes called "Ant Bears". This offends both groups.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #903

Snoops: In some cultures people believe that it's good luck to cross your fingers. In others, they think you are about to lie!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #552

Snoops: Many people in the southern states of America think that "the hat trick" in Hockey is when a player pockets the puck and takes out a hat from which he pulls out a rabbit!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #729

Snoops: The flightless Emu can run over 40 MPH and right over a small car and stop to peck the glasses out!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #728

Snoops: The Lethasaurus were three feet long, had high knees, seven toes on each foot and was brown. This is according to a Professor Ellsworth of Australia who discovered a tooth last week.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #177

Snoops: Whip-O-Will babies emerge ten dys before a full moon...stark naked!!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Pollution, Smog Making China Have A Nuclear Winter!

"Soon we won't be able to see how to get around, grow anything, no season warming for fruit trees", say invisible people.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

NASA discovers 715 planets

All I know is that they weren't there yesterday", says supervisor!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Texas ban on same-sex marriage struck down

"Good", says one gay male. "We had already tied the knot and on the floor!"

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Today in 1952!

Prime Minister Winston Churchill announced that Britain had developed its own atomic bomb. British Citizens: WE HEARD! WE HEARD!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

On This Date in 1815

Napoleon Bonaparte escaped from exile on the Island of Elba. He told his men later, "I just had to have some more Elba room!"

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Supreme Court expands police authority to search homes.

Citizens Group: Are we allowed to search police before they bring something in?

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

1,000 people show up for 50 jobs in Atlantic City.

White House Spin: We have already created 50 jobs in Atlantic City!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

POLL: Uninsured opposition reaches all-time high.

Poll: Insured opposition reaches all-time low! Those in between say they are at all-time middling!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Court orders removal of anti-Islamic film.

Only anti-Christian movies are allowed around here!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Samsung's new Galaxy phone

Samsung have announced that the new Galaxy phone will be called the SV and not the S5 as it looks too much like the SS.

written by IainB, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #726

Snoops: Many monkeys like to build a big nest in a tree to sleep in. That's how anthropologists know they were descendents of birds.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #750

Snoops: Many big brown bears are called grizzly bears, among other things, by those who have had his tent destroyed and all their food eaten! Most of them I can not print here.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #446

Snoops: While monkey wrenches are used As a tool, monkey wenchies are used By a tool!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #838

Snoops: The Goliath Bird-Eating Spider is as big as a dinner plate. The only humans that they have killed have all died from heart attacks!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #089

Snoops: A football stadium could half a billion goldfish, provided is was full of water. Without water, maybe three billion.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Americans Upset Over Miley Cyrus

She refused to go to Russia for Olympics although she was a shoo-in for the Gold Medal in the Airhead competition!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Rob Ford and Marion Barry to Have Joint Party

Toronto mayor Rob Ford and Washington, DC former mayor Marion Barry announced that they will be hosting a party together, in a show of unity for crack-smoking mayors. BYOD-Bring Your Own Drugs.

written by Al N., 26 February 2014
Rating:

City caps sewer of woman fighting to live 'off the grid'

So the city only wants all the homeless people off the grid? Numbers are going up every day.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Obama makes it official: U.S. planning for full Afghan withdrawal

So it's official that "Beginning to pull" at time of running for President and actual fulfilling take approximately six years. WWII didn't last that long!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

'Pure evil': City caps sewer of woman fighting to live 'off the grid'

"I'm staying here" she tells reporters. "A lot of burning poo on city doorsteps not my doing should kids think about it. I say, a lot of burning poo on doorsteps should kids think about it."

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #970

Snoops: Smokey The Bear was originally called "Hotfoot Hairy".

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #900

Snoops: baloo from The Jungle Book is the only singing bear that's been confirmed by linguists.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #735

Snoops: The Mozambique Spitting Viper sprays its prey with a powerful blinding venom. Many kill themselves by forgetting and spitting against the wind!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #181

Snoops: After counting several times by actuaries Pez has twelve pieces of candy in "Pez 12".

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #792

Snoops: Some older people usually dance "The Robot". "It's a lot easier with all our stiff joints!"

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Michelle O Pushing Ban on Junk Food Advertising in Schools #2

Then I guess the Girl Scout cookies will be banned also?

