Order by:
Rating:

A message in a bottle thrown into the water by a Quebec teenager traveled more than 3,000 miles to France in 16 years.

We would like to congratulate you and order your arrest for littering!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Astronomer: First Detection of Alien Life by 2040.

That contradicts the first detection by 2030 ten years ago & by 2020 twenty years ago.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

BOEHNER: OBAMA Exempts Corporations, Not Families.

President Obama: I can do anything I want. I won't be running next time.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #099

According to Snoops: Besides the religious prospect of becoming a Trappist monk, there's also the great hunger for the best beer in the world!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #099

According to Snoops: Besides the religious prospect of becoming a Trappist monk, there's also the great hunger for the best beer in the world!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #627

According to Snoops: A moth mother will talk to her young son abound hanging around that front porch light at night but the bright lights call, and so do the spiders!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #818

According to Snoops: There is so much material out there but no movie company has ever made a movie, "The Giant Flea!"

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #323

According to Snoops: There are more than 38,000 species of spiders in the world. That's why most people have trouble naming their favorite!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Beatles Tribute Great!

The two and a half beatles Tribute was great with both oldies and newbies doing Beatles songs.Even Weird Al Yankovic included his new version of "B.S. I Love You".

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Rubin: The problems in Hillary Clinton's past

She has lied about Bosnia, showed carelessness in the killing of four Americans. Most will not forget this, say potential opponents.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Atlanta to get hit again?

Weather stations warning that they may has a second wild day of ice and sleet and auto accidents.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Health insurance mandate delayed for some firms

We intend to take a good look but if it hasn't changed in a year, we will move overseas as many already have or in process of leaving the U.S. We cannot stay in competition by working here.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

I Loved The Beatles!

And that was a miracle because Mom was always asking me, "Why can't you be like that young Paul McCartney?"

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

1 Year ago, Benedict's announcement changed church

We got a new pope. OK! So, back to this 50-years-ago Beatles thing. I think I was a -4 when they were first on the Ed Sullivan.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

How to Stop Living Paycheck to Paycheck

And get on the Food Stamp & Welfare to Food Stamp & Welfare group!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Openly Gay Medalist 'Cuddles' with Putin

Putin puts on a good face! A very very very red but good face!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Are Obama and Hollande trying to take credit for improved relations under Bush, Sarkozy?

Does a person eating a dozen burritos fart?

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Report: Iran successfully test-fires 2 missiles

Missiles hit in mid air! "We meant to do that", says spokesman.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Senior Thai protest leader arrested

"He has been thai-ed up and led to the prison!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Powerball Jackpot Hits $284M; Still Below Record

So many won't even try. "These are for the little people. If it makes it to 500 million, I shall enter."

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Napoleon's Chair No Match For Museum Guard Girth

Split right down the middle! Now they will allow him to test the old guillotine.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Obama makes name change to placate security staff

It's official -- it's no longer "the National Security Staff." It's the "National Security Council Staff." Oh that's a lot better, I'm sure. Now how about those ships from Iran? They here yet?

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Geneva talks on Syria useless, say activists

And in Iran and Egypt and Libya andmost of the Middle East!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #384

According to Snoops: "The expression, "You have got to be kidding" comes from an early American expression, who often had 16 or more children! Also, "No Kidding" which was often looked down upon.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Staines washed away; Bath overflowing

All across the south of England, towns are drowning in floods. Not since the imaginary flooding which spared only the smug ark-building Biblical character Noah has so much water been seen on land.

written by CaptainSausage, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #465

According to Snoops: When Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the papers to make alcohol consumption legal again, he was drunk as a skunk!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #051

According to Snoops: At the Millers, W. Va. State Fair the winner sweet potato and bean eating contest gets $100, but is not allowed back into his house for at least 48 hours. There's a camper there.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #189

According to Snoops: A person who has made it his hobby to study spiders is called "A Stupid Idiot" in Latin.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Pollster: Record-low number of young people to vote in '14.

Especially in the states of Colorado and Washington!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

MCDONALD'S sales continue slide.

Make the burgers with a little less grease and the sliding will stop!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

REPORT: 70 million Americans taking mind-altering drugs #2s.

Although some politicians say they think that those numbers are a little high.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Cheech Marin to run for Mayor of Denver!

Most say they would vote for him but don't think they could drag themselves to the polls.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

REPORT: 70 million Americans taking mind-altering drugs.

I blame the whole sorry mess on Cheech and Chong! But they crack me up!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

STUDY: Media everywhere, bathroom included.

Cameras keep stopping up sewer lines and cameramen getting stuck in toilet holes.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Lawmakers Mull Tax Breaks For Marijuana Farmers.

How about a tax break for all the bourbon factories in Kentucky while you're at it?

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Gunmakers alter appearance of AR-15 to make it legal in NY.

New cap pistol being modified into drone launcher also.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Dem Sens Urge More Drug Stores to Quit Selling Cigs.

You can make up for losses by lowering the drinking age.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Suicide Bomb Instructor Accidentally Kills Pupils.#2

"At least they all left this old world together> We can all be glad of that."

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Suicide Bomb Instructor Accidentally Kills Pupils.

Terrorist Leader: A whole generation of suicide bombers gone, (snaps fingers). Just like that!"

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

WIRE: Pilots often head to wrong airports.

