Order by:
Rating:

College Kid: Drunk Guy At Bar Last Night Really Smart

"Until I read back everything I wrote down last night and nothing makes sense. Like 'the fire department needs two life jackets', What's that?"

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Longtime Librarian Confesses About Books

"Books don't take you anywhere. However, a good travel guide and smoking a joint take me to places I've never even heard about."

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

President Obama says Syrian Situation His Hardest Decision

"I was up all night, pacing the golf course!"

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Signing Gorilla Denies Evolution

"We learned to communicate without all that mouth noise. Don't compare us to mankind. See any WMD's?"

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Another School Joins The Big Ten Conference

The Old School of Hard Knocks will become number 13 or 14 in The Big Ten. Most cannot recall just how many there are that make up the Ten.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Sides Still Far Apart as Another Fiscal Cliff Looms

Warner Brothers offers to send over expert on cliffs, Wile E. Coyote. "He's a genius", say WB Staff.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Michelle Obama on Ann Romney

"She still drops by from time to time checking the size of White House rooms, curtain colors, carpets. I think she's lost it."

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Experts Predict Active Season For Award Shows

"There's at least ten different Country Music Award Shows, alone!", says Hollywood reporter.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Some Americans Are Doing Fine in Economy

Or they look like they're doing fine, with big smiles and high eyebrows. In fact, they smile constantly.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #289

According to Snoops: One out of twenty blind people in the United States are blinded by pissing in a beer bottle and throwing it into a bonfire, especially in the South.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Texas Man Pleads Guilty of Giving Kids Candy, Colas & Donuts!

After second kid in three months explodes from fat!

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Assad: Risk of Regional War if West Strikes

"Risk of regional war if we don't as he will feel free to kill as many of his own people as he pleases", says Kerry

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Aadesh Musheer On Top Again

Once again, everyone's favorite, Aadesh Musheer has the number one hit in Country & Eastern music with "Kundi Moving Chick".

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #910

According to Snoops: Due to the expression "Put your 'John Hancock' right there" to sign anything, the real John Hancock had a terrible time getting credit from anywhere.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #76

According to Snoops: During the early twentieth century, the pope ruled that invisible ink was from "the bowels of hell".

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #366

According to Snoops: During World War Two, U.S. spy, Julia Child, often sent here messages back to the U.S. by alphabet Soup!

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Other Nations Say They Would Help US in Syria

Along with France, San Maino, Tuvalu, Monaco, Nauru and Vatican City join in. Pope Francis really making some changes over there.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Nazi-themed wines come under fire in the US

Although the Hitler Merlot has a nice balance of fire and brimstone!

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Chemist Claims All Life on Earth Began on Mars

Cosmetologist claims that all life on earth began on Venus!

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

1,600-Year-Old Sweater Found In Norway

Has a picture of Regis Philbin on the front of it!

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

U.S. Banks Giving Practically Nothing to Invest There

Also, several have asked for their toasters, advertising pads and ink pens back.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

............Pissheads Rule OK?

As another two pommie pissheads go for Gold flinging themselves off Magaluf balconies, Team GB is sure to bring a clutch of medals home during the 2016 Brazilian Olympics 'balcony plunge' event!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Loners National Meeting A Blow-Out

Only two of them came and they wouldn't acknowledge one another's presence ", says onlooker.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Yosemite Sam Names Person Starting Fires There

"It was that Mangy no-good, back-shooting, hot-footing varment of a Rabbit!"

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Snowden Beginning to Crack?

"United States spied on leaders of Brazil, Mexico, Klingons, Vulcans..."

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Russia Not Convinced by U.S. Evidence

Although admitting they hadn't actually seen it yet.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Different Face, Same Pace

Proposal seeks broad war power despite vow of limits. Deja Vu all over again!

