Order by:
Rating:

Barack and US Press

Announced O'Bama today.. "For the sake of democracy and freedom, I have issued an order under the Official Secrets Act forbidding Congressmen and Senators from talking to the press. Or face prison."

written by Auntie Matter, 25 September 2013
Rating:

US accused of blocking 'drone' lawyer

really boring guy, always just drones on and on and on in court...

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Chelsea Manning awaits diagnosis in prison

fears docs have already labeled her as attention deficit troll

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Treasury says Chancellor Osborne's complained over EU bonus crap

Er, second thoughts, make that 'bonus cap'

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Chinese quacks grow new nose on man's forehead

Poor guy's already tried topping himself three times after they stuck it on his ass, his belly button and his armpit

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Scientists say fish may not help with memory, thinking skills

Uh, WTF did I leave that smoked salmon I bought at lunchtime today?

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Geologists discover Earth got oxygen much earlier than suspected

Some time during the Cretinaceous Period?

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

The secrets of restoring oysters in the Chesapeake Bay?

Dunk 'em in a glass of Bolly, the fizz will soon perk them up

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Head of Aphrodite Statue Excavated in Turkey

Just WHAT was it doing face down in Apollo's naked lap?

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Brit zoo bans 'baffling' animal print clothing

Yeah, the zebras started revolting at all that Last Season schmatter

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Arts review: Die Schuldigkeit DesEersten Gebots, Wigmore Hall, London

WTF, isn't there an infectious diseases unit named after the guy?

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Feds release CCTV of Navy Yard shooter

Unfortunately NCIS' Jethro Gibbs not impressed, blames Mossad's Eli David for tampering with the footage

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Peru drug mules to plead guilty

Judge says they've already made an ass of themselves

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

China signs lease to rent 5% of Ukraine

Unfortunately that's the defunct Chernobyl reactor they're renting, should have checked the small print

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Lech Walesa wants Germany and Poland to unite

Just like they did under the Fuhrer in September 1939

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Brazil's World Cup stadium to be used as detention center after tournament

Thousands of Guantanamo Bay inmates to be offered once-in-a-lifetime chance of a Brazilian holiday

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Musical based on life of John Paul II to hit London

Playing to packed-out audiences in the Jimmy Savile Memorial Theater

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Sen Ted Cruz ends 21hr Senate rant against Obamacare

Proctologists will now examine the daft old blowhard for damage to his favorite orifice

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

£40 million pink diamond declared a fake

So back it goes inside a Harrabs Xmas Cracker, £100 for six

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Kansas creationist museum to open exciting new wing

Sneak preview says it will be stuffed with 21st century global warming believers

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Plastic surgeons on standby, please:

'Miliband's bid to fix fuel prices blows up his face' bwahaha

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

One million mums forced into hand jobs 'just like Kirstie Allsop'

Time for a new subeditor at the Torygraph broadsheet

written by queen mudder, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Super Search Engine Announced

In a show of online cooperation, the major search engines have agreed to create a "super" search engine called Bingoogyavista which will soon replace having to do any kind of actual thinking at all.

written by MarsPandora, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Syria Makes The U.S. An Offer

Syria has told the United States that they will get rid of all of their chemicals if the U.S. gets rid of all of its trans fats.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 September 2013
Rating:

The Most Famous Lip Syncer of All-Time

Britney Spears recently said that her lip syncing days are over. She then grinned and said, "But as for my lip syncing nights, well..."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 September 2013
Rating:

The U.S. Casts Her Eyes South of The Border

The ongoing debate regarding Obamacare has really gotten bogged down in the U.S. Senate. Mexico saying that it's really no big deal has just unanimously approved Obamacare

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 September 2013
Rating:

Shock for the Media

An Opposition which Opposes!

written by j.w., 25 September 2013
Rating:

Seeing the Light

Energy Companies threaten to pull the Plug but are told to pull the other one.

written by j.w., 25 September 2013
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