Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 20 March 2013
It's Adios and Goodbye To Chuck E. Cheese
In the interest of gender equality, the Chuck E. Cheese Corporation has just announced that the company mascot Chuck E. Cheese will have sexual reassignment surgery and become Chelsea E. Cheese.
Dr. Pepper Is Expanding
The Dr. Pepper Company has decided to go into the condiment business and states that it will soon be selling Dr. Pepper Pepper.
The Avocado Salads Just Won't Taste The Same
Due to the verbal jousting between Russia and Guatemala, the Central American country says that it will be removing all bottles of Russian Salad Dressing from its grocery store shelves.
The Astounding Rumor About Kate Middleton's Baby
The rumor that Kate Middleton AKA The Duchess of Cambridge will name her baby, Bubba, if it's a boy, has as yet not been denied by Buckingham Palace
Bad News For The Rock Dudes
South Dakota has announced that state budget cuts could force it to sell Mount Rushmore.
Well There Went The Parade
America's smallest St. Patrick's Day Parade was held in Tucson and it featured two bagpipers, a bosomy Hooter's girl dressed as a tall leprechaun, and three homeless people each carrying a shamrock.
Lindsay Lohan Is One Lucky-As-Hell Spoiled Brat
Every time Lindsay Lohan is sentenced to prison she gets out of it because of prison overcrowding. Either build more friggin prisons or let one inmate out to make room for the Hollywood prima donna.
Anna Welker's Rocky Mountain Comment
Anna Welker, wife of ex-New England Patriot Wes Welker and now member of the Denver Broncos, says that Colorado snow smells a whole lot nicer than Massachusetts snow.
The Luck of The Non-Irish
Arizona Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio arrested three Navajo Indians for celebrating St. Patrick's Day.
The Amazingly Amazing Russian Ballerina
A Russian ballerina named Valentina Pavlovsky, 19, has danced non-stop all the way from Moscow to Zurich, Switzerland (1,367 miles) while just drinking water and eating Hostess Twinkies.
Obama licks Israeli butts!
"I am a Berliner" Kennedy. "I am a Palestinian hater" Obama... Get the message?
The majority of people asked what they would like to hear George Osbourne say today gave one reply
"We'd really like to hear him give a resignation speech."