Order by:
Rating:

Stonewall Werfel Testifies

Congress accuses IRS Director Werfel of hindering its probe into unfairly targeting Tea Party groups and other conservative groups.
"We're innocent and that's all I'm saying," Werfel stated.

written by S.A. Merk, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Park Rangers Have The Runs

Near-By Boy Scout Group being questioned after Park Rangers have the bellyaches and then