Next Bilderberg Conference
The next Bilderberg Conference will be held in the Skull & Bones HQ known as "The Tomb" at Yale University.
........."She's behind you!"
Madeleine McCann, 500 calls from Germany today, 150 from the Dutch yesterday...this saga is fast becoming 'Where's Wally' for the 21st Century!!
Prince Chaz warns of pension crisis.....not for him of course! This years upcoming pensioner 'cull' will probably break all records after continued food and utility price hikes!..."bring out yer dead"
'Amazing' Kate plays volleyball in 5 inch heels.....that's nothing cobber I've just sunk an ice cold 'tinnie' while wearing 'budgie smugglers' sitting around my swimming pool....!!
..exit stage left?
Tim Rice returns to West End after 13 years..."bugger me days cobber, nobody speaks English anymore!"
Second Giant Sea Creature Causing Market Stir
The latest oarfish to wash ashore on the west coast, a fourteen footer is wreaking havoc in local vending markets. Sushi vendors are disupting over rights to the fresh meat.
Travelling abroad? Lost?
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Mayor Pleads "Don't Vote For Me"
A small town mayor missed a deadline for taking his name off the ballot. No one is running in opposition. Polls show the mayor favored by a wider margin than any candidates ever before.
Your Future Is Closer Than You Think
According to the latest studies in quantum theory, your future is right now. Oh, there it goes. It's past.
Nebraska Cornhusker Fan Mixed Feelings Finding Out Today "Bi-week"
"I woke up excited, then tense, then a little leery, but then excited, then a little nervous," said a husker fan, "then I found out they don't even play today. What the hell am I gonna do all day?"
Gunman In Clown Suit Kills Mexican Drug Cartel Leader
Authorities say the shooter was a known member of the "Loony Jester Pack".
Marilyn Manson Joining "Once Upon a Time" Cast
"Once Upon a Time there was a rocker who made a mint through horror, shock, and a bare ass at the Mtv awards. Now he's biding time on network t.v. Nobody wants to see a middle aged man twerk."