There were 6,623 spoof news snippets published in 2014. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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True Facts From Snoops #971

Snoops: In Italian slang, a Bingle is a car accident and a whinger is a complainer. Wonder what a goober grabber is?

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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JPMorgan Pays $2B 4 Partnering With Madoff

Morgan and Bernie Madoff cost widows and orphans billions in Ponzi scheme. The fine of $2B is huge but there are no criminal charges. "The Morgan excs wear white collars," explained the prosecutor.

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Super Rich Cry For Justice

"We are the deserving rich, we are the makers not the takers. I'm so misunderstood" said J.P Vandergoose who inherited $1.2B in 2011. "It's really hard work to keep my servants and yacht crew happy."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Ex-Air Force Men Say Cheating Normal

Officers in charge of operating nuclear missiles have always cheated in readiness tests covering safety matters. "We never knew what we were doing Why the heat now? " asked a former officer

written by Keith Shirey, 20 January 2014
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GOP Declares New War On Poverty

Boehner said tax breaks for the rich, no taxes on corporations, ending the Environmental Protection Agency, the FDA, ending money for cancer research, would stumlate growth and end poverty.

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Satanists Get Ok. Statue

In the Ok. capitol grounds a 7 foot goat-headed Satan will be built. A court ruled today that a 10 Commandments monument there had set a precedent. "We couldn't rule otherwise," said the judge."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Could sharks help predict hurricanes?

Maybe, maybe not! But who's going to get close enough to check them out?

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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The Duck Dynasty Hosts Bowl Game

In a year of big changes for NCAA football, the A&E stars put their Duck Commander brand on Louisiana's Independence Bowl in a new five-year deal!

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Kim Jung Um Welcomes U.S. Spy Chief

Head of Snoops James Clapper has found asylum in N.Korea after Congress has chained his mind about prosecuting him for perjury. "N Korea's culture is about the same as the NSA's Clapper said."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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U.S. Now Supports Only Non Cannibal Terrorists

In a shift of policy, the US gives aid only to the good terrorists who promise not to eat the hears and livers of bad terrorists in Syria. "Finger nibbling is still ok," said U.S. War Department."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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First Amendment Now Repealed

Said Sen. Ted Cruz, who led fight to get rid of it, "It wasn't used for years. There's no separation between church and state, peaceful demonstrators are jailed, corporations censor TV news, etc."

written by Keith Shirey, 20 January 2014
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Denis Rodman Called In

Two warring factions that are supposed to be fighting Dictator Assad in Syria are warring with each other. One group has called in Rodman "He has the wisdom and power of Allah and can settle this."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Conservative Says Gov Can't Do Anything Right

So GOP congressman voted for bill to stop airline inspections. He was aboard a plane that had never been inspected. As it went down in flames he said, "My death is not in vain I stopped Big Brother.

written by Keith Shirey, 13 January 2014
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Denis Rodman On Kim Jung Um

"We be close friends cuz. He's a great humanitarian. We bond playing chess, reading Saint Augustine, discussing Jean-Paul Sartre, listening to Beethoven and Bach, going to art galleries, and such."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Inside of My Body? (SLAP!!) No You Don't!

The FDA has approved a new camera that can be swallowed so that doctors can look at the inside of their patients' bodies.

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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US Ally Saudis Back Gentle Terrorists In Syria

Sheik bin Akhmed Obadin said that it would now only back the Syrian "good terrorists" who only kill infants. "If they leave babies to live they're good guys. I think our US friends feel the same."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Rupert Murdoch Says Has Power To Choose Pres.

The Fox News owner says his viewers will tip the scales in 2016. " You know, the Duck Dynasty Fans, the KKK, the Tea Party, the Miley Cyrus groupies, gun nuts, angry white men and Limbaugh fans."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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No Medical Care Lets People Be Heroes

Most GOP state govs won't allow extension medicare That means 5M people with delayed care. In Tx., no treatment for cancer let's them be heros at they fight the disease on their own" said Ted Cruz.

written by Keith Shirey, 13 January 2014
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Japan Responds To Fukushima

With secrecy, denial, no monitoring from other nations, hiding radioactive fish. The plant could have huge explosion. P.M's solution "If we lose it we'll build 50 more like the one at 3 mile island."

written by Keith Shirey, 13 January 2014
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Concern Over Super Bowel Fly By

The air force has decided to use F-35 fighter jets for the Super Bowel flay over. It has numerous design flaws and could crash into football fans. Lockheed-Northrup who built it is a game sponsor.

