There were 157 spoof news snippets published in December 2014. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

Order by:
Rating:

Home and away to merge with neighbours.

Home and away are to merge with neighbours turning it into one show. The new soap is to start in the new year and is going to be called your neighbours are away ..

written by Glen Jacobs, 08 December 2014
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Customers accidentally get a side salad at Porn-U-Like

Hoping for some hard core when all that came was a limp Chicken Cesar

written by queen mudder, 09 December 2014
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Bill Cosby Books Shows in North Korea and Burundi

Comedian Bill Cosby has announced that his comeback tour will continue, even though most venues have cancelled. The two new countries on the bill are just getting The Cosby Show and love Dr. Bill!

written by Al N., 31 December 2014
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Did Queen Mother Eat Missing Australian Prime Minister ?

D.N.A. matching Harold Holt's the Prime Minister of Australia who disappeared while swimming near the Queen Mother in 1967 has been found on her fish knife by detectives looking for missing poachers.

written by Auntie Jean, 10 December 2014
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Royal Corgis Now Go To Bathroom On Servants

As the days in Buckingham Palace get shorter. a new solution to doing a number two has been found. An army of "Poo Servants" has been hired to lay down instantly for the corgis to crap on.

written by Auntie Jean, 12 December 2014
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North Korea's Internet Crashes for Two Weeks-No One Notices

North Korea, where electricity is a sometime thing, lost their Internet for two weeks but didn't notice until Kim Jong Un wanted to go online to check his favorite porn sites.

written by Al N., 23 December 2014
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Mums Sending Tasteful Jumpers This Year

As a protest to the government's change in terms and conditions for Mums over Christmas, only tasteful, wearable jumpers will be sent out to sons this Christmas, said the association of British Mums

written by Auntie Jean, 24 December 2014
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Joe Cocker and Lauren Bacall's Wills Are Read, Both Say Bill Cosby Drugged Them

In a surprising coincidence, both Joe Cocker and Lauren Bacall's wills gave information they were afraid to disclose while living, that they were both drugged by Bill Cosby with doctored pudding pops.

written by Al N., 26 December 2014
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No New Bill Cosby Accusations for 24 Hours!

The accusations against Bill Cosby are starting to level off as, for the first time in months, no women have come forward in over 24 hours to accuse Cosby of any indiscretions.

written by Al N., 26 December 2014
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Cincinnati Township orders man to kill his 'Zombie Nativity' scene

Much too close to Ebola symptoms for comfort, no wonder the Mayor's orifice went nuts!

written by queen mudder, 26 December 2014
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North Korea's Internet Loss Traced to Black Site

NK's Web blackout attributed to deft CIA work at offshore installation. An incensed Sen D. Feinstein tried to dispatch AttyGen Holder to ferret it out,but Holder was outofpocket at Susan Rice's site.

written by Trinculoman, 27 December 2014
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Flying dinosaur on the loose turns out to be Brits' Princes Anus

Nearly fooled folks into thinking it was some sort of crazy hippopotamus!

written by queen mudder, 28 December 2014
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Private armies might fight in future major conflicts says ex-Bush/Cheney bigwig

Nothing wrong with a little GOP entrepreneurship in the burgeoning private arms sales industry!

written by queen mudder, 28 December 2014
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Al Qaeda publishes bomb-making recipe for aircraft attacks

Jihadis urged to use organic, bio-degradable ingredients in their explosives to stop blasts from contrubuting to global warming.

written by queen mudder, 28 December 2014
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Pope JP2 gunman John Paul II gunman lays flowers at Vatican bombsite

About time the place was spruced up a bit!

written by queen mudder, 28 December 2014
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Cops say resident shot masturbating burglar who stole his dog

Ain't life a bitch!

written by queen mudder, 29 December 2014
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Woman dies after fall from stairlift at NY ski resort

Onlookers say total lack of snow maybe a contributory factor on the incident

written by queen mudder, 29 December 2014
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Ebola spreads to Glasgow, Scotland!