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Russia sending spy ship to Mediterranean

According to U.S., French, British, Israeli Spy Ships.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Transfer Deadline Day Latest (4)

New Manchester United boss David Moyes has scoured the world and beyond in pursuit of transfer targets, and has found Leighton Baines and Mauroune Fellaini - down the road at his old club Everton.

written by radiogagger, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Roberto Soldado is the new Gareth Bale

New Tottenham Codspur striker Roberto Soldado has promised to learn Welsh, grow facial hair and trademark his 'heart' goal celebration so Spurs fans do not miss Gareth Bale

written by radiogagger, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Transfer Deadline Day Latest (3)

Wayne Rooney, Peter Odemwingie, Mesut Ozil and Luis Suarez all stuck in revolving door.
Harry Redknapp, Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho rush to assistance.
More as we get it.

written by radiogagger, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Transfer Deadline Day Latest (2)

78 year old Jimmy Greaves has announced he is coming out of retirement and is available to play for former clubs Tottenham Hotspur, Chelsea, West Ham, or anyone else prepared to pay him a million quid

written by radiogagger, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Transfer Deadline Day Latest (1)

West Brom's want-away striker Peter Odemwingie has been turned away from Real Madrid car park gates after driving all the way from the West Midlands.

written by radiogagger, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Gareth Bale becomes overnight superstar after move to Madrid

Rumours he's lined to marry Catherine Zeta-Jones have been played down. He was seen in the local chippy with Tom Jones on Friday though.

written by radiogagger, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Gareth Bale learns Spanish ahead of move to Madrid

It will come in handy when he needs to ask for a transfer back to Merthyr Tydfil!

written by radiogagger, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Police Pot-Sniffing Dogs To Get Hemp

That should read "Help". Dogs eat too much after career over. Police make deal with local dog food factory to cut calories.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Obama Still Studying Syrian Problem

Most say he's still waiting for congress, Michelle tell him what to do. Then, either way it turns out, he can point his finger!

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Water From Nuke Fuel Tank Still Leaking Into Ocean #3

Aquaman leading rescue efforts getting fish, whales, sharks, mermaids out of the area.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Here We Go Again

Some in USA want to change "English Bulldogs" to just plain "Bulldogs".

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Water From Nuke Fuel Tank Still Leaking Into Ocean #2

Japanese scientist overseeing leakage says he has "Lost Face". Now being led around and being told how things appear.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Water From Nuke Fuel Tank Still Leaking Into Ocean

"We hope to have it cut to half that amount within five years", says Japanese scientist.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

UK gov't let company export nerve gas chemicals to Syria

"Had no idea they would be crazy enough to use them!"

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Obama Seeking Congress War Approval

Brings out the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to help influence voting.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

McDonalds Changing Image

"From now on, our fries will have fiber and our milk shakes will have enough probiotics to off-set all the cow antibiotics in the milk!", says owner.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

NSA Say They Have Raised Their Own Funding

By selling videos hidden in a secret place located in all the Prison Weight Rooms!

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Man Found Dead In His Car At Mall

Wife to police: "He said he'd wait in the car until I ran into the store to exchange a dress. That would be 2 days ago. Then, when I came back out, he was dead. I still think these shoes are wrong."

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Man Gets Bitten by a Radioactive Frog

"He warts off crime throughout the city!" Frog Man!

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Man Gets Bitten by a Radioactive Monkey

Stops two bank robbers fleeing the scene by hitting them in the face with a handful of shit! MONKEY MAN!

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Kentucky Father Catches Son Smoking Pot

"What are we going to live on if you smoke up our whole crop?"
("I don't care.") "You'll care as soon as we run out of money for munchies!"

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Chicken Soup For The Tyson Chicken Catchers

New "Chicken Soup" book not doing well. That's the second in a row after last years disastrous "Chicken Soup For The Chicken Killers At Purdue"

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Amish Ask President To Shun Syria

Once everyone ignores Ass Odd, he wilst quiet himself down a bit.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

W.Watcher Cruises Announce New "Vomiting Weight Loss" Cruises

Eat all day and night and still lose ten pounds or more. A selected few will even get Diarrhea and lose twice as much. We'll be seeing you running from the buffet to the john! See, exercise also.

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
Rating:

Saudi Arabia Promises To Do Better

Saudis say they will make a much greater effort to hide that they are the ones financing all the terrorists. "We can't stop now or the royal family will be headless. But you'll still get your oil."

written by Bureau, 02 September 2013
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