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Rating:

Thanksgiving Turkey Hotline #4

"Hello, is this the Turkey Hotline? I'm sorry, I don't understand? You're in Ankara? Sorry."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Thanksgiving Turkey Hotline #3

"Hello, is this the Turkey Hotline? No? This you Helen? Guess I dialed wrong. Sorry. Herbert will get romantic again. Will, tell him to take another one. Sorry."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Thanksgiving Turkey Hotline #2

"Hello is this the Turkey Hotline? Do turkeys ever scream when the over gets real hot? No? George Hawkings, that ain't funny!"

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
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Thanksgiving Turkey Hotline

"Is this the Turkey Hotline? What about the turkey liver, should you eat it if it's flipping around the plate?"

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

The Blair Affair.

Ms Deng ex-wife of Rupert Murdoch has said that she and Tony Blair had an "innocent" relationship.
"We may have slept in the same bed... but nothing happened."

written by Auntie Matter, 26 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #310

According to Snoops: Many conspiracy theorists believe that native Hawaiians made up that women in skimpy grass skirts thing to lure in sailors, whom they ate.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Pope: We must change

We cannot wear the same thing day in and day out. I admit all my clothes look the same but I can honestly say, I change every day. Well, most days.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Oldest Buddhist shrine found in Nepal, say researchers

"We estimate that the old Buddhist was well over a hundred years old! Shrine? Oh at least 600 years old. "Rise and Shrine! That's a little archeology joke."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Grandma, this is not looking good!

Big snow, sleet up eastern coast. "Watch out crossing yard as there are reindeer in the area."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #412

According to Snoops: The early role of Bunny Rabbit on the Captain Kangaroo's Clubhouse was played by a young Ted Nugent.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #411

According to Snoops: Judge Rudolph Smythe was called "The Hanging Judge" after he suffered a really bad rupture of the scrotum during a stagecoach crash.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

72-Year-Old Woman Latest Victim of Knockout?

"Naa! We were just arguing over shopping carts. Mine had a wobble. Hit her with my purse."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Wind may ground Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons.

But Guys in Lawn Chairs could be interesting. One lady in the race this year. Coast Guard placed on alert!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

60 MINUTES ERROR: Lara Logan and Producer to Take Leave of Absence

Maybe ten, fifteen years. Could be longer. "Hell freezes over!'?

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Suppremes to take another crack at Obamacare

This time Dinah Ross to give them a hand.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Young British People name Toronto as Worlds coolest City.

A city with a crack smoking nutjob as Mayor is the idea of cool to must British kids these days.

written by John_L, 26 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #747

According to Snoops: Many historians now believe that Mary Todd Lincoln finally flipped over a Lincoln log while hanging out clothes.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #407

According to Snoops: The phrase "cool as a cucumber" comes from the 1950's when teens often carried a cucumber in their front pocket. This scene was cut from "Happy Days" years later.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

American Held Hostage In Iran For 444 Days Calls Deal 'Foolishness'.

"How can you trust people that want all of us dead? Is everyone nuts or just another campaign move?"

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Can food affect your mood?

Sure. Most are in a foul mood when they have to run to the bathroom every ten minutes!

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Sinkhole opens under Fla. home

For the 31st time this year. Meanwhile in Arkansas, man-made stink holes have claimed over 200 outdoor toilets.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

A rainy, icy, windy, yucky Thanksgiving forecast!

The disgusting, disgustful, repelling, distasteful, foul, loathly, wicked, repellent, revolting, skanky, weather will continue into Thanksgiving Day.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Brian Griffin, Arguably the Smartest Member of the 'Family Guy' Family, Dies at 8

"It will be hard to replace him", says cartoonist. "I mean, the head and body shape and everything is a one time thing." Coroner gives "runoverness" as cause of death.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Taylor Swift wins AMA artist of the year

For the 36th time as the event comes to television 4 times per year. Swift builds two more rooms onto mansion.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #409

According to Snoops: During his five years in college, Woody Allen's mother would go to class with him every day.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #121

According to Snoops: A full 20% of all Tupperware Parties get so out of hand that the police have to be called in.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

The No-Surgery Facelift That Horrifies Surgeons

And most other people when they see what facelifts look like! ("Is that you, Mama?")

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Congress wary, but unlikely to blow up Obama's Iran deal #2

"We have seen the results of these "Peace In Our Time" announcements", says GOP. "Obama is our Chamberlain."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Congress wary, but unlikely to blow up Obama's Iran deal

Iran gets everything they want to continue making nuclear weapons and we get free advertising for the President.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Spooks worry over Snowden 'doomsday' cache.

"I'm just wondering what all the guy has to tell the world about us and our activities", says Caspar Milquetoast.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Egypt takes aim at Brotherhood's foreign backers.

"If they come after our backer crop, we'll fight them tooth and nail", says West Virginian.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Al Gore Goes Pagan!

I'm sorry. That should have read "Al Gore Goes Vegan!" or "Al Gore Still Nutty!" as many would say.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

East Coast Winter Storm Makes Thanksgiving Mess.

Those stranded are encouraged to attend Mess Halls if around military establishments.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

MSN HEADLINE: A RABBI WHOSE GOOD FRIEND BECAME POPE-

I began reading article. It took entirely too long to get to the punchline. I'm not sure if there even was one. Work on your timing, MSN.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 26 November 2013
Rating:

MTV Series Focuses on Lives of Sperm Donor Kids

Like absentee father's children? OHHHH, they mean, like ACTUAL kids that were the product of sperm donation. Yeah, that's relatable to a broad audience. Good job Mtv!

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 26 November 2013
Rating:

SOURCE: Netanyahu Scolded Obama In Phone Call on Iran Deal

"You know good and well they're going to build nuclear bombs and use them. It's not just us. Those oil fields in Saudi Arabia are targeted also."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Uncanny Valley: Phenomenon of Human Distrust of Robots.

"What if they get smarter than us's,"ask Missouri man. "They might take over our whole town of Dork. Might short one out with a pitchfork."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Obama on Iran: "We cannot rule out peaceful solutions"

"I mean, the odds must be heavy that we get one right sometimes."

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

Reid, Boehner hold their fire on Iran nuclear deal - for now

Israel: Yes, but did they promise to hold off their nuke plans?

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
Rating:

New Springsteen track releases

Hear Very Young Springsteen sing: I Wish I Were An Oscar Meyer Wiener, The Gilligan Theme Song, 99 Beers, Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Take Me Out To The Ballgame, Moonlight Bay, I Love Onions and many more.

written by Bureau, 26 November 2013
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