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Personal Side of Superman Revealed

The new Superman movie reveals that Superman also has some of the same personal problems as other men. However, when it comes to emotions, Spiderman still remains the granddaddy of them all.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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DOW's Worst Day of the Year

The Dow Jones industrial has erased more than 550 points in two days after Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke indicated the United States has been broke since 1978.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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Nuther Rapper Gone

Los Angeles Rapper "Little Holes" dies from apparent gun fight over cheeseburger.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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Drug price rise angers patients!

"We don't need to build anymore walls between U.S. and Mexico', say elderly. "They're gonna have just as many people going there for cheaper drugs as they are coming here."

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

No More Border Fences?

The U.S. & Mexico may remove all border fences. In exchange for freedom of Mexican families to visit relatives for up to 6 months, Mexican Drug Lords have offered to pay off the US $16 Trillion Debt.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

NYC Bike Sharing

Traffic cops in NYC say that the "Share A Bike" is off to a good start. Also, several sports stores say it's helped their economy as they can hardly keep bike seat covers in stock.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Charles Saatchi never laid a finger on me, says ex-wife

No statement yet from another ex, Rihanna.

written by radiogagger, 20 June 2013
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Several Injured in New Jersey This Afternoon

Several customers at "The Beast Trough" Restaurant in New Jersey were injured today by flying pieces of food as Chris Christie's stapled stomach became stretched past it's limit.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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According To Snoops #2

Snoops True Facts: The first person atop Mt. Everest was Ham, son of Noah. "As the water receded, Ham asked Noah about stepping outside the Ark and so he did." (Thus the expression "Hamming it up!").

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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Why Sedona?

When mystics questioned about why so many of them like to live in or near Sedona, most admit that it's the air. "The thin air makes levitation so much easier', stated Guru Billy Joe Bratcher.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Mass hysteria outbreaks hit Bangladesh's garment workers

Urban legend of giant anaconda crawling out of pant's zipper finally reaches Bangladesh.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

McDonald's franchise sued

A McDonald's franchise, owned and operated by Ronald McDonald (no relation to the clown, as far as The Spoof knows), was sued for requiring employees to use a high-fee ATM card to access their pay.

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

GPS Leads Woman Onto Railroad Tracks, Minivan Destroyed

After Margaret Moore and two kids made it out safely she told the police, "I hated for the girls to hear 'Dora' screaming like that when the train made contact."

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Dems start Obama to Clinton transition!

And man, is he/she ugly. GOP could win with a warthog!

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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Human organs 'could be grown in animals within year'!

And before we get a million requests, we are not including donkeys as that would be growing animal parts in humans.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Searchers Fear The Worst

Searchers for the missing 88-year-old hiker Nana Woodcock, who disappeared in the Great Smoky Mountains last week, say they fear the worst after finding Ms. Nana's mood ring in some bear poop.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Nerds Hold Bachelor Party

Some 27 nerds showed up to give CPA Ronald "Mousey" Wimpee a bachelor party in Bowling Green, Ky. Tuesday night. "It was wild", Wimpee told local reporter. "There was a laptop dancer and everything."

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

India grapples with deadly 'Himalayan tsunami'!

Al Gore: "See. I warned you that the waves were going to get higher!"

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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Fashion icons Dolce, Gabbana convicted of tax crime!

Placed on suicide watch after being told they will be wearing same clothing as every other prisoner every single day.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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According To Latest Hidden Cameras

Time is running out for Edward Snowden, the man who leaked details of secret U.S. surveillance programs. As FBI agents gather more evidence against him, Snowden is hiding out in Hong Kong.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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NJ bans trash talking in high school sports!

"We don't need that kind of garbage around here", says coach, who is immediately fired over using the word 'garbage'.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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Erin Brady crowned Miss USA; no one cares

Miss Connecticut, Erin Brady, was recently crowned Miss USA, but no one tuned in to watch the ceremony. Instead, viewers' eyes were glued to Canada's Naked News TV anchors' reports on world events.

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Serena Williams: rape is parents' fault

Tennis superstar Serena Williams says a 16-year-old girl's rape by her school's football team is the girl's parents' fault: "They should have brought her up better. Instead, they raised a slut."

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Castro scheduled for trial

Unable to capture Fidel, the U. S. has settled, instead, for persecuting Ariel Fidel, who kept women as a harem of sex slaves, sexually assaulting them between their performance of domestic chores.