Scottish Nationalists' mad cow disease symptoms now due for a major ovehaul

written by queen mudder, 29 December 2014
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Isle Of Wight News - Underwater Hot Porridge For "Needles Hike" Event

New Year's Day "Needles" underwater hikers can enjoy a "world's first" with treacle flavour hot porridge available at 2.5 m. honey flavour at 3.0 m and plain salt flavour at 3.5 metres depth.

written by Auntie Jean, 30 December 2014
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Prisoners Donate Clothes And Surplus Christmas Food To "Royals In Need"

In a kind gesture, British prisons have agreed to send food parcels to Buckingham Palace this New Year to combat "Daily Mail" ordinary people syndrome, which makes everyone think the Royals are poor.

written by Auntie Jean, 30 December 2014
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Prince George hacks Kim Un-Jong.

Kim Un - Jong and Prince George have accidentally skyped each other, thanks to Nanny Kensington's Tea - Break.

written by Ella Davide, 31 December 2014
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Beer Rocket Safety Flares Available Online To Guide Drinkers Home

Forget the worry of coming out of a city bar at night and having to use a beer compass to get home. A beer rocket like those used by sinking ships can now fire a homing flare to guide you home by GPS.

written by Auntie Jean, 01 December 2014
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Wiggly Supermarket Trolley Wheel Problem Solved At "Up-market" Superstores

British engineer Sir Craps Shooter-Dyson has invented a wheel-less shopping trolley which uses super-conducting maglift priciples. The smoother trolley is only for posh shops like Fortnum and Masons.

written by Auntie Jean, 01 December 2014
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Obama calls for $263bn federal bung for Ferguson

Should keep the voices of dissent quiet over the festive season!

written by queen mudder, 01 December 2014
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Son arrested after woman found RIP with arrows sticking out of head

Swears blind they were just playing cowboys and injuns when real life Commanches burst into the room and killed his poor old Ma

written by queen mudder, 01 December 2014
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Cyber spy ring looks to frame US markets

Damn pesky Russian bastards at it again...

written by queen mudder, 01 December 2014
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Presents from 'Twelve Days of Christmas' would cost $987,450

And that's before adjusting for inflation, ObamaScare and quantitative easing handouts to th troubled luxe gift industry

written by queen mudder, 01 December 2014
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WHISKY PIPELINE

Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin is backing a whisky pipeline from Hooch, Hollow, Tennessee to Anchorage, Alaska.
"Let the moonshine flow!" She exclaimed.

written by Ray Bellew, 27 December 2014
Rating:

Opticians To Stock Correction Spectacles For Wine Effects

Opticians have invented glasses to counter the "bottle of wine effect". Restoring chat up selectivity, they re-establish the ability to distinguish between Prince Harry and Justin Bieber types.

written by Auntie Jean, 02 December 2014
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Former Pentagon No 2 to replace Chuck Hagel

Yep, General Sherman 'Big Turd' Sherman replaces 'Wee' Chucky Hagel the Defense Department's outgoing No 1 after the shit hit the fan at the Pentagon.

written by queen mudder, 02 December 2014
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Revealed: San Francisco Chinese restaurant's disgusting' way of defrosting meat

Blowtorch treatment of the freezer soon thaws out all those yummy cats and dogs

written by queen mudder, 02 December 2014
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Silly whorse gets itself stuck down a well

Rumors flying all over the place that's where a very disappointed jockey decided to house it overnight after a 50-length defeat at apteh races

written by queen mudder, 02 December 2014
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Wife left husband's body to rot after he died with massive erection

Morticians examining the remains said it was still the last thing standing after six years, must have been one helluva guy

written by queen mudder, 02 December 2014
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Put Christmas Slow Cooked Pork In Oven Now - Scientists

Dr. Brian Cock has issued a health warning that slow cooked pork for Christmas day should be going in the oven now. This will prevent overcooking and indigestion he told The Spoof's Xmas reporter.

written by Auntie Jean, 03 December 2014
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UK Chancellor Osborne announces 25% Google 'shit' tax

New levy aimed at multinationals that shit their profits offshore....ah, shift. SHAFT??

