Order by:
Rating:

Vice President Biden Wows French President with His Charming Candor

At the WH French State dinner, VP Biden clearly impressed French Pres Hollande with his refreshing charm. Joe proclaimed: "Ay, Froggie, yer frankish airpots ain't no where near as filthy as our'n!"

written by Trinculoman, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Culinary Crisis at White House Prompts Marine Sortie

WH Chef Tali Lapia found no L'escargots for the French state dinner this eve, so Obama issued an executive order for Marines to go out and procure as many slimy critters on Capitol Hill as you can!

written by Trinculoman, 11 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #783

According to Snoops: Frog feet were actually called Pedal Pushers until drug pushers came along and companies wanted their name to be more favorable.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #691

According to Snoops: In the 1954, over 500 children had an eye put out after running with scissors! That was before the national warnings and billboards!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #643

According to Snoops: You can make over 2,000 Chicken McNuggets out of one average sized chicken!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Not This Again - Why We're Back on the Debt Ceiling Subject

What's so hard to understand. We keep borrowing money!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Monica Lewinsky Writes New Book?

If you do, I will purchase all of them", says Hillary Clinton!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Bank cuts 12,000 jobs, pays bonuses

But bonuses only paid to a couple dozen millionaires.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Shirley Temple Black dies |

"Curly Top" and "Little Princess" made many get their minds off World War II.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Atlanta Prepares For the Worst

Second big ice storm moving in. Is it the curse of Native American Shaman to change their baseball names?

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Ringo Elected Mayor of New York City

In breaking news, former Beatle Ringo Starr was selected by a write-in vote to be the next mayor of New York. "After the Grammies, it just seemed like a natural fit. Who doesn't like Ringo?"

written by Al N., 11 February 2014
Rating:

Detroit Expels Kid Rock

The city of Detroit has expelled faux rock star Kid Rock from the city limits. "He bought a house by the mayor's residence and everything has gone downhill since then" said a city spokesperson.

written by Al N., 11 February 2014
Rating:

Bill Gates would still pick up a $100 bill

Poll: Most people will pick up a penny. "Gotta put something in the offering plate at church", says one man.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Drones Being Used More

Latest: Takes cat or dog to the Vet. He's seen to, placed on drone and sent back home. Tries to kill owner.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Cruz, Paul Top 'Tea Party' Poll; Christie, Bush Last.

And Weiner drops out!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Supreme Justices Heard!

Clarence Thomas: Society overly sensitive about race! Zzzzzz! Ginsberg: zzzzz Put me down for Flying Fanny in the third $100 smackers. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

West Ham's Morrison Plight

Ravel's reputation is unravelling.

written by j.w., 11 February 2014
Rating:

Dow up 200 Points!

On news of price of Viagra, Levitra and Cialis tripling costs.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Gove's New Education Initiative

Education Secretary has issued instructions to all teachers to explain that the Terrible Weather is a Marxist conspiracy.

written by j.w., 11 February 2014
Rating:

Obama Rewrites Obamacare..

GOP: That is illegal once it's approved. Will go to Supreme Court?

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

eer Banned in Iceland until 1989

The country was afraid their people would buy beer instead of their "Ice Cola" where most were employed!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Teenage con artist accused of stealing nearly $30,000 from Walmart

He apparently studied the Madoff Method of Thievery!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

GOP to advance 'clean' debt limit hike

But just you wait till the next time this comes up! Then we will stand our ground!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #088

According to Snoops: The expression, "Calories don't count on your birthday" is true but only on kids. They get sick from eating so much cake and sweets that it all comes back out later at both ends.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #778

According to Snoops: Mother Teresa's sister played Auntie Wainwright on "Last of the Summer Wine".

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

68 Year Old Grandma Looks 26!

Except from the neck down. She'll going to get gobbler chins fixed next but says she can't afford the works. Make a pretty nun.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Zombie That Terrorised New Orleans Caught

Apparently it's William Rehnquist that was on the Supreme Court. "No wonder he kept outsmarting us", says Police Spokesman.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Al-Qaida in U.S. Discovered!

"They didn't think we had bugged the Boy Scouts of America, but we did", says Home Security agent. "You're looking good, this morning Mrs. Cleaver."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Cockroach Stuck in Iran Leaders Ear

"Go ahead. Start a nuclear war. You'll be a hero." (to us).

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Man Having Fun With Mime!

Places $50 bill just outside his invisible cube. He's still thinking about it as crowd gathers.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Scientists Amazed

Microwaving burger from fast food restaurant for two hours doesn't change it except to make it taste better.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Hollywood Film Slump May Create Changes

We're thinking about doing mostly cartoons and fire all the writers and make action films where, instead of a plot, have two half-naked women just shoot at each other for two hours.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Psychiatrist Trying to Help

Don't think of it as a hump on your back. Find you a wife that loves to hump.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #152

Many Lobster fishermen in Maine lose their lives and drown in the ocean if a storm hits suddenly. They are usually eaten by lobsters. The Balance of Nature! Isn't it beautiful?

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #602

According to Snoops: Although it was thought cute at the time, the descendents of Douglas Fairbanks Jr object to people calling him "Fairy".

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #183

Snoops: The man that played King Kong was actually holding a doll in his hand which was supposed to be Fat Wray. Also, when he was finally shot off the Empire State Building, he was caught by firemen.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #612

According to Snoops: Not only has President Obama won a Peace Prize his first year in office, he's now won the "Diddly Squat" award for the last 4 years!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

U.S. Now Ranked 4th in Medals

However, we're only behind Russia in spying!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

President Changes Slogan

From "It wasn't me" to "I don't care, I'm leaving anyway"

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Obama and Hollande Caught Having a Feast

"Michelle is going to kill me if she sees this."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Temps Warm Enough For Summer Olympics!