written by Keith Shirey, 20 January 2014
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Waterproof Seats fitted in cinemas ahead Of 'Fifty Shades' Film Release

Cinemas across the UK are to have waterproof seats fitted prior to the release of the film version of Fifty Shades Of Grey early next year.

written by Glen Jacobs, 29 July 2014
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David Brooks On Reefer Madness

The NY Times man said that "weed makes you lazy." " It was ok in my day but kids now have to work hard to pay off huge student loans working at boring low pay jobs. No pot now, they have to be alert."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Justin Bieber Videos Show Unsteady Walk in Jail

He certainly looks different all pale and bow-legged!

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Disney World is raising the price of a one-day ticket to Epcot to $100

Some are saying that for a big family they could save money by actually flying to some of the countries instead of a fake one.

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Global Banking Regulators Ease Up

Fearing retribution on governments for regulations on huge banks, the WBR, which oversees world financial institutions, say regs. will not be enforced and praised Bernie Madoff type Ponzi Schemes.

written by Keith Shirey, 13 January 2014
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TX. Forces Women To Host Fetus'

Women as "hostess for fetus" law passes. IT provides internment camps for women who want abortions. Law says must carry embryo to term in camps. "The placenta is sacred" says Gov. Perry,"it's law."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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French Pres.'s Ratings Go Up After Mistress Revealed

Francois Hollande's political policies have been a bust. But when it was revealed he had such a good looking mistress the public now admire him and his popularity has soared.

written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
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Why Are The Rich So Rich?

Guru Raja Shiva said today, when asked why 0.2% of the top 1% in America were billionaires said, "Well that's easy, they chose the right parents before birth."

written by Keith Shirey, 21 January 2014
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Rogers, Feinstein Say Snowden Foreign Spy

They also said that he has put American lives in jeopardy. But FBI says no such cases have been found and he is not under influence of foreign gov'ts. Mystic j. Ra says they channel Joe McCarthy.

written by Keith Shirey, 21 January 2014
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Youth Sells Box of Oreos Outside Dispensary for Record Amount

An enterprising youth sold one box of Oreo Cookies outside a Colorado marijuana dispensary for $156.

written by Al N., 20 June 2014
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Hollywood Bar Bans Anti-Gay Lawmakers.

States: Then we don't have to bring in any of your movies!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Head Of Religious Order Reveals Agenda

Sister Mary Vagina said today that employees of Catholics should give up personal health care freedoms. "No coverage for Aids, condoms, if the bosses say so, then they have to go along with it.

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Climate Deniers Groups Names Revealed

Edward Snowden found the dark money contributors front groups: "Christians For A Green U.S.," " Friends Of Science," "Earth Love Inc.," "Save The Earth," "Mother Spaceship," and "Planet Salvation."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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U.S. Plans $1 Billion Loan to Ukraine, Kerry Says

"Just as long as the Chinese agree to the financing!"

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Hard Line Muslims Make Demands

Extremist Muslims in tax-supported public universities demand that men and women be separated at public college forums. Sen. Ted Cruz of Tx said "That's fine with me, I support segregation."

written by Keith Shirey, 13 January 2014
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Giant Penalty Doesn't Affect J.P.Morgan

For it's failing to report Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme they were fined $6B. "Why would that bother us? We, B of A and Chase own America. So the fine's a trillion dollars? So what!,"said Morgan CEO

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Christie Remains Popular

In spite of "bridgegate" and revelations and 3 new scandals emerging, NJ Gov. has 98% approval rating of NJ residents. Why? A typical statement is "I know he's corrupt but he's blunt, outspoken."

written by Keith Shirey, 20 January 2014
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Rubio Says Quit War On Poverty

It hasn't worked he said. "We've still got all of these lazy 3-year-olds who won't work; welfare queens who work 3 jobs a day but still can't pay bills; and severely disabled looking for handouts."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Michelle Obama's Family Tree

Michelle Obama has disclosed that she is distantly related to famed California attorneys Gloria and Ginger Allred.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 March 2014
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Bob Dylan Ad For Chrysler A Fraud

One little problem . . . Dylan praised the U.S. auto industry. Chrysler Corp. had been bought out by Fiat of Italy several weeks ago.

written by Keith Shirey, 04 February 2014
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O.J. Simpson Discovers Cure for Cancer!