written by queen mudder, 03 December 2014
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MOONSHINE MAMA

Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin is backing a proposed whisky pipeline from Hooch Hollow, Tennesse to Anchorage, Alaska. "Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow!" She exclaimed.

written by Ray Bellew, 03 December 2014
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Vladimir Putin's Race Between The Ruble And The Feather



If Vladimir Putin were to drop a ruble and a feather from the tenth floor of a building, which would land first?

written by K.C. Bell, 03 December 2014
Rating:

Sprouts Now Officially Protected Species

It will be a sproutless Christmas, to the delight of children this year, as the WPA have banned all picking of them. Lack of harvesting controls, allowing baby ones to be routinely eaten is to blame.

written by Auntie Jean, 04 December 2014
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Queens speach not on this year.

BBC and ITV Bosses have decided not to show the queens speech this Christmas and instead show a party political broadcast by UKIP. The queesn is thought to be upset by the move.

written by Glen Jacobs, 06 December 2014
Rating:

Princess Beatrice Hacks Into Kim Jong Un's Computer

Princess Beatrice is alleged to have hacked into Kim Jong Un's hacking computer to disrupt his hacking. Earlier Justin Bieber allegedly extracted pin-ups of the handsome ruler in a fit of jealousy.

written by Auntie Jean, 07 December 2014
Rating:

UNITED STATES BIRD SLAUGHTER PREDICTED

In order to keep America's population in check, President Obama has signed an executive order making it mandatory for every member of the United States Congress to shoot a stork.

written by Ray Bellew, 07 December 2014
Rating:

'Bimbo Hit List' Targets Contest Hillary's Plea to "Emphathize"

Jen Flowers,Paula Jones,Monica Lewinsky take exception to Hillary's assertion that one must "understand&emphathize" with enemies. They note that Clinton goon squads who harassed them had no such view.

written by Trinculoman, 08 December 2014
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Bandits busted fleeing with Dead Sea Scroll artefucts

Stole them for use as firelighters in the ass-freezing Israeli winter, poor bastards

written by queen mudder, 08 December 2014
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WTF 'These rich women consider themselves as broke as bag ladies'

Madonna, Oprah and Kim Kardashian suddenly chanelling the penury look for a joke or a dare?

written by queen mudder, 08 December 2014
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Cannibal killed and cooked landlady in downtown horror

Told cops he'd been badly let down at the Food Bank and it was a question of knife or death.

written by queen mudder, 09 December 2014
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Senate files reveal CIA's use of sexual threats and mock executions

How else do you think the last 10 Presidents of the United States ever got elected?

written by queen mudder, 09 December 2014
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Radicalised Hamsters With Suicide Belts Attack Hamster Wheel Factory

Jihadi style hamsters with sparklers tied to their waists have "fizzled" a pet toy factory in Scunthorpe. The factory manufactures giant Millenium hamster wheels, considered cruel by free hamsters.

written by Auntie Jean, 09 December 2014
Rating:

Conservative Peer Baroness Jenkin of Kennington Defiant About Saying "Poor People Don't Know How To Cook"

'People who think otherwise just don't live in the real world,' she explained. 'The poor can have a use as domestic servants, but finding a cook for any of one's mansions or yachts is impossible.'

written by Swan Morrison, 09 December 2014
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Drunken Glaswegians Using Voice Changers To Give Taxi Drivers Directions

Taxis dropping Drunken Scotsmen off at the wrong address could be a thing of the past now with the new Mc Dyson Invention, an on the fly translator. Mc Dyson apparently got the idea from "Star Trek".

written by Auntie Jean, 09 December 2014
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Pair of Pentagon shrinks earned $81M from CIA torture program

Nice work of you can get it, advising torturers how to psych out the enemy and get away with it by calling it Cognitive Therapy

written by queen mudder, 09 December 2014
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Pulled: Hanukkah wrapping paper covered in swastikas as festive Nazi season begins

Damn Hitler memorabilia revival creeping into the the holiday shopping zone

written by queen mudder, 09 December 2014
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Obama's private chef-cum-food taster leaving the White House

