Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 24 September 2013
The Reason Bob Dylan Loves His New Job
Bob Dylan, the 72-year-old musical director on The Viagra View says he loves the gig because with Larry King, 79, and Regis Philbin, 82, he feels like a young whippersnapper.
Clint Eastwood Says His Wild West Days Have Ridden Into The Sunset
Clint Eastwood who is 83, said that if he ever does another western he will play the part of a drugstore cowboy who just sits in front of a drugstore whittling and telling lies.
Charlie Sheen Certainly Knows How To Get The Ratings
Charlie Sheen said that he talked to Dennis Rodman about the possibility of getting North Korean leader Kim Jong Un to appear on his show Anger Management.
Sheriff Joe Arpaio Is Going To Be One Surprised Old Fella
President Vladimir Putin says he will be deporting all Russian gays to Arizona. When asked why Arizona, he responded by saying that he just tossed a dart at a map and he hit Arizona.
Joan Rivers Said No To Dancing With The Stars
Joan Rivers was to have been on Dancing With The Stars but backed out because she was afraid if the British judge Len Goodman gave her some bad scores she'd probably jump on him and bite him.
Morbidly Obese Praise New BK French Fries
Burger King's new 'Satisfries' low calorie French fries are being praised by morbidly obese people across the US. The new fries have 20% less calories, meaning they can eat 20% more fries than before.
Dull people trying to be exciting, bad jokes, forced laughter, insincerity and entirely baseless promises.
Not just seasonal then.