Order by:
Rating:

North Pole Scandal Just Before Christmas!

Apparently several of Santa's little helpers have been reported tweeting naked "Elfie's".

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Oxford English Dictionary Cites "Selfie" 2013 Word of the Year

Oh, how our language has evolved.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 20 November 2013
Rating:

New York City raises legal age for cigarettes to 21

"How in the world are we going to know how old the tobacco is? Do we need a due date?", asks Virginia farmer.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
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Health inflation hits historic low. A victory for Obamacare?

Could it be that is because so many cannot afford to go to a doctor anymore? Just a thought.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #867

According to Snoops: As children in Kentucky young Abraham Lincoln of Hodgenville and Jefferson Davis of Christian County used to have corn cob fights!

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #126

According to Snoops: Ben Franklin's hair was permanently parted after a lightning streak hit him while he was flying a kite in a storm.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
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True Facts From Snoops #122

According to Snoops: Evel Knieval's real name given on birth certificate was Moshi Kibbitzer.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
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FAA to ground fat pilots.

First they came for the cows. Then they came for the horses. Then they came for the fat pilots. Better lay off the ground round for awhile.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

PAPER: Gay marriage momentum comes to sudden halt.

As nearly fifty percent already have been unfaithful!

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

UN climate talks fall apart as 132 countries storm out.

"Forget the year 2050. We need to survive 2014!"

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Secret deal allows NSA to collect, store Britons' personal data.

Queen "not amused" over 75 times just last year.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Obama blames Republicans for unfixed glitches. #2

Also, pimple on Michelle's nose, Harry Reid's moles tunneling under front yard and Water Dog becoming sterile!

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Obama blames Republicans for unfixed glitches.

Also, for big pothole his limo hit yesterday, overflowing commode and daughter's bad grades at school.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Dems Make New Proposal:

Harry Reid: We can create a "draft number" type system to see who gets health care.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

White House: But No Real Damage Done!

Distraught Mom: Son Thinks Feds Planted 'Obamacare' Chip In His Teeth, Cameras In Dog's Eyes. Another: My girls run screaming when he appears on TV.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

White House Finally Admits!

We have created the Mother of All Screw-Ups!

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Small business owner tells Congress health law 'driving me to drink'.

"Of course, before that it was my Mother-in-Law!"

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

ANALYSIS: 50 to 100 million insurance cancellations coming.

You place your bets and you takes your chances. If you get OK from life insurance, you win if you die. If not, you lose.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Tabloids Admit: 'We Invented Paul Flowers: He Doesn't Really Exist'

'The story must have been made up,' said a typical reader. 'It's impossible to have religion, drugs, sex, pornography, prostitution, fraud, political corruption and all the rest in just one story!'

written by Swan Morrison, 20 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #620

According to Snoops: Unknown to most, there's a place in the Las Vegas Airport where you can bet on the chance of the next plane landing safely.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #811

According to Snoops: Charles Manson was once a member of the rock group "Manfred Manson".

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Police Release Figures For Their Manipulation Of Crime Figures

'Our figures show,' a police spokesman confirmed to the BBC, 'that there are no recorded instances of crime figures being manipulated by the police.'

written by Swan Morrison, 20 November 2013
Rating:

California pastor upset that Costco files Bible under fiction

Costco Manager: It was a mistake but at least we didn't put a copy of the Koran over there. We might be dead now.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Chicago woman hopes to turn things around after 396 arrests

"Jails are no fun place but better than freezing your tush off! It's cold out there."

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Wallet and cellphone save D.C. man from bullet

"But it ruined my ten-year-old condom."

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

First lady: Obama sings in bathroom

"Or I guess you could call that noise singing. Whatever it is, it's turning my hair white too."

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Chi-Chi Rodriguez hit in groin by golf ball

Does the Cha-Cha-Cha for ten minutes in front of crowd and cameras.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Fired Wal-Mart workers may be re-hired

And they have been promised back-pay of $200 each for month they were off.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Obamacare website bypass coming?

After over 50 heart attacks due to people having insurance dropped & frustration over getting a call through.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Rep. pleads guilty to coke charge

"I told the storekeeper that I wanted a real coke with sugar, not that high fructose corn syrup junk they switched to in the 1980's & he just laughed. So I hit him over the head with it."

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #888

According to Snoops: Since Campbell's Alphabet Soup has taken the "P" out of it product, sales have jumped by 10%.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
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True Facts From Snoops #910

According to Snoops: The Great Wall of China began with one man who decided that he was tired of his next door neighbor looking into his window from his own and others caught onto the idea.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Wife Hoping For Baby Wants Husband To Stop Using Drugs

He takes Viagra, Levitra, Cialis and testosterone pills. He's wearing us both out.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Florida city uproots couple's 17-year-old garden new ordinance #2

How about Michelle's garden up there in Washington? First they encourage us to grow one and then they make it illegal.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Florida city uproots couple's 17-year-old garden, over new ordinance

"At least we know what to do with any rotting tomatoes", couple. We have invited our neighbors to take some too. We'll be attending political events this year.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Another CA city mulls bankruptcy.

It's Hollywood! "We have been bankrupt morally for many years but now it's financially", says Spokesman.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Rand Paul: Chris Christie embraces Obamacare.

But has yet to be able to get through to obtain it, even though he doesn't have to call, just walk in. "Line a mile long!"

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

US May Have Let 'Dozens' of Terrorists Into Country As Refugees.

Over the past twenty years! Many more home grown!

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

CBSNEWS Poll: Obama crashes to 37%

Hair also 37% white and changing fast.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Washington Computers Biggest Hacking to Date

"We are your enemies, not China!" it reads. Administration says it has figured out who is doing this.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Plans in DC Cover Abortion, Not Hearing Aids.

As is being reported on hacked Washington websites.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Santa Claus Admits to Having Nuclear Weapons

"I have a family, wife, employees and pets to protect", says the Jolly Old Man.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Now All You Have to do is:

Whoops! Healthcare Site Crashes While Sebelius Tries To Sign Person Up At Media Event.

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
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Bing Predicts a White Christmas

Tory Australian adviser, Bing Crosby, has told David Cameron to prepare for A White Christmas. It is likely to be No 1 over the Christmas period

written by j.w., 20 November 2013
Rating:

SHOOT!

There's used to be a magazine called Shoot. Should be dug up for the England team.

written by j.w., 20 November 2013
Rating:

Richland Bride Goes to Jail for Biting Her Groom

This may be a good illustration that couples may want to set some ground rules before consummation of the marriage. The foreplay apparently got a little out of hand.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 20 November 2013
Rating:

New at the Nursery: Tomato + Potato = TomTato

This is going to be even more befuddling when trying to explain the difference between "Tomato" and "Potato" to toddlers.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Mexican President Denies Meeting Justin Bieber

Recently Justin Bieber tweeted: "just met some amazing mexican beliebers and the presidente of mexico and his familia."

Bieber did not realize that he had been traveling much further south.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Study: Kids Less Fit Than Parents Were

The primary factor is that parents in the past told their kids to go outside and play.

written by Tony Bagodonutz, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Exclusive: Syria's chemical weapons may be destroyed at sea

"Sure', says spokesman for Greenpeace. "Why don't you mix them with the stuff emptying out of the nuclear plants in Japan?"

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
Rating:

Another Drunk Now Homeless

Drunk staggers home to dumpster to find squatters have taken control of it. "Rite thare are tha dregz of sosiety-ty!"

written by Bureau, 20 November 2013
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