Look out for his valedictory cookbook Eating Crow With Da Prez

written by queen mudder, 09 December 2014
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Sinead O'Connor joins Irish rationalist party

Great piss-up went on until 4am over tequila slammers and chit-chat aboutSocrates and other Voice of Reason stuff

written by queen mudder, 09 December 2014
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NYC ranked the most livable city for people under 3'5"

No, wait! Age 35! Rome's Catacombs district is the place for shortarses.

written by queen mudder, 09 December 2014
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De Blasio's security sergeant 'must be back'

Everyone suddenly doing things by the book now Hizonner's Heavy is back on the job

written by queen mudder, 09 December 2014
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Porridge Tankers To Pump Porridge Into Troughs For Poor Who Can't Cook

Arrangements are being made for porridge troughs to be built outside Westminster so that Lady Jenkin can herd starving people who can't cook towards the healthy but revolting substance.

written by Auntie Jean, 11 December 2014
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NBA's Lebron James Now Has a New Nickname

NYC-After meeting the Royal Cambridges post-game,James has been dubbed "The Rude and Intrusive Paw" for breaking protocol and wrapping his mit around the Duchess.Lebron couldn't keep his Paw in check.

written by Trinculoman, 12 December 2014
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Russian military jet nearly collides with Swedish Mile High Club plane

Pilot Sergei Rasputin says he almost dislocated an eyeball looking at those nude ''Swedish Exercises" in Coach

written by queen mudder, 13 December 2014
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Where's best to watch the spectacular Geminid meteor shower?

Probaby in NASA CEO's private ensuite bathroom!

written by queen mudder, 13 December 2014
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Photos Of Prince George Published To Reward Press For Not Publishing Pictures Of Prince George

Prince William and the Duchess of Kate have supplied our royal baby department with carefully photoshopped photos of Prince George as a reward for not publishing Paparazzi photos of Prince George.

written by Auntie Jean, 14 December 2014
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Christmas Appears To Be Approaching

Evidence of the stealthy approach of Christmas is mounting, with reports coming in to our Christmas reporters' buildings of Tweets and Facebook pages suggesting its likely date as December 25th.

written by Auntie Jean, 14 December 2014
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Paparazzi Shocked As Christmas Prince George Photos Reveal He Looks Like A Normal 16 Month Old Child

Paparazzi clamouring to get photos of wealthy 16 month old baby Prince George were astounded when they found their cameras had recorded that Prince George was a normal 16 month old toddler.

written by Auntie Jean, 14 December 2014
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Sydney Gunman 'Was Out-On-Bail Serial Pervert'

Sydney Arthur Gunman - not to be confused with the Sydney gunman in the Cafe siege

written by queen mudder, 15 December 2014
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New road rage pill a winner

Little ampoule of cement/charcoal mix soon stops any urges to abuse fellow motorists

written by queen mudder, 15 December 2014
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WTF 'Chris Christie crushed on Twitter'?

Maybe the guy got squished in between two giant cyber trucks

written by queen mudder, 15 December 2014
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At last, Fakebook dismisses 'dislike' button as far too vegetative

Uh, negative?

written by queen mudder, 15 December 2014
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Update On Ruble And Feather Race

Houston: The feather has landed. The Russian ruble continues to fall…

written by K.C. Bell, 16 December 2014
Rating:

NIAGARA FALLS IS MOVING

The city of Chicago, in an attempt to calm everybody down, has purchased Niagara Falls. "We are going to put it right next to Wrigley Field!" Exclained the mayor.

written by Ray Bellew, 18 December 2014
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Hogwarts Academy Hires Bill Cosby as New Potions Teacher

Harry Potter's school, the Hogwarts Academy, has announced that they will be hiring Bill Cosby as their new potions master."Dr. Cosby has been known to cook up some mean potions!" said the Headmaster.

written by Al N., 18 December 2014
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Terrorist Orphans Threaten to Shut Down "Annie"

The Guardians of Paternity threatened to carpet movie theaters with dirty diapers if they dare to open that affront to orpans, the new movie Annie.

