Spoof news snippets from Sunday 8 September 2013
Woman on Toilet Calls 911
A woman stuck without toilet paper is forced to call 911 for help. She explained to EMT's that her husband failed to replace it again.
San Francisco braced for refugees
The city of San Francisco is predicting an influx of up to half a million gay refugees from Australia. The pink tide has been set in motion by new PM Tony Martin's anti gay stance.
Man Utd buy Beckham!
Man Utd have decided to turn to Becks to save their reputation as transfer deadline dodo's. He's on a free and begging Posh to play alongside "The Mop" Fellaini in the Theatre of Nightmares!
Cameron demands to lick Obama's butt!
UK PM, Cameron is demanding to be allowed to lick Obama's butt and become famous like Blair the Bush butt licker, they both have bad breath!
EDL are deported!
England have deported the EDL (English Defence League) because they claim it is anti-English and there is no room for such behaviour in England! The EDL are now in exile on the Isle of Man!
Egypt declare war on US
Egypt has declared war on the US because the US refuses to bomb Cairo and the place needs an " extreme shake up" before it falls into the hands of Islamic Maniacs!
US bomb Lichtenstein!
The US have decided to bomb Lichtenstein instead of Syria because Assad, Gaddafi, Saddam, etc, still have billions stashed away there and Syria has no oil!
England 4 - Minnows 0!
England win at last, so what? They are and will always be CRAP!
.............In the night garden
Duke of York challenged by Met security in Buckingham Palace grounds....pistols at dawn 6am...be there or be square!
Billy Ray Cyrus pulls out of tv appearance
Apparently his daughter Mileys performance at the MTV awards, where she 'twerked' Robin Bulge, sorry Robin Thicke, is rumoured to have broken Billy Rays achy breaky heart.
England rollover Moldova
England beat Moldova 4-0 with goals from Gerrard, Lambert and 2 from Danny Wellbeck. Rickie Lambert scored his second international goal, making him the highest scoring cigarette brand for England.