Incarcerated football player/"actor" O.J. Simpson revealed that he has discovered the cure to all forms of cancer and will reveal it to the world in exchange for being released from prison.

written by Al N., 20 June 2014
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Why Is Ted Cruz Still Canadian?

He said he would no longer be a citizen of Canada but he hasn't acted. "It's a simple process, Of course, if you have mental health issues you can't do it," said R.L. Smith, immigration attorney.

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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New Chris Christie Scandal

He's had lap band removed, was seen at McDonald's gorging on 5 Big Macs and 7 bags of fries.

written by Keith Shirey, 13 January 2014
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Older Dads at Higher Risk of Passing Along Mental Disorders, Study Says

"We are not", says older dad. "It's the things put in the kids food that causes all the problems. Go back 2 generations and lots of big families and this wasn't true because they grew their own food.

written by Bureau, 27 February 2014
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Kim Jung Um Welcomes U.S. Spy Chief

Head of Snoops James Clapper has found asylum in N.Korea after Congress has chained his mind about prosecuting him for perjury. "N Korea's culture is about the same as the NSA's Clapper said."

written by Keith Shirey, 08 January 2014
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Rebel Defends Cannibalism

Mumaud al Bin Dahmer, rebel commander fighting in Syria, today explained why he ate the hearts of regime supporters he had killed. "Cannibalism in the pursuit of liberty is no vice," he said.

written by Keith Shirey, 20 January 2014
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Wyoming Has Its Reasons

It is illegal in the state of Wyoming to utter the phrase "As the crow flies."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 March 2014
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Kim Jong Un Is Fascinated By Miss Ann

The North Korean leader does not like to talk about it but he emails GOP political maven Ann Coulter at least four times a week

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 March 2014
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Britain admits Royal Navy doesn't have any submarines.

Britain admitted yesterday that the Royal Navy doesn't have any submarines and hasn't had any since the second world war. The Secretary of State for Defence declined to comment.

written by Glen Jacobs, 30 July 2014
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Polar Vortex Proves Global Warming Hoax

The Rev. Danny Dumb-end times hopeful and climate change denier-said that today. When scientists pointed to unusual heat as the basis for the vortex he said "I'm sick of them stating the facts."

written by Keith Shirey, 10 January 2014
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Lois Lerner is Going to the Internet to Raise Funds for Her Legal Expenses

Lerner, Queen of Taking the 5th while Subverting the 1st, is desparate to raise money for escalating legal bills. She's opened a 'Lois Takes It Off' website but only customer signed up is Larry King.

written by Trinculoman, 10 April 2014
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Jerry Sandusky Wants Pension Back So He Can Buy Candy for the Warden's Kids

Convicted serial child molester Jerry Sandusky tried to get back the Penn State pension he lost when he got sent to the State Pen. He says he would use it to buy candy for the warden's children.

written by Al N., 10 January 2014
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Arizona warned you will lose the Super Bowl

Anti gay proposal may be passed in other states.

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #903

Snoops: In some cultures people believe that it's good luck to cross your fingers. In others, they think you are about to lie!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Chemical Spill in Va. Reds Not Enforced

The EPA Va. head asked for public understanding of virtually no enforcement of rules. "Most of us are on the Boards of coal, chemical, and fracking companies. That's very time consuming."

written by Keith Shirey, 13 January 2014
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Mylie Cyrus To Star In New Role

The producer of a new version of Mary Poppins said today that Mylie was given the part.

written by Keith Shirey, 23 January 2014
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Gary Delaney marries Sarah Millican

Stand-up comedians Gary Delaney and Sarah Millican have got married - Gary's marriage vow was a one liner, and Sarah's just went on and on and on and on....

written by IainB, 03 January 2014
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Justin Bieber Object Of Comics' Ridicule

Late night funny men and their audiences enjoy making him the object of ridicule. But a noted sociologist says it is they who are ridiculous. "He's badly in need of help. Only dumb-asses would laugh."

written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
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New U.S.Olympic Uniforms Ugly

But the chair of the U.S.Olympic Committee says they couldn't be. "They were designed by Ralph Lauren whose taken me out for at least a dozen lunches at Spago."

written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
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Snowden Says He'll Never Return To U.S.

