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Rating:

It's Adios and Goodbye To Chuck E. Cheese

In the interest of gender equality, the Chuck E. Cheese Corporation has just announced that the company mascot Chuck E. Cheese will have sexual reassignment surgery and become Chelsea E. Cheese.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 March 2013
Rating:

Dr. Pepper Is Expanding

The Dr. Pepper Company has decided to go into the condiment business and states that it will soon be selling Dr. Pepper Pepper.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 March 2013
Rating:

The Avocado Salads Just Won't Taste The Same

Due to the verbal jousting between Russia and Guatemala, the Central American country says that it will be removing all bottles of Russian Salad Dressing from its grocery store shelves.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 March 2013
Rating:

The Astounding Rumor About Kate Middleton's Baby

The rumor that Kate Middleton AKA The Duchess of Cambridge will name her baby, Bubba, if it's a boy, has as yet not been denied by Buckingham Palace

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 March 2013
Rating:

Bad News For The Rock Dudes

South Dakota has announced that state budget cuts could force it to sell Mount Rushmore.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 March 2013
Rating:

Well There Went The Parade

America's smallest St. Patrick's Day Parade was held in Tucson and it featured two bagpipers, a bosomy Hooter's girl dressed as a tall leprechaun, and three homeless people each carrying a shamrock.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 March 2013
Rating:

Lindsay Lohan Is One Lucky-As-Hell Spoiled Brat

Every time Lindsay Lohan is sentenced to prison she gets out of it because of prison overcrowding. Either build more friggin prisons or let one inmate out to make room for the Hollywood prima donna.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 March 2013
Rating:

Anna Welker's Rocky Mountain Comment

Anna Welker, wife of ex-New England Patriot Wes Welker and now member of the Denver Broncos, says that Colorado snow smells a whole lot nicer than Massachusetts snow.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 March 2013
Rating:

The Luck of The Non-Irish

Arizona Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio arrested three Navajo Indians for celebrating St. Patrick's Day.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 March 2013
Rating:

The Amazingly Amazing Russian Ballerina

A Russian ballerina named Valentina Pavlovsky, 19, has danced non-stop all the way from Moscow to Zurich, Switzerland (1,367 miles) while just drinking water and eating Hostess Twinkies.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 20 March 2013
Rating:

Obama licks Israeli butts!

"I am a Berliner" Kennedy. "I am a Palestinian hater" Obama... Get the message?

written by Jaggedone, 20 March 2013
Rating:

The majority of people asked what they would like to hear George Osbourne say today gave one reply

"We'd really like to hear him give a resignation speech."

written by John_L, 20 March 2013
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