They cover it up by trying to show the passengers something below that is worth looking at, even if he makes it up. "If you'll look out on your right. That was the James Gang's old homestead."

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Hillary Clinton: My President Opponents Eats Babies!

"He also has Erectile Disfunction!" (Wish Bill had it).

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Papers Show "Ruthless" Hillary on Drudge

The Name is "Ruthless" Clinton. I have a license to kill. Don't get me stirred or you'll be shaken!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

State lawmakers move to cut power, water to spy headquarters.#2

This whole thing is getting more and more like Mad Magazine and within our own country! I vote for A.E. Neuman in next election.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

State lawmakers move to cut power, water to spy headquarters.

"Then we will have to be mobile, won't we?"

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

NSA's Secret Role in U.S. Protection

The NSA has an electric field around the U.S. that uses drones if suspicious flying objects of any kind are detected. It reaches several miles into the ocean to see anything that could be a threat.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #751

According to Snoops: Many early shoe factories always made the tongues first. Then came the strings and soles!

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #664

According to Snoops: Some butterflies have beautiful faces in patterns in their wings. That's to fool the females because those dudes got really ugly heads.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #429

According to Snoops: Some medieval kings kept sharks and killer whales in their moats around the castle, often feeding them with criminals and losers.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #421

According to Snoops: "No use beating a dead horse" was originally "No use beating a dead hearse". You'll still get to the cemetery in time to see the burial. Just stay in line.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #174

According to Snoops: A single bat van eat hundreds of mosquitoes in one night before just hanging around with the gang during the day.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #954

According to Snoops: 99% of the people in Morocco and Ireland have internet access. So, how about starring this snippet you guys?

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Men of Duck Dynasty Discover New Louisiana Sport

ice fishing!

written by Wumf, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Attorney General Holder Prohibits Religious Practice

Eric Holder issued a DOJ directive barring the practice of religious belief in the US. "Americans need more diversity in their beliefs. My FBI will enforce compliance with my diversity improvement."

written by Trinculoman, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Hey Bruce, that's show biz!!! -

Bruce Broughton complained to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences after his title track to "Alone Yet Not Alone" was nixed for nomination. He called the decision "stupid and hypocritical."

written by Samuel Vargo, 10 February 2014
Rating:

New NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio declares he wants to outlaw horse drawn carriages from Central Park -

And we thought outgoing mayor Michael Bloomberg's plan to limit soda sizes was silly. Now a lot of draft horses are out of work! Since they're equines, they can't even file for unemployment!

written by Samuel Vargo, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Reports show that airline pilots often land planes at wrong airports -

Since the 1990s, at least 150 cases of this have been documented. Drinking and flying don't mix! And don't smoke pot in the cockpit, you frauds!

written by Samuel Vargo, 10 February 2014
Rating:

No, actually it was my Uncle Charlie's bootheels staggering home from the pub last night! -

Archaeologists discovered footprints in the UK that are between 800,000 and 1 million years old - the earliest proof of human life in northern Europe.

written by Samuel Vargo, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Google Changes Search Engine logo to Protest Russia's Anti-Gay Stance -

by showing athletes skiing, sledding, curling and skating against a rainbow-colored backdrop. Vladimir Putin says he'll put the logo and Google into Soviet prison.

written by Samuel Vargo, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Pussy Riot's Nadia Tolokonnikov will run for Moscow's General Assembly -

And bandmate Maria Alekhina may also run. Before it's said and done, the girls might be running out of the country, though.

written by Samuel Vargo, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Copenhagen Tourist Attraction

Copenhagen Zoo is to be redesigned as an Abattoir.

written by j.w., 10 February 2014
Rating:

Cameron - I went to Heaton not Eton

It's easy to make the mistake that David Cameron is an Eton "old boy", but in fact he went to Heaton school. "I have to laugh when people make this mistake", he told our Education reporter.

written by Auntie Jean, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Shia LaBeouf Wins Best-Dressed Award at Film Festival

Judges said wearing a paper bag on his head was a unique fashion statement.

written by Gail Farrelly, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Message you'd rather not find on your candy heart #6

"I just want to be friends"

written by Wumf, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Message you'd rather not find on your candy heart #5

"I don't love you"

written by Wumf, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Message you'd rather not find on your candy heart #4

"I'm in love with your best friend"

written by Wumf, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Message you'd rather not find on your candy heart #3

"Dear John"

written by Wumf, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Message you'd rather not find on your candy heart #2

"I want a divorce"

written by Wumf, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Message you'd rather not find on your candy heart #1

"Get Lost"

written by Wumf, 10 February 2014
Rating:

One Billion Valentines Are Mailed This Week....

...worldwide post offices experiencing mail avalanches

written by Wumf, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Dustin Hoffman Finally Graduates

with a Ph.D. from N.Y.U.

written by Wumf, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Do stores even sell snow shovels in the South?

uh oh!

written by Wumf, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Study: 79% of U.S. Adults Afraid to Ride in Self-Driving Cars

Of course! This is only for a minority. Most people love driving their cars. Else, take the bus, ride the plane.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Kohler Announces a Nightlight for Your Toilet

No more landing in the cat box beside the commode in the middle of the night.

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

The Beatles invade America in 1964

"Fifty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play!"

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
Rating:

Aging America heading for disaster #2

All of us working Boomers will be dead and gone and you socialists will have to figure out who's going to take care of you?

written by Bureau, 10 February 2014
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