His constant companion, Gwen Ashton from the UK, revealed the real reason is that his long-time girlfriend who he left in Hawaii is impossibly angry. "Snowden won't face her wrath" she revealed.

written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
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VA Bureaucrats Who Faked Vet Treatment Data Are Now Seeking Cover

VA administrators who got bonuses by false reporting while ailing vets died are using their "death funds" to find somewhere to escape from SealTeam 6 which has sortied on a search and destroy mission.

written by Trinculoman, 11 May 2014
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He's Just A Good Old Mormon Boy

Paula Abdul has revealed that she once dated Mitt Romney.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 March 2014
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David Letterman Reveals An Interesting Item Regarding His Name

Talk show host, David Letterman said that up until six years ago he was seriously thinking about changing his name from David Letterman to David Email.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 March 2014
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Paul McCartney Once Dated A Very Famous Singer

Paul McCartney says that during the early days of the Beatles he dated fellow English singer Petula Clark but he broke up with her because she always wanted to go "Downtown."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 March 2014
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A Well-Kept Secret About Paris Hilton

Up until now, no one but Paris Hilton's parents and her sister Nicky, knew that Paris's nickname is Flamingo.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 March 2014
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Why Morale Is So Low Among US Nukemen?

Many officers who would launch land-based nuclear missiles have been relieved of duty for being drunk, not knowing safety rules. The nukes are aimed at russia. The cold war was over 20 years ago.

written by Keith Shirey, 21 January 2014
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Hobby Lobby Approved by Supreme Court for Human Slavery

The Supreme Court ruled today that closely held corporations such as Hobby Lobby may buy and sell people needed for their corporation. They may also purchase the people in other corporations.

written by Al N., 01 July 2014
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Latest Regulatory Decree from Health & Human Services (HHS) Mandates Daily Treading

WashDC-HHS Dept. decreed today it is mandatory that every US citizen--regardless of age--must walk, run, or skip 10,000 steps per day. The newly created Pedostapo Police Force will enforce compliance.

written by Trinculoman, 15 April 2014
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Taliban to Incorporate

The Taliban announced that they are incorporating and selling infidels stock on the NY Exchange.

written by Al N., 17 June 2014
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Liz Cheney Quits WY Senate Race

Her exit happened after hunting accident where her dad, Dick Cheney, hit her with rifle butt. When she came to, awareness of being a stupid homophobe & a total political incompetent made her quit.

written by Keith Shirey, 06 January 2014
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Satan to Take Vacation, Asks Cheney to Fill in While He's Gone

Satan, aka the devil, has reportedly decided to take a vacation and has asked Dick Cheney to fill in for him while he's gone. "I'm sure most people won't even notice the difference" said Satan.

written by Al N., 28 June 2014
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Scamatology to Modernize With New MySpace Campaign

In an attempt to get the hip and cool kids, Scamatology has started a brand new campaign on that site all the kids are going to, MySpace.

written by Al N., 28 June 2014
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A New Bill O'Reilly Book is Rumored to be in the Works

New York-Rumors abound in publishing circles that a new O'Reilly book is in process.Entitled "The Day Bill O'Reilly Died," it is a joint effort by Bill Maher and Rachel Madow & Chris Matthews of MSNBC

written by Trinculoman, 08 April 2014
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Transgender Inmate Close To Surgery

Conan O'brien and Jay Leno are delighted bout the surgery as they see a new opportunity for jokes. They often make funnies about prison rape, which they and their audiences somehow find humorous.

written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
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Russian Communal Toilets Objets Of Interests

Pics of side-by-side thrones have gone viral on the internet. They're not in keeping Russian homophobia. But, more importantly, the pictures reveal that there is no provision for toilet paper.

written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
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Taylor Swift Running Out of Men to Date

Serial dater Taylor Swift, who has been out with every man in Hollywood and written songs about them, announced that she would be holding a lottery to pick her next song victim. So far, no takers.

written by Al N., 01 March 2014
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French taxi driver strike

French taxi drivers have blockaded the roads to protest against higher taxes. "I do not want to modify my taxi in any way," said one taxi driver. But in French.

written by IainB, 13 January 2014
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National Institute of Abhorrent Behavior (NIAB) to Study Cable News Anchors

Boston-Dr. Felix Noodlesorter of NAIB received a LooneyToonery grant to study the behavioral traits of those who anchor cable news shows. Prime subject for scrutiny is Wacky Chris Matthews of MSNBC,

written by Trinculoman, 17 April 2014
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Hillary Clinton's State Department Balked on Labelling Boko Haram as Terrorists

Secretary Clinton failed to identify the thuggish gang Boko Haram as terrorists. First personally, then internationally, she served as an enabler of activities resulting in violence against women.

written by Trinculoman, 10 May 2014
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"Care For Some Toast, Mate?"

