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True Facts From Snoops #123

According to Snoops: The first "In House" arrest at Macy's was after a near-sighted lady got into a terrible fight with a mannequin.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #994

According to Snoops: The message "No animals were injured during this movie" doesn't tell you what happened after the movie to those that were edible.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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Is the Affordable Care Act in serious jeopardy?

"I'll defend it even if it brings down the whole country", says Nancy Pelosi. Finds her insurance has been dropped.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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Luci Baines Johnson reflects on Kennedy assassination

"I remember thinking, Dad is President of the United States. Ho Boy!"

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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As The Drone Turns

Bullied Drone turns on the ones his tormentors.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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'DUCK DYNASTY' endorsed Republican wins House seat.

Patriot Party say they would support any Duck Dynasty member running for office.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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Redskins Team Bus Egged On Way To Stadium In Philly

Philadelphia's Crazy Crackedbell leads the attack. Buses form a circle.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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The Ever Mumbling Sylvester Stallone

Sylvester Stallone has admitted that he was cured of his mumbling years ago, but his agent told him to continue the mumbling act because that was his trademark.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 November 2013
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Tommy Lee Jones Should Best Be Ignored

Tommy Lee Jones has been named The Grouchiest Actor of The Decade. Jones has been known to actually bite fans who requested his autograph.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 November 2013
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J.Lo Rules (That's For Sure)

Jennifer Lopez has stated that since she is 18 years older than her boy toy Casper Smart, she is the one who gets to wear the pants and have all of the say.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 November 2013
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The New Antonio Banderas

Antonio Banderas, who is 53, has said that he is changing his name to the anglicized version; Tony Flags.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 November 2013
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Woody "All In The Family" Allen

Woody Allen has revealed in an interview with Barbara Walters that before he married his step-daughter he had planned to marry his grandmother but didn't because she was not that good a cook.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 November 2013
Rating:

Co-op Bank ex-boss Paul Flowers 'filmed buying drugs'

He said that he was attempting to put himself in a position to stand against Boris Johnson as Mayor of London using a strategy copied from Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.

written by John_L, 17 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #804

According to Snoops: Socrates first name was Wesley.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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True Facts From Snoops #244

According to Snoops: Perry Como was the first white artist to record the old classic, "Dem Ole Blues Don Got 'Hold A Me".

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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Test drone hits Navy ship; 2 hurt

Don't tell me were buying our military supplies from North Korea now! China asking too much?

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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Kentucky Thief Asks For Help

"Why yes, I'd be happy to jump your car battery, if you would empty the back seat and truck of my chickens!"

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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NASA's newest Mars flyer will explore atmosphere

"Since we haven't the funding to land the sucker", gripes one employee.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

Kyle Hunter's Saturday Weather Forecast

"Well, it's all according to where you are living, isn't it?"
(I was not due to come on for another half hour. Hair a mess, eating a doughnut and drinking coffee should really help the show!)

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #233

According to Snoops: The "Unfinished Portrait" by Van Gogh happened when he just 'had to go!' a half dozen times while trying to complete it.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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True Facts From Snoops #711

According to Snoops: The first report of jazz "skatting" was when a young John Coltrane's cat ran under his feet while recording a demo.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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Thousands rally in Australia for climate action

Hit by streak of lightning!

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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App turns smartphone into personal panic button, alert system.

Slices, dices, great for juicing, irons your clothes while still on a hanger.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

ESPN Host: 'I Use N-Word All Day Every Day'.

"Nag! Nag! Nag! That's all I hear. I can't help it if my co-host is absolutely gorgeous. 'Now' what did I say?"

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

New Scientology building has entire floor where members can get 'super powers'.

Whole army of nerds spotted headed in that direction!

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

Gunman robs 90-year-old outside church.

Across the street from soup kitchen & mission near leprosy colony, & also takes her last can of tripe from pocket. Police say he'll have to serve the full two-weeks in jail if ever caught. No Parole!

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

Princeton Considering Using Non-U.S. Approved Vaccine To Battle Meningitis Outbreak.

Good idea. We'll be years in deciding what kind of health help we can offer our own people.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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REPORT: Israel working with Saudis on Iran strike plan.

"Since we 're not receiving the help we need from the U.S."

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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OPRAH: Many Americans Disrespect Obama because he's African American.

She is immediately sued by Aretha Franklin for stealing her song line. "Oh. I've been waiting for this. That woman needs to know she's not all that!"

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

North America's largest ski resort to open early 'thanks to oodles of snow'.

"We're glad this Big Boocoo come in so we can open a couple weeks early", says Ski Lodge manager.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

College football player 'viciously' beaten by members of opposing team

Huge Pile-up! Witnesses say that the whole team and perhaps coaches and college bus drivers piled onto him in the parking lot. "There must have been 5 refs whistling but no sirens for 45 minutes."

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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NJ legislature advances bill to grant financial aid to illegals.

Tells immigrants that are here legally, "Sorry, you messed up by studying and becoming an American citizen."

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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Money sent by US immigrants to Latin America more than doubled since '00.

That could be the fact that there are twice as many immigrants here since 2000.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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Doctors warn superbugs could erase century of medical advances

Especially with the windmill energy killing 600,000 bats a year. Someone needs to send out the "Batman" Signal!

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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Scams rise sharply as fraudsters use law to exploit elderly.

"At least we're safe with the Gecko/Duck Insurance Company", says one Old-Timer.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #230

According to Snoops: The ancient Aztecs thought it was bad luck for a 25-foot Anaconda to cross in front of you.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

Barack Obama Loses Arm In Bazooka Battle.

After deciding to join the military over night, without media coverage. Barack Obama has had his arm blown off by a bazooka.

written by Lord Alcoholiam2, 17 November 2013
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True Facts From Snoops #755

According to Snoops: On 911, the Pentagon survivors were especially grateful that the plane didn't land on the Starbucks wing of the Pentagon.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
Rating:

True Facts From Snoops #366

According to Snoops: Cheech and Chong slowed down on the drugs after friend Chuck (Manson) flipped out for good.

written by Bureau, 17 November 2013
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