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Rating:

DEA Tightens Rule on Widely Prescribed Painkiller

Barmen no longer allowed to prescribe Kentucky bourbon to pain-in-the-ass customers

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Scientists say geckos rely on feet hairs and not insurance

Yep, Obama's Affordable Care act a total waste of time for geckos

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Pacific octopus hold egg-brooding record

Hopefully it can now be transferred to a CD after digitising process completed

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Colorado Medical Marijuana Business Facing Federal Hurdles

Whole State is too damned stoned to get it together to do stuff, man

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Academics and Archaeologists Strive to Save Syria's Vanishing Artefucts

Mostly alien images of Bashir Al Assad looted from Aleppo UFO hangar

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Breaking the Monkey-Suit Mold

Microbial scientists cock-a-hoop at smashing apart genome of penicillin-like fungus that plagues tuxedo wearers

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Barbara Bush Has Whippersnapper Beat Up By Secret Service

Former First Lady Barbara Bush had her Secret Servicemen pummel a lad who had the gall to say he thought her tomb at the George H.W. Bush Library was very nice and he hoped she got to use it soon.

written by Al N., 24 August 2014
Rating:

New evidence that millions of cows are living under East Coast sea

No other explanation for recent discovery that huge methane emissions have been found seeping from sea floor off the Carolinas

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Michelle Obama Picked Up For Spousal Abuse

In shocking news it was announced that First Lady Michelle Obama was picked up last night by Washington D.C. Police on one count of spousal abuse and one count of using an antique vase as a weapon.

written by Al N., 24 August 2014
Rating:

Cheap Viagra to be available on Obamacare

Discounted blue pills offered at 20 cents in time for the next US presidential erection

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Terrorists accused of 'hijacking' the ice bucket challenge

ISIS renegades post pics of 'waterboarding' indigenous Kurds amid serious drought in Bagdad.

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Loom bands tested for containing harmful levels of toxins

World Health Organization quacks admit nothing more sinister than cannabis, sperm and vodka traces found

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Iran left red faced after shooting down 'Israeli drone' at Natan nuclear site

Turns out it was nothing more sinister than a homing pigeon

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

China a step closer to developing supersonic submarine capable of 10mph cruising speed

What's kept them?

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

San Francisco earthquake: California Governor declares state emergency

The entire 2014 Turbo Bud marijuana harvest may have been destroyed

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

White House sorry for 'President Obama sending three White House officials to Chris Brown's funeral' story

Meant to say Michael Brown

written by queen mudder, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Superintendent Bends Girls Over

Superintendent Bass appeared at Noble High on Friday morning to perform a dress code check personally. Student Stephanie Stewart said the superintendent asked some girls to bend over.

written by Heeke, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Boehner Hits Obama For Bergdahl Swap

Boehner wanted Barack to trade Michelle Obama for Bergdahl stating that Michelle Obama would be a sizable punishment for taking Americans hostage.

written by Heeke, 24 August 2014
Rating:

Obama Names Tiger Woods Ambassador to Martha's Vineyard

The appointment is effective immediately, as intensive consultations with the new ambassador are needed now to deal with the most pressing international crisis: State of Obama's Addressing the Ball.

written by Trinculoman, 24 August 2014
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