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Little Rock Evacuated

Bulletin: Little Rock, Arkansas has just been evacuated after city policeman finds suspicious looking white powder on his doughnut.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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Michelle Obama on world tour

Michelle Obama, searching for her roots, visited Ireland and Germany. Next stop? Africa. "My family came from somewhere other than a plantation," she said, "and I am going to find out where."

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

FBI cannot find Jimmy Hoffa

A search for Teamster boss Jimmy Hoffa's remains in a field identified by a Mafia insider has failed to deliver. Disappointed, President Obama ordered, "Dig a little deeper!"

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Putin steals, sells Super Bowl ring

Having stolen the New England Patriots owner's Super Bowl championship ring, Russian president, KGB kleptomaniac Vladimir Putin, plans to pawn it once it has been displayed in the Kremlin.

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

New York Post: Mobster Fondly Recalls Mother

"That Mom was something else. Actually, I think she was dad, hiding from the Feds."

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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Message found in bottle after 97 years underwater goes on display!

Message reads: "So you couldn't have left me just 3 more years in the water?"

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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Obama commits to 'tough push' on global warming!

Meanwhile, China and Russia commit to 'tight tush' on global warming.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Afghan Now Say They May Join Talks

KABUL, Afghanistan: An Afghan spokesman says President Hamid Karzai has had his mind changed overnight and will join in US/Taliban talks, "Although he mainly just screams "BRAINS!!".

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Actor James Gandolfini, 51, dies of cardiac arrest!

Spokesman says "His heart failed suddenly during garroting joke. Some people just can't take a joke."

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

FBI Foils Plot To Build Strange X-Ray Weapon, Possibly Targeting President Obama

"It's an X-Ray Machine, you idiots", says 'Plotter'. "It probably HAS killed thousands but it's a common X-Ray machine. I wanna see a Lawyer/doctor."

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Study: 70 Percent Of Americans On Prescription Drugs

Apparently other 30% making their own prime stuff at home.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Obamacare behind schedule as Oct. 1 rollout nears

"I don't remember saying which particular 'year' it will be completely ready", smiles President.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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Courtney Stodden shows plastic surgeon's handiwork

Teen bride Courtney Stodden promised her mom she'd never go naked, and, in showing off her new Double-D boobs, she hasn't broken that vow: "Theyre not mine," she said. "They're my plastic surgeon's."

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Brazilian bus fares cut

A recent rise in Brazilian bus fares sparked violent protests, followed by widespread boycotts. As a result, fares have been cut, and passengers need pay only two hens and a goat during rush hour.

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

George Zimmer fired

Stripped of his position by the ingrates on the board of directors of the company he founded, Men's Warehouse CEO George Zimmer plans to sell clothes out of his car's trunk. "Maybe thongs," he said.

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

James Gandolfini dies

As the result of a suspected mob hit, James Gandolfini, godfather of the notorious Soprano crime family, died while on "vacation" in Rome, Italy. He was 51.

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Japan announces 416 new jobs

Japan has created 416 new jobs in Larne, County Antrim, (Northern Ireland, for you Yanks). "Someone has to make bedpans," Japanese PM Shinzo Abe said, "and Japanese just won't do that kind of work."

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Egg thief threatens endangered birds

England is known for its eccentrics, but one bloke's fancy for the eggs of an endangered bird species threatens little terns with extinction. The queen begs the thief to give hen's eggs a try instead.

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Dolce and Gabbana design new fashion line

Italian fashion designers Dolce and Gabbana, recently convicted of tax evasion and facing prison time, have launched a new line of apparel for "inmates who want to look stylish."

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Obesity a disease

Bowing to pressure from First Lady Michelle Obama, the AMA voted to declare obesity a disease, calling for Michael Moore's execution, even as it vastly increased its potential patient population.

written by Gee Pee, 20 June 2013
Rating:

Afghan government to shun US talks with Taliban

Also Amish, Mennonites, Quakers, Extraterrestrials.

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
Rating:

New Virus Found in Middle East Could Be Deadlier Than SARS!

Apparently it starts by dulling your brain and spreads rapidly and you're dead within 24 hours but I don't care. Hah Hah Hah!

written by Bureau, 20 June 2013
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