Spoof news snippets from Friday 14 June 2013
Beady Eye announce their next few albums
Liam Gallagher has said his new band, Beady Eye, will name their first album Be. "The next will be called Ad," said Gallagher, "then we'll have two more both called Ye. Then I'll quit in a strop."
Matt Smith is to cease being the Doctor
When Matt Smith retires from the BBC's Doctor Who, his replacement will be Sanjeev Bhaskar, from the Kumars at 42. "Well," said Sanjeev, "It's to reflect proportion of Asian doctors."
Up the Khyber!
Prince Williams DNA test has proved Indian ancestry.....stick him in the curry!
Mr Henry Balcock of Sandgate today anounced to a world waiting with abated breath that he had his 4,123,968,571st thought today. When asked what it was, he replied "Fuck off and leave me alone!"
The Reason Illegal Aliens Are Staying Away
The U.S. Border Patrol stated the influx of illegal aliens is down by 17 percent. They say it's because illegal aliens do not want to come to a country that listens in on your phone conversations.
The Twittering Omarosa
The woman that Donald Trump made famous, Omarosa, has announced that her Twitter followers number has just gone up to 3.
Mick Jagger Can Still Rock 'n Roll Like The Youngsters
Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger who is 68, proudly boasted that he has groupies between the ages of 21 and 71.
Governor Chris Christie's Amazing Weight Goal
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie says that regarding his diet, he wants to get to the point where people start saying that he looks anorexic.
The Big Change At Homeland Security
The government in a move to be more politically correct is considering changing the name of Homeland Security to Homeland Semi-Security.
Emily Dreamworld has been named Britain's top social worker for using the word "Disenfranchised" more than anyone else in the nation.