"As if one wasn't enough!" spoke a GOPer.

written by Al N., 18 December 2014
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Sony to Open "The Interview" in Iran

In a surprise move, the Sony Corporation has announced that they will now be opening their beleaguered film in Iran. "Let Iran fight it out with North Korea.It's a win-win!" said a Sony spokesperson.

written by Al N., 18 December 2014
Rating:

Christmas Shoppers Spend £1.2bn On 'Panic Saturday'

Retailers are bracing themselves for a final shopping onslaught on Christmas Eve or 'Oh my God, it's Christmas Day tomorrow, why didn't anybody warn me?' Wednesday.

written by Swan Morrison, 20 December 2014
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North Korea Seeks Joint Probe With US On Sony Hack

'Grave consequences will follow if America rejects our inquiry plan,' said Pyongyang, 'or if they screen "The Interview" or do anything that leads Kim Jong-un to stamp his feet and throw a tantrum.'

written by Swan Morrison, 20 December 2014
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Barack I Now Wants to Be Addressed With a New Moniker

WashDC: Emperor Barack I has issued an imperial order that all courtiers and palace plebs shall now address him as: His Excellent Cubaness "Che-Fidelio". The Secret Service scrambled to update codes.

written by Trinculoman, 21 December 2014
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Kim Jong un Has His Computer Gold Plated

Kim Jong un's fantastic incredibly fast and up to date Commodore 64 computer has been gold plated and encrusted with diamonds to make it the best computer in the world.

written by Auntie Jean, 22 December 2014
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A Delighted Putin Sends Obama An Early Gift

Moscow-Since the US has now taken Cuba off his hands, Chief Thug Putski sent Barack I a case of Beluga cavier with the following note: Merry CommiMass,comrade Barack,enjoy munchin & smokin with Fidel!

written by Trinculoman, 22 December 2014
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Jesus is Just Having A Quiet Family Christmas

Jesus announced on posters outside chapels today that after shopping online, he was just having a quiet Christmas with 5 loaves, 2 fishes and lots of home made wine. It's a miracle, I'm all ready!

written by Auntie Jean, 23 December 2014
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Gorilla Found In London Theatre

The audience of Drury Lane Theatre In London were involved in a lost escaped gorilla capture today.The entire stalls section came to the aid of Buttons by shouting "It's behind you" to him.

written by Auntie Jean, 23 December 2014
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Turkeys Become Suspicious Of "Too Good To Be True" Environment

Reports of turkeys peering under cage doors and through holes in sheds are being taken seriously after the catastrophic consequences (a glut of small turkeys) of a hunger strike were evaluated.

written by Auntie Jean, 24 December 2014
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Electric Chairs To Be Installed In Obamacare Homes

Care homes are to have "Old Sparky" style electric chairs installed to help reduce the cost of arthritis medication. the voltage applied will be similar to Star Trek "Set to stun" levels.

written by Auntie Jean, 24 December 2014
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New York Distillery Raided By Elliot Ness

The first new Big Apple Gin distillery since prohibition has been smashed up by Elliot Ness, a distant relative of Elliot Ness. "I saw Alice Capone in there", he drunkenly explained to bogus cops.

written by Auntie Jean, 24 December 2014
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Kim Jong un Has His New Christmas Song Dedicated To Himself

Last night the population of North Korea wee ordered to sing "Kim Jong merrily is high", the ruler's self composed Christmas Carol, to thank him for keeping out evil Western influences.

written by Auntie Jean, 24 December 2014
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Dog struggling to find new response to "How was your day, Buddy?"

