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Rating:

Syrian Regime, Rebels Step up Offensives

With each side joined by approximately 30 countries each, while seeking a peace agreement.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

97-Year-Old Graduate Springs Into Action

The 97-year-old man from New York who just received his high school diploma last week, predicts that he won't survive his first Spring Break. "But what a way to go", he told the press.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Palin At It Again

Sarah Palin has been rehired by Fox News after she quit last year. When confronted with these facts, she quit.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Solar-Powered Cellphone Charging Stations Invade NYC

City warns company to place "Do Not Stick Tongue To Poles" during winter signs on each.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

New Network Closes In Three Days

"The View At The Nudist Colony" with live camera going 24 hours a day closes after it sickens hundreds of teens.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Air traffic reveal control audio of NYC planes' near-miss!

"There are no 'near-misses', only 'near-collisions'", as stated by the late George Carlin. "If they had nearly missed, they would have collided!"

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Food Network won't renew Paula Deen's contract

"Fatass whitey won't be working here anymore and good luck selling anymore cookbooks", says network owner.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

The world's most affordable places to retire?

Apparently number one once again is Haiti. "All you need is a couple hundred bucks."

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Who Would Name A Baby "North West"?

Apparent Kim Kardashian and Kanye West...Alfred Hitchcock.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Will dirigibles make a comeback?

Will turkeys learn to fly from helicopters? The humanity!

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

More About Tomorrow Morning's Supermoon!

Nerds reported head for Metropolis, Illinois to view the backside of their superhero.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Supermoon rising: Get up early!

Al Gore has been told this for the past two weeks but if he does freak out, please ignore knocks on your door with someone screaming "It's here! Here come the big tides!"

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Kerry aims to shift balance in Syria!

All it will take is a nod of that big head. "That's how Ted Kennedy did it", tells reporters.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Why we love the gangster life

It's a trick. Don't answer this. Don't click on above or you're up the river for sure.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Hanford nuclear site may be leaking!

Sheer panic breaks out all over the United States as crowds head to the highways while asking each other, "Where in the ***** is HANFORD?".

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

$100 Million Research Project Ends

Funding finally cut on 40 year study after it's revealed that only 27% of inch worms in the U.S. have switched to the metric system.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

White House doesn't have 'figure on costs' of Africa trip

But promise complete records will be turned over by 2016.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Meanwhile In The Mountains of Afghanistan

Taliban delay peace talks after after huge computer glitch.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Baseball Games Keep Getting Longer

Crowd gets restless as guest singer Leonard Cohen sings 12-minute Star Spangled Banner.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Another Miracle?

Man who jumped out window of 39th floor near Stock Exchange caught by window washer on 38th floor.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Special Report:

Think Tank & MENSA President Albert Van Hawking admits to taking steroids!

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Paula Deen to add new item to menu

Embattled celebrity chef Paula Deen, known for her Southern cooking and racism, has announced the addition of a new item to her menu: soul food. She hopes the new dish will win over "the black folks."

written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Bethenny Frankel explains why she became a mom

Celebrity chef Bethenny Frankel told The Spoof that she had a baby so she could display her "boobs in public" while "feeding my brat." A nudist at heart, she is willing to do "whatever" to go topless.

written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Nik Wallenda promises "oohs" and "ahhs"

Nik Wallenda will attempt suicide by walking across the Grand Canyon without a net in an "insane feat" to air live on the Discovery Channel. "For what we're paying, we expect a slip," promoters said.

written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Brazil stuns the world with an angry undercurrent

"We were just hanging around the bar as usual and kept seeing all these marches on TV and so Jose there says, "Why can't WE do that?", says marcher, who was with the group carrying "Whatever" signs.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Govt to map your 'every move

Especially if you're a really built female.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Loophole Slipped Into 'Deal' Creates Permanent Amnesty for Illegals

Trades Texas, Arizona, New Mexico for Cancun, Baja and oil wells on bottom of Gulf to be named later.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Obama meets with private watchdog panel -- in private.

Secret Privates Recording: "Hey, that greyhound DOES have a whopper but check out this Saint Bernard."

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Iceland-Bound Jet for Snowden 'Could Take Off Tomorrow'...

CIA is being extra careful that Snowden doesn't slip away and hide himself in the ice.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Snoops True Facts #4

To a person who is letter blind, the letter "B" looks just like the letter "V" or vice versa if I got that backwards.

written by Bureau, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Chris Christie angers everyone but Democrats

Gov. Chris Christie (R) may bankrupt his state by forcing it to pay $24 million for a special election to choose who replaces dead U. S. Sen. Lautenberg (D), when he could stack the deck for nothing.

written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Paula Deen apologizes for racist slur

Celebrity chef Paula Deen apologized to the Food Network for using a racist slur, saying "I wish I'd never heard of black people!" (except, instead of "black people," she used a racist slur).

written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
Rating:

Eddie Murphy makes racist comment about his main squeeze

Alleged comedian Eddie Murphy recently made a racist comment about his bikini-clad Caucasian girlfriend, Paige Butcher, describing the blonde bombshell as "white hot." Murphy has since apologized.

written by Gee Pee, 22 June 2013
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