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Michelle O Pushing Ban on Junk Food Advertising in Schools.

Advertisers say they will place huge billboards along school bus routes. Cut off all donations to schools.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

CNN Numbers Tumble.

MSNBC numbers bust their ass. Number of people even watching TV now that football is over, sliding dangerously toward the brink!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

IRS Warns: ObamaCare Tax must be paid.

Now we're beginning to hear the word "tax" added to the goofy Care program.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Florida Dem: Without immigration bill, who will clean our hotel rooms and landscape our lawns?

YOU will, Mr. Moneybucks. Or else you can sell out and move to another country where slavery is legal.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

First contagious WiFi computer virus goes airborne, spreads like the common cold

Dinky poopee could catch it from this dinky poopee snippet!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Turkey PM vows action against 'fake' leaked recordings.

Others say Snowden has many fake reports to release.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Golden Gate Bridge hits milestone in 2013 with 46 suicides...

That puts them five ahead of the Brooklyn Bridge and sets a record. White House congratulates accomplishment.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Hollywood Bar Bans Anti-Gay Lawmakers.

States: Then we don't have to bring in any of your movies!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Egypt's military announces cure for AIDS.

Military? I guess their solution is lining people up and shooting them? That will cure flu also.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Arizona warned you will lose the Super Bowl

Anti gay proposal may be passed in other states.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Arizona warned that they will lose the Super Bowl

If laws against gays passed. Owner, we weren't really counting on even making it to the Super Bowl!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Ukraine Vows to Protect Bank Deposits..

One guard told our reporter that there was nothing in there to protect but they would go through the motions.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #156

Snoops: Hibernating bears do not even go to the bathroom but in the Spring, if one comes tearing out of their caves to get to the woods, better not get in their way!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #443

Snoops: Monkeys make faces when they play together. No one knows what they do with the faces they make but they will stomp on any you try to collect. Theory: What you look like to them!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #817

Snoops: Tapeworms can grow up to 25-30 feet long inside your intestines. You can get these things by eating worms. So, whatever you do, do not eat worms!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #817

Snoops: Tapeworms can grow up to 25-30 feet long inside your intestines. You can get these things by eating worms. So, whatever you do, do not eat worms!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #144

Snoops: When asked to name a number between one and twenty, most people choose 17 except in West Virginia where they choose "C".

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #817

Snoops: The ancient Greeks thought men could turn into bears and, for that matter, today's women do also!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Coldplay debut new track 'Midnight'

It comes from their new album 'Paint Drying' that they promise is as bland as the title suggests and won't upset anyone.

written by John_L, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Six million wild pigs roaming the U.S. and still counting....

as yet, no greased pig contest has been planned to round them up!

written by Wumf, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Grass fed cattle are extinct in California...

no grass left!

written by Wumf, 26 February 2014
Rating:

4.4-billion-year-old zircon crystal fragment is oldest piece of Earth ever found

Immediate argument by professor who says it's only 4.3 billion years old. Fist fight follows. Cops won't show up.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Fender bender in Las Vegas? Forget calling the police. They're not coming. #4

If they won't come, tell them you have an underage hooker in each car and they have called their pimps. Beat on a garbage can or trash can in the background.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Fender bender in Las Vegas? Forget calling the police. They're not coming. #3

If that doesn't work, pull or push one or two of the cars blocking the Strip with huge back-up.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Fender bender in Las Vegas? Forget calling the police. They're not coming.#2

If they don't come, call back in and tell them you're one of you is gay and the other is screaming the "F" word!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Fender bender in Las Vegas? Forget calling the police. They're not coming.

Then you and guy you ran into radio in and tell them you gonna kill each other and fake a fight.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

U.S. troops out of Afghanistan this year?

That would be six years since we were promised by someone we all know said they would be brought home!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

UAE Islamic affairs authority warns Muslims against a mission to Mars

Good! Let's all have a bag packed in case we need to leave in a hurry!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

Castle owner survives shot to head

Dr. Frankenstein says he has a headache and a bolt through his neck but otherwise, he was doing fine.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
Rating:

U.S Happy About Medals

But they blame President for allowing those illegal aliens to get on their team!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
« Jan 2014 February 2014 Mar 2014 »
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8th
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10th
75
11th
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77
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48
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66
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81
18th
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19th
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