Buddy the dog always greets his owner with a wagging tail and smiling face, but has grown concerned that he needs to vary his response, based to the reality of his day and his activities.

written by Moe Nightwalker, 25 December 2014
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Twenty Women Come Forward and Claim They Were Never Assaulted by Bill Cosby

In a move that will go a long ways in clearing Bill Cosby's reputation, twenty women have come forward to say that Cosby NEVER laid a hand on any of them.

written by Al N., 26 December 2014
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Sony Delighted With Success Of Advertising Campaign For "The Interview"

'Insulting Kim Jong-un has given the film worldwide exposure,' said a Sony spokesman. 'The Interview 2 is now planned in which Vladimir Putin is outed as a homosexual and Pope Francis has an affair.'

written by Swan Morrison, 26 December 2014
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Strangest Yorkshire Christmas Tradition Of All

It is now customary In Scunthorpe to remove the shiny balls, angels and paper ceiling trimmings at Christmas and eat them. This is advertised as a Christmas dinner including all the trimmings.

written by Auntie Jean, 26 December 2014
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Woman died after crack removed from vagina

A true story this, apparently surgeons found a glass pipe and a vile - uh, vial! - of crack cocaine inside her vagina, poor woman probably hid them from the cops before coming up a cropper

written by queen mudder, 26 December 2014
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Baby shunned by other gorillas will sue zoos

Blatant simian-on-simian discrimination lawsuit bound to make the nipper a huge pile of cash...lawfirm of Patton Boggs on the case?

written by queen mudder, 26 December 2014
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Astrophysicist angers Christians with Christmas shit

Ah shucks, meant to say tweet!

written by queen mudder, 26 December 2014
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Some bodies pulled from burned gingerbread house where kids visited Grandma

Blame that arson-crazy Big Bad Wolf for latest Yuletide outrage

written by queen mudder, 26 December 2014
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Topless activist storms St Peter's Square nativity play on Christmas Day

Bet she got frostbite on her nipples for all that palaver

written by queen mudder, 26 December 2014
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Passenger tossed after flipping out over air crew's rendition of Merry Xmas

Lightly in olive oil - before a quick grilling in the airport lounge

written by queen mudder, 26 December 2014
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6 year old confiscates toys

'Mummy and Daddy wouldn't stop talking during a game of Lego
World...'says Sophie, 6.'I've locked the pieces away until they apologise.'

written by Ella Davide, 27 December 2014
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Post Christmas Christmas Intoxication Detox Toxic

say Toxins Experts...but Toxic Anti - oxides may have detoxifying qualities , though high in alkalines, which may oxidise, or deoxygenate, depending on Oxy- Ribonucleic Levels. Drink sensibly.

written by Ella Davide, 27 December 2014
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Obama plays Golf while Stuff happens

'Stuff happens , all the time..the President can't stop stuff happening,so he might as well play some Golf, where nothin' much happens 'n he can get a break from stuff happenin'', says random guy.

written by Ella Davide, 27 December 2014
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Viral Bug goes Viral

Kids with nasty sneezing virus go viral on YouTube.
Check out images of California Teens with hankies at:http/
Southsnot.westcoast.ca

written by Ella Davide, 28 December 2014
Rating:

Viral Bug goes Viral

Kids with nasty sneezing virus go viral on YouTube.
Check out images of California Teens with hankies at:http/
Southsnot.westcoast.ca

written by Ella Davide, 28 December 2014
Rating:

New Year's Eve Corrie to feature Emily Bronte

Coronation Street will vye with Eastenders on 31st Dec.
The episode will feature Emily Bronte as a Nail- Bar Trainee.
Eastenders will rival with a guest appearance by Shakespeare,as a Hipster Nurse.

written by Ella Davide, 28 December 2014
Rating:

French Alp Snow Fluctuation is Anti - British Plot

'Whether lack of, or too much, snow, it's all about scuppering British Skiiers', says UKIP.
'No it's not,' says the Association Alpineurs de France'..
'it's about Snow - Fall, end of'.

written by Ella Davide, 28 December 2014
Rating:

Obama Calls Kim Jung-un a 'Bug-Eating, Dog-Munching, Ping-Pang Gook'

Hours after North Korea's Supreme Leader, Kim Jung-un called President Obama a "monkey", Mr. Obama responded, saying that Kim Jung-un was "a bug-eating, dog-munching, ping-pang gook".

written by Moose, 29 December 2014
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