We should have held them here..in Atlanta!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Individuals Fighting Back Over Spies

A lot of people around the country have been making up new codes of writing about themselves. "A billion codes are going to take a while and we change ours every month."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Revelations by AOL Boss Raise Fears Over Privacy.

"We're onto you on internet and opening your mail also."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

IRS Commish Warns of 'Extensive Wait Times' for Phone Assistance.

"There must be half a dozen agents from organization recording what you say."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

President Directly Violates Text of Affordable Care Act...

"I don't care, I tell you. I am out of here in two years." Some hint sooner if we can get an impeachment started.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Denver Clarifies Rules For MHC

"The Mile High Club cannot just be those couples having sex after a joint, even though this is the Mile High City. You have to be on a plane."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Putin Putting Up With Gays At Olympics #3

Putin tells gay guy who hugged him, "be out of her before the closing ceremony or you're in Prison."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Putin Putting Up With Gays At Olympics #2

Putin appeared with wig, red lipstick and blue eye shadow. "This I a clown, not me", he told reporters. I'm now banned because no one was to report on it.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Putin Putting Up With Gays At Olympics

Gay guy at Olympics gives Putin a hug and big kiss on the cheek, then on the other cheek.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Pickles to visit Somerset Levels.

The Communities Secretary Eric Pickles is to visit the flood devastated Somerset Levels. He will be used as a flotation aid and it is the first time in his career he has been of use to anyone.

written by John_L, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Farting in cars to be outlawed

Farting in private vehicles carrying children is soon to be made illegal. A proposal to allow farts 'if they are set alight' has been dismissed, although expected to be widely ignored by HGV drivers.

written by Crunk, 11 February 2014
Rating:

2020 Summer Olympics to be held in Toyko

....new Olympic feature to be called "On the Road to Sushi"

written by Wumf, 11 February 2014
Rating:

In Search of Ratings Rosie O'Donnell Invites "Methane Al" Gore onto The View

O'Donnell's return stay on The View will include a fumy contest between herself and Gore,recently designated as an EPA hazardous site. It will be a "Fart-off" with Babba Wawa as judge/gas assessor.

written by Trinculoman, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Charting Vice President Biden's Genome Reveals Noteworthy Antecedents

Scientists at John Hopkins report that Biden is in direct descent from a long line of village idiots stretching back to the Neanderthal era. The VP's primal ancestor was one Boouup the Nonwitted.

written by Trinculoman, 11 February 2014
Rating:

3 accused of mailing meth to Hawaii in dummy heads

That would be the Howard Brothers, Moe, Curly and Shemp!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

China discovers Twinkies

company saved from bankruptcy yet again!

written by Wumf, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Billy The Singing Bass in Trouble

Billy The Singing Bass, just changed from bedroom to the hallway wall, sudden rendition of "Hello My Baby!" causes grandfather to suffer heart attack on way to the john.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

NASA Twiddling Thumbs

thinking of taking up woodcarving....

written by Wumf, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Everyone in the world knows English now

Tens of thousands of English as a Second Language teachers returning home to the U.S....

written by Wumf, 11 February 2014
Rating:

U.S. Dollar Slips Again

This time it's against the Nigerian Bank that owes you all that money if you'll send them $100 today.

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Jack The Ripper's Back At Whitechapel!

I'm sorry. That should read: "Jack Frost Blizzard on sale at White Castle, free with ten burgers."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

A Poor Old Mangy Homeless Dog Teaches Congress A Lesson

Tells everybody to ease up on fellow Americans or I'll kill you off one by one. Or was I the only one who heard him say that?

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Man says that he's sick of hearing about whether Obama Cares

That President needs to get sane first! I'm all sick, tired and worn out about it. Like beating a dead unicorn!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Massive Rollback at WalMart

WalMart has announce a massive rollback on the number of employees working their stores. Those remaining will need to work harder and faster. But free gum!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Expert Advice from Sleep Specialist

"If you only get 3-4 hours of sleep at night, one good thing to do is to be sure you tell everyone on the bus, at work and strangers on the street about it. They care."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Wise advice from your Uncle Mikey

"What you say to Uncle Mikey, stays with Uncle Mikey! Well, unless they get me drunk."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Bigfoot Upset!

"Gee Willakers! A guy can't even take a crap in the woods without some idiots hidden night camera going off."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

That one guy on the candy commercial killed on Police Drama!

"You just never know do you. Of course, my wife says I take TV too seriously but I try to keep a foot in the door."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Joe Biden Explains Iraq Success!

"Now that Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden, all we have to do there is get the Sunnis and Shiites and Kurds and some of those Turks sneaking in and out. Oh, Taliban and al-Qaida."

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Texas Woman Kills Husband

"I told him I wanted ice cream and here he comes in with frozen yogurt! I couldn't take it any longer!"

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
Rating:

Japanese Nuclear Waste Having An Effect On Marine Life!

The first Hatchet-Head Shark has been spotted by some beach walkers in Washington!

written by Bureau, 11 February 2014
« Jan 2014 February 2014 Mar 2014 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
59
2nd
56
3rd
60
4th
61
5th
94
6th
84
7th
60
8th
67
9th
87
10th
75
11th
71
12th
69
13th
64
14th
77
15th
48
16th
66
17th
81
18th
63
19th
82
20th
58
21st
65
22nd
74
23rd
67
24th
77
25th
75
26th
68
27th
23
28th
8
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 4?

6 22 8 16


52 readers are online right now!

Go to top