John Lennon said that when he and Yoko Ono were married on March 20, 1969, they received a total of 47 toasters as wedding gifts.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 March 2014
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Taylor Swift's Guppies

Taylor Swift recently commented that she has three guppies that she named Moe, Larry, and Curly after three of her high school teachers.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 March 2014
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Eminent Authority Assesses Obama Administration's Lack of Accountability

"Expecting the President and his minions to take responsibility for their government's failures and incompentencies is like expecting a toddler to clean his own ass and change his diaper."M Voltaire

written by Trinculoman, 20 May 2014
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If It Quacks Like A Duck, It's A Duck

Oprah Winfrey says that she is sick and tired of having to tell people that her and her BFF Gayle King are not lesbian lovers.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 March 2014
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CIA Director Denies Spying on Senate Intel Committee

He giggled as he told reporters that he's just an addicted Internet surfer.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 March 2014
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Farting in cars to be outlawed

Farting in private vehicles carrying children is soon to be made illegal. A proposal to allow farts 'if they are set alight' has been dismissed, although expected to be widely ignored by HGV drivers.

written by Crunk, 11 February 2014
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Secretary of State Kerry Urges Release of Israeli Spy Pollard for Suspect Peace Deal

Sen John McCain offers an alternative--swapping Kerry for Israeli PM Netanyahu. It'd be a useful trade:the Israelis get a field target for Palestinians, and the US gets a world leader with some balls.

written by Trinculoman, 03 April 2014
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Putin's Pre-Obama Call Snack Consumption Routine

Putin eats a gamey Caucausus Fox burger laced with chopped garlic, Siberian onions, and raw horseradish before any US Hotline call, so he's ready to belch a response to every statement from Obama.

written by Trinculoman, 15 April 2014
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A Tidbit About The Beatles Song "Twist And Shout"

During the recording of "Twist And Shout" John Lennon was screaming so loud that his left tonsil actually popped out hitting George Harrison on the nose and causing him to drop his guitar pick

written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 February 2014
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Taylor Swift Talks About Her Ankle Freckle

T-Swizzle recently revealed to Larry King on The Viagra View that she has a tiny freckle on her left ankle that amazingly resembles Kanye "The Pest" West.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 March 2014
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Paul McCartney Planned to Replace Linda With Farrah Fawcett

Paul McCartney had planned to replace Linda McCartney with Farrah Fawcett Majors in his band Wings until a secret audition with Farrah revealed her musical skills to be even less than Linda's.

written by Al N., 21 June 2014
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Michelle O Pushing Ban on Junk Food Advertising in Schools #2

Then I guess the Girl Scout cookies will be banned also?

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #181

Snoops: After counting several times by actuaries Pez has twelve pieces of candy in "Pez 12".

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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True Facts From Snoops #970

Snoops: Smokey The Bear was originally called "Hotfoot Hairy".

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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POLL: Uninsured opposition reaches all-time high.

Poll: Insured opposition reaches all-time low! Those in between say they are at all-time middling!

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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Snow, Snow, and More Friggin Snow

A Pennsylvania meteorologist is predicting that the sky could run out of snow within 8 days.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 March 2014
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Great-grandpa takes home wrong kid from school, angering parents

"Well they all look alike in those get-ups. I guess that was what all the fuss was about when we left."

written by Bureau, 26 February 2014
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E-Bay CEO Explains Devil Worship Auctions

Charlie Clueless said auction with an etching showing a person kissing Satan's buttocks was acceptable. "We allow artistic expressions of all of the world's religions. Satanism is no exception."

written by Keith Shirey, 13 January 2014
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Christie's New Explanation

A 2nd scandal emerged today when we was accused of taking police officers to direct traffic to purposely cause tie-ups to cause trouble on bridge
"Not true i wanted them to exercise with their arms,"

written by Keith Shirey, 13 January 2014
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Charles Manson Admits Scamatology Too Weird for Him

In a rare interview, Charles Manson talked about his involvement with Scamatology. "Those dudes were just too weird for me man!" spoke Manson.

written by Al N., 01 July 2014
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Glen Beck Sorry He Almost Destroyed US

Former host said that he helped to tear "fragile" America apart. His psychotherapist said it's a typical statement from one suffering from delusions of grandeur.

written by Keith Shirey, 23 January 2014
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