There were 574 spoof news snippets published in October 2013. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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WWII Vets Cross Closed Line

Underground members of al-Qaeda seen scurrying from country like rats from a sinking boat

written by Bureau, 02 October 2013
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Mexico Is Very Concerned About The Tijuana Bullfight Scandal

Mexico is trying to squash the Tijuana Bullfight Scandal which involves claims that some of the bullfights were fixed.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 October 2013
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Shutdown stalemate continues; WH powwow unproductive

Black Smoke comes from the building means no agreement yet! Vatican objects.

written by Bureau, 03 October 2013
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Coverage gap leaves up to 7 million ineligible for Medicaid

"I'll medicate that young man's *** if I get a hold of him", says Atlanta widow, who is immediately arrested.

written by Bureau, 03 October 2013
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Ryan Seacrest Has A Request

Ryan Seacrest recently told Larry King on The Viagra View that he wants everyone to stop calling him Peaches. King grinned, touched his glasses, and replied, "It ain't gonna happen Peaches. Trust me."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 October 2013
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True Facts From Snoops #201

Snoops: The Lone Ranger was alone because of bad body odor. Tonto had bad adenoids.

written by Bureau, 02 October 2013
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The Other Side of Adam Lambert

Adam Lambert has just expressed a desire to appear in the play Romeo and Juliet and he said he wants to play the part of Juliet.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 October 2013
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Sparks and Mensa to sell a new cocktail

Sparks and Mensa have moved into the alcoholic beverage market with the 'Countdown Cocktail', which is one from the top shelf, and five from any other shelf...

written by IainB, 18 October 2013
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Mr. Goombalini, Where Are The Fishing Rods?

Brooklyn Mob boss Salvatore Goombalini stated he's had just about enough of Senator Ted Cruz's playground bully tactics and he's sent him a message inviting him to go fishing in the East River.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
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Paul McCartney Has Set His 2014 Goal

Paul McCartney says that his musical goal for 2014 is to record an album with Honey Boo Boo.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
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Russell Brand Colorado Bound

Russell Brand has hinted that he may be moving to Colorado to take in some of that state's nice, pot permeated air.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 October 2013
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Stacy Keibler Said No To Rosie O'Donnell

Stacy Keibler turned down a role that would have had her starring as Rosie O'Donnell's lesbian interest. Stacy said she has nothing against lesbians, but added that Rosie is just too gosh darn short.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 October 2013
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Miley opens up about doing the splits with Liam Hemsworth

Ripped a huge hole in the gusset of her tights, blamed Liam for having had a hand in it

written by queen mudder, 11 October 2013
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Mike Tyson and The World of Tattoos

Mike Tyson said he is tired of his facial tattoo and will get it lasered off. He plans to replace it with a tattoo of Rihanna's face.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 October 2013
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The Tea Party People Are Not Happy

The Tea Party has asked that people please refrain from referring to it as the Tea Bagging Party due to the sexual connotations.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 October 2013
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Ann Coulter Reveals A Shocking Revelation

GOP political maven Ann Coulter says she is concerned about her biological system noting that all of a sudden she finds Rosie O'Donnell to be one hot, sexy babe.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 October 2013
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Brits plan to re-open Iranian embassy

About half a ton of gelignite under the front door should do it just like during the 1979 siege

written by queen mudder, 08 October 2013
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Brooke Shields - One Fine Looking Cougar

Brooke Shields will be starring in a new version of the Blue Lagoon. The part played by Christopher Atkins in 1980, will now be played by Zac Efron. The film is titled, Blue Lagoon: The Happy Cougar.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 October 2013
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Get Out The Soup Spoons Y'all

A Louisiana bayou fisherman caught a 300 pound Creole Turtle. He says he hopes to make turtle soup for 200 people.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 October 2013
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World markets will be 'seriously pissed' if US govt fails to raise debt ceiling

Raise the debt ceiling? Hell, whaddabout raisin' the friggin White House roof?

written by queen mudder, 08 October 2013
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WTF 'Putin shows Abbott iron curtain over birthday cake snub'?

This is no time to be ironing them drapes, Vlad, leave it to KGB money laundering division

written by queen mudder, 08 October 2013
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Kenny Chesney Insists That He's A Straight Shooter

Kenny Chesney has said that he is getting tired of all of the gay rumors. He exclaimed, "Dammit, you ride a horse sidesaddle one time and they brand you a prairie fairy."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
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President Shakira?

Millions of people in Colombia want Shakira to run for president. They have even suggested her political campaign slogan - "My hips don't lie."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 October 2013
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The Man Committed A 'Fowl' Crime

A Connecticut man who was being pursued on foot by a policeman suddenly turned and threw a parrot at the officer. The bird bit the policeman who later said he's just lucky that it wasn't an ostrich.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2013
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The Skies Are Friendly - And The Scenery Is Sexy

A TSA Air Marshal has been detained and arrested for taking upskirt photos of female passengers with his cell phone. Word is that he was selling them to co-pilots for $2 each

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2013
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All Trades Are Final?

A man in Boston traded his wife for an iPhone. About 45 minutes later the grouchy-as-hell wife was returned by the man who angrily asked for his iPhone back.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2013
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New Jersey Goes The Gay Route

New Jersey becomes the 14th state to allow gay marriages. Governor Chris Christie was heard hollering out, "Okay everybody listen up, designer pizzas for everyone!"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2013
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The Singer With The Redundant Name

Lady Ga Ga in a desperate attempt to revitalize her sagging career announces she will be changing her name to Lady Ga Ga Ga.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2013
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Plenty of Exposure

The National Broadcasting Company has decided to show a smiling photo of President Obama 24-hours a day during shutdown! Not that they're showing any favors.

written by Bureau, 02 October 2013
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Law leaves Georgia's biggest hospital $45M short.

Just an idea..but I'd try Vanderbilt just up I-65!

written by Bureau, 02 October 2013
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Veterans swarm 'closed' WWII memorial, knock politicians

Korean and Viet Nam Vets making plans. Slogan favorite thus far: "Let's Burn The Place Down While They're Gone!"

written by Bureau, 02 October 2013
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Snoop True Facts # 78

Snoops: Before George Washington admitted to cutting down the cherry tree, he blamed George Bush!

written by Bureau, 03 October 2013
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Susan Boyle Ready For A Career Change

Susan Boyle saying that she is bored with the entertainment business now wants to get her cosmetologist's license and become a hair stylist.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 October 2013
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Wolf Blitzer The Nazi?

CNN's Wolf Blitzer has denied the rumor that he has been asked by Spike Lee to play the part of Adolf Hitler in the comedy play Sieg Heil Bruthas.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 October 2013
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Nick Clegg's wife moaning on about 'absurd' labels holding back women

Poor Miriam, blames everything on an overdose of Prada corsets

written by queen mudder, 08 October 2013
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Jackie Chan - No Hi Yo Silver!

Asian actor Jackie Chan revealed that he tried out for the role of The Lone Ranger but producers told him that he was a little bit too short.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
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Keira Knightley Keeping Her Chin Up

Actress Keira Knightley recently confessed that she lost out on two movie roles because she was flat-chested. She did perk up and add that she did get three movie roles because she was flat-chested.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
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American Airlines Says "No Way Jose" To Alec Baldwin

American Airlines has announced that it is banning Alec Baldwin from ever flying on their airline. They stated that the reason was due to his acting like a total, pompous ass, kind of like Omarosa.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 October 2013
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President Obama - Maybe No Ho! Ho! Ho!

President Barack Obama has stated that due to the horrible state of the economy he is seriously thinking about cancelling Christmas.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2013
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CBSNEWS warns 'global warming' could raise temperatures 212 degrees!

Then again, it might drop to 75 below zero like we reported in the 1960s.

written by Bureau, 02 October 2013
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9 out of 10 IRS workers sent home

But 100,350,000 still on the job. "We need staff to count money coming in", says spokesman.

written by Bureau, 02 October 2013
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Will The Real Salma Hayek Please Stand Up

Actress Salma Hayek, who is from Mexico, recently said she totally got rid of her Spanish accent five years ago, but her personal agent asked her to start using it again because it made her sexy.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
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Anderson Cooper - Mr. AC-DC

Anderson Cooper says that the talk about him no longer being gay is false as he pointed out that he is still as queer as a three dollar bill.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 October 2013
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Johnny Depp Admits That He's Theatrically Traumatized

Johnny Depp still not over the box office failure of his movie The Lone Ranger says he starts shaking whenever he smells popcorn.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
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Thefts of hair die

After the discovery of a blonde girl in the Roma camps, Greek police have reported an increase in the shoplifting of black hair dye.

written by IainB, 24 October 2013
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Paula Abdul Is Not A Happy Camper

Paula Abdul is reportedly so devastated at not being picked by her ex-boyfriend Simon Cowell to be a judge on X-Factor that she hopes his baby mama has sextuplets.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 October 2013
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Afghanistan's President Hamid Karzai blames NATO after bleeding it dry

Hamid? More like hammered, never heard to much daft tosh in me entire life

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2013
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Ann Coulter Says The Lesbian In The Photo Is Not Her

Ann Coulter has said that the alleged photo of her and Rosie O'Donnell engaged in an intimate embrace was photoshopped. Coulter said that everyone knows that Rosie is a brunette and not a blonde.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2013
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Dick "Horrible Shot" Cheney Receives A Warning

The state of Utah has informed Dick Cheney that if he is caught in Utah in the possession of a rifle or any other kind of firearm he will be immediately arrested.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
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Kate Hudson Says It's Time

Kate Hudson said she may be going in to have a twofer done. She stated she wants to have her one ear that sticks out pinned back plus she figures it's time to have her little boobies enhanced.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 October 2013
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Sandra Bullock Is Concerned About Her Eggs

Sandra Bullock has stated that she fears that all of that flying around she did for the movie Gravity may have caused her to become sterile.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 October 2013
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Macaulay Culkin Is Back

The much troubled former child star Macaulay Culkin has agreed to star in the mystery drama The Lights Are Off and I'm Home Alone.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 October 2013
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93 Percent of Native-Americans Hate The Name Redskins

A newspaper in Baltimore is refusing to use the name Washington Redskins on grounds that it is highly racist. The paper will instead refer to the NFL team as The Washington Bruthas

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2013
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Shakira Hammers Charo

After Charo, who is from Spain, criticizes Colombian actress Sofia Vergara, fellow Colombian Shakira asks, "And who dee hell ease dees Charo beesh anyway?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2013
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Kirstie Alley Is Not One Damn Bit Picky

Kirstie Alley recently stated that she has never met an ingredient that she didn't like.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2013
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Cameras will follow David Cameron's family

TV Cameras will follow all the members of David Cameron's family for a reality TV show, with the exception of Samantha Cameron, who will hold the camera, called the SamCamCam.

written by IainB, 02 October 2013
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Cave Has Global Warming?

Huge cave discovered in China with own weather system! Al Gore heads that way immediately.

written by Bureau, 02 October 2013
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Sofia Vergara Would Definitely Disagree With Kate Hudson

Kate Hudson has remarked that what she lacks in the boob department she makes up with her fantastic smile.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
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Coming Soon: The Colorado Bunnies

Hugh Hefner has hinted that he is considering moving The Playboy Mansion to Colorado for the obvious reason.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
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Abu Anas al-Liby claims disillusion with jihadism

Blames dodgy halal kebab at the White Widow Cafe for sending him bonkers in the first place

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2013
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Rio uses oil slick to pacify the favelas

Mayor of Brazilian World Cup city says whaddahell, it's cleared out drug gangs from the shanty towns

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2013
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Supreme Court throws out Virginia sodomy law appeal

Judges say however appealing the rectal practice may be it's got bugger all to do with the Constitution

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2013
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Israel up in arms about ritual circumcision ban

Says Council of Europe has no business sticking its nose into young lads' foreskins

written by queen mudder, 07 October 2013
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Donald Trump Says He Is Not Going To Be A Baby Daddy

Donald Trump has stated in no uncertain terms that the rumor that Omarosa is pregnant with his child is a lie that was probably started from somewhere within the White House.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2013
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Octomom Wants Another Baby!

Nadya Suleman, alias Octomom, says that if Bruno Tonioli of Dancing With The Stars was not gay she would like to have his baby.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2013
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LeAnn Rimes Keeps On Saying What She's Been Saying

LeAnn Rimes is so fed up with the husband stealing talk that she has decided to write and record a song called, "Hey Y'all, Lissen Up Now, I Ain't No Damn Husband-Stealing Tramp."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2013
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Tom Brady Responds With A "No Thanks"

Jose Canseco, who admitted to taking steroids, recently said that if New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady took steroids he could easily throw the football 100 yards.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
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Tina Fey Cannot Stand Sarah "The Pest" Palin

Tina Fey has stated that sometimes in the middle of the night she wakes up drenched in sweat after having dreamt about impersonating Sarah "Snowflake" Palin.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
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John Boehner Going For The Gold

Movie producer Michael Moore has quipped that if whining was an Olympic sport Speaker of the House John Boehner would win the gold medal.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
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Conan O'Brien - Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Conan O'Brien said that Hollywood's Hair Stylist To The Stars, FuFi Fondue told him he is willing to cut his hideous-looking hair and style it so he doesn't look like one of the Little Rascals.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 12 October 2013
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Arizona Shoots For A Solution

Arizona in order to cut down on school bus violence will assign a shotgun-toting security guard to each school bus.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 October 2013
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Circle the Clichés, Boys

Congress is putting more boots on the ground to kick the can down the road.

written by Michael Balton, 17 October 2013
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OJ Simpson - Alias The Cookie Monster

Prison officials report that O.J. Simpson was caught stealing cookies from the cafeteria. The warden replied by saying, "Cookies? No problem. I'm just glad he didn't take any of the silverware."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 October 2013
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Get Well Soon

Republicans have traded in their tea for some chicken soup. As soon as they feel better, they are going to kick Ted Cruz down the road.

written by Michael Balton, 17 October 2013
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Edward "Duh" Snowden

Edward Snowden swears that he did not take any secret U.S. documents with him to Russia. Of course not, they were already there. Snowden is believed to be related to Paris "The Airhead" Hilton

written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 October 2013
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I'll Have A Book of Stamps and A Big Mac

In an effort to bring in more revenue, the U.S. Postal Service is planning on putting McDonald's Restaurants in all of the Post Offices.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 October 2013
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U.S. Now 25th in Education

Congressman: We got to get some book learning into these kids or the country won't be worth diddly squat.

written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
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Miley Cyrus May Be Leaving The Country Soon

President Obama and Vice-President Biden are thinking about sending Miley Cyrus over to Afghanistan to entertain the troops.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 October 2013
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No Government in America

Where the Americans go we are sure to follow!

written by j.w., 01 October 2013
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"Isn't It Ironic?" by Alanis Morisette Ironically Disliked by Most Ironic Hipsters

Oh the irony. Now Isn't THAT ironic, don't ya think?

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 02 October 2013
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Steve Miller Admits to Still Being "A Joker", "A Smoker", but No Longer "Midnight Toker"

"Kinda getting too old for that nowadays," stated the old rocker, "don't get my loving on the run either. It's pretty much dinner, some t.v., a lowball, a little smoke, and goodnight by ten."

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 02 October 2013
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Fred Talbot escapes from prison

Fred Talbot, the disgraced former weather man from This Morning, is being hunted by the police. "We think he's skipped the country," said one police officer.

written by IainB, 02 October 2013
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UKIP is a fascist party says Lord Heseltine

Takes one to know one, UKIP's Nigel Farage replies, as battled for Nazi hearts and minds goes up a gear

written by queen mudder, 02 October 2013
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Is Woody Allen's son Ronan possibly Frank Sinatra's?

DNA tests show Mia Farrow blue-eyed boy was maybe conceived by a THIRD, unnamed man

written by queen mudder, 02 October 2013
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US government shutdown is really hurting day-to-day stuff

Expect the Capitol Hill trash dumpsters to be overflowing into the streets of DC before anyone decides to back down

written by queen mudder, 02 October 2013
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Head of Iranian cyber warfare shot dead in suspected drive-by-shooting

Witnesses say his PC hard drive pulled out a .45 and let him have it

written by queen mudder, 02 October 2013
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FBI shuts down notorious Silk Broad drug website

That's the last time Federal employees suffer the indignity of purchasing a fake online wrap

written by queen mudder, 02 October 2013
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Notre Dame QB admits cheating on test

"I was granted an indulgence", he tells reporters.

written by Bureau, 30 October 2013
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Obamacare Fines to be Seized From Bank Accounts?

Public gets ready to make run on banks.

written by Bureau, 02 October 2013
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From the nation's capital…

They had to close the National Zoo. It couldn't compete with the Congressional Circus.

written by Michael Balton, 03 October 2013
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Gordon Ramsay May Be Syria Bound

Chef Gordon Ramsay has said that he wants to produce a version of Hell's Kitchen in Damascus, Syria with the losers being incarcerated in prison for two months.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
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The New And Improved Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson stated that he is thrilled at the fact that he has finally learned to control his temper and proudly boasts that he has not bitten anyone in 6 months.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
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Kanye West Best Stay Away From Toby Keith

Country artist Toby Keith cannot stand rap artist Kanye West. In fact Toby recently said that if he ever sees West The Pest in person he will hit him so hard he'll knock most of the black off.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 October 2013
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Clint Eastwood Ain't No Dirty Harry

Clint Eastwood, the 83-year-old chair talker, was asked if he plans to marry again as soon as his divorce is final. He replied, "I'm married?"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
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Brett Favre Says That He Is Now The New Brett Favre

Brett Favre says that he thinks he may be over his flirting days as he has not flirted with a much younger woman in 48 hours.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 October 2013
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New Allergy Recorded

Brian Bramhope, holder of the world's longest sneezing fit record, turns out not to have had a permanent cold, as previously thought, but instead an allergy to tissues. "Who knew?" he said.

written by IainB, 08 October 2013
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David Letterman Is Learning How To Use Chopsticks

David Letterman has said that he has received an invitation from Kim Jong Un and his BFF Dennis Rodman to visit North Korea.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2013
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Hey Mrs. Gosselin, Will The Third Time Be Any Different?

Kate Gosselin says she has been taking private dance lessons and would like to get another chance to show her stuff on Dancing With The Stars.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 October 2013
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Headline Reads "Man who set self on fire was mentally ill"

No. Really? Most people assumed it was cold outside.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 11 October 2013
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Larry King Might Not Need The Little Blue Pill

Larry King says that he is so excited about the sucess of his and Regis Philbin's talk show, The Viagra View, that he sometimes gets home and forgets to take his Viagra pill.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
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