Order by:
Rating:

Cancellation notices soar above enrollment rates.

We don't know what we are buying, when and if it will ever exist", says one who has withdrawn from Obamacare.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

NSA Monitored Calls of 35 World Leaders

Russia suggests that U.S. communications satellites be brought down. No word from President, although most are expecting "It's not my fault" any day now.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
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Dummy data file on Healthcare.gov includes Star Wars, Transformers characters.

Hackers say they are completely innocent.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

U.S. Planning Stricter Control of Widely Used Painkillers

"We're going back to plain old alcohol. You have a dental, get loaded...but get a designated driver."

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

School Kids Must Use Big Pencils Used 50 Years Ago

Pres. Obama has told schools to lose sharp pencils as they could be used as a weapon. "We're going back to those big flat ones used years ago, the ones you write with that balance on your shoulder."

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Obamacare worker fired after taking calls from Hannity..

Operators have since received over 1,000 calls claiming they are Hannity or Mrs Hannity.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Things We Didn't Know About the Fungal Outbreak

That we could get it from Green Party Initiation. That you could get it from wiping your tail with leaves while camping. What else have they not told us?

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Wife of Man Who Traded Wedding Band for Beer Doesn't Want Ring Back

"I got it from my boyfriend's nose while he was passed out a few years back."

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Obamacare Website Contractors Shirk Blame for Foul-Up

"Let him take the blame for himself for a change. After all, he's the one in charge!"

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Baltimore Hooters girl says her hair color got her fired

No kidding!? Is this the human resource management of a corporation that makes women wear practically nothing with their breasts hanging out, while coercing them to flirt with ugly old guys?!

written by Samuel Vargo, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Asteroid that whizzed by the Earth to rebound in 19 years

NASA says not to worry, the rock's chance of hitting Earth is only one in 63,000, much greater than the chance of winning a state lottery (one in 175 million).

written by Samuel Vargo, 24 October 2013
Rating:

One-third of American adults get their news from Facebook

- Which leads us to believe most think the world is flat and that the Tea Party is not the 'Stark-Raving Serious LSD Party'

written by Samuel Vargo, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Despite billions in aid, Afghans can't find work!

Meanwhile, here in the United States, trillions of dollars on welfare and able-bodied people still cannot find work.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Energy Companies Heed Advice Of The Archbishop Of Canterbury To Behave Ethically In Relation To Price Increases

'We have decided to be totally honest with consumers,' said an energy industry spokesman, 'and admit that the price hikes are driven by pure greed, and that we don't give a shit about any of them.'

written by Swan Morrison, 24 October 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #331

According to Snoops: The first cell phones weighed thirty pounds and you had to carry them around in a suitcase with rollers.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

You won't believe what's in U.S. rivers

Chemical dumping has created two-headed 1200-pound catfish. 'No Swimming' signs going up everywhere.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Hot Cricket News

Australia has Ashes ready for England

written by j.w., 24 October 2013
Rating:

Cleveland Indians ask for opinion on 'Wahoo' logo!

"We could change it to 'Geronimo!!!", says spokesman.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

President Obama Makes Request

"During speeches, please stop yelling 'We Agree!' before I make any statements."

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

VP Biden: Country on cusp of mental health changes

"But it won't work until all of us are voted out of the madhouse in Washington."

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Website contractors blame Obama administration

"Half the calls that finally make it through have no understanding of what they are calling about. Plus our own answer service haven't read it either."

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Shape of Babies in X-rays Change Scientists Minds

"We now believe that humans began as sea horses."

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

University: Cowboys, Indians and sombreros 'offensive' for Halloween

Also animals, turbans, anything other than George Bush, Cheney and Nixon! "Then forget the candy", reply kids in area. "We'll just attack WalMart in force!"

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Israel clashes with USA over Iran nukes.

Ron Paul: There go the last two friends we had. Thank you, Washington!

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

US-Saudi Crackup Reaches Dramatic Tipping Point.

Obama still refusing to give them a $5 tip on each barrel.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

NSA Apparently Bugged Obama

FBI agents find that the President's teleprompter has been bugged. Sources agree that caused the sudden yelling of "Heil Obama!" outburst Tuesday.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Germany, France unite in anger over spying

For the first time in recorded history they have agreed on anything.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
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Biden Blames China

"It's all China's fault for not lending us enough money."

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

SICK: Millions of Americans Losing Health Plans.

Plans for suing Washington for over 50 trillion dollars as lawyers rub hands together in glee.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Pelosi: 'Just fix it'.. 'Just fix it'..."jut plix shit!"

Has to be removed and sent to local hospital while still screaming, "George Bush Doing It!"

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

THE HEARINGS: Health care site contractor to give testimony.

Many blame those studying rooms full of monkeys trying to type Shakespeare on computers tying up all the lines.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Lots of Doctors Pointing Fingers at Obamacare Mess

Especially Proctologists who use middle finger.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Thefts of hair die

After the discovery of a blonde girl in the Roma camps, Greek police have reported an increase in the shoplifting of black hair dye.

written by IainB, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Coming Soon: The Colorado Bunnies

Hugh Hefner has hinted that he is considering moving The Playboy Mansion to Colorado for the obvious reason.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Mr. Goombalini, Where Are The Fishing Rods?

Brooklyn Mob boss Salvatore Goombalini stated he's had just about enough of Senator Ted Cruz's playground bully tactics and he's sent him a message inviting him to go fishing in the East River.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Rating:

In Search of Sleeping Beauty

If it's true that sleep can make a woman beautiful then Chelsea Handler will need to spend about 21 hours a day sleeping.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Gordon Ramsay May Be Syria Bound

Chef Gordon Ramsay has said that he wants to produce a version of Hell's Kitchen in Damascus, Syria with the losers being incarcerated in prison for two months.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Johnny Depp Admits That He's Theatrically Traumatized

Johnny Depp still not over the box office failure of his movie The Lone Ranger says he starts shaking whenever he smells popcorn.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Will The Real Salma Hayek Please Stand Up

Actress Salma Hayek, who is from Mexico, recently said she totally got rid of her Spanish accent five years ago, but her personal agent asked her to start using it again because it made her sexy.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Rating:

The New And Improved Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson stated that he is thrilled at the fact that he has finally learned to control his temper and proudly boasts that he has not bitten anyone in 6 months.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Clint Eastwood Ain't No Dirty Harry

Clint Eastwood, the 83-year-old chair talker, was asked if he plans to marry again as soon as his divorce is final. He replied, "I'm married?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Rating:

The Somali Pirates and The North Korean Rice Raiders

The Somali Pirates have contacted North Korean loose cannon leader Kim Jong Un about joining forces and reeking havoc all over that part of the world.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Rating:

Sofia Vergara Would Definitely Disagree With Kate Hudson

Kate Hudson has remarked that what she lacks in the boob department she makes up with her fantastic smile.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Rating:

REPORT: U.S. Spent $3.7 Trillion on Welfare Over Last 5 Years.

However, nearly 200 people managed to get off welfare and go back to work!

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Rating:

$500 Per Gallon of Gas in Afghanistan.

"At least that thins out the car bombings", says Afghan President Hamid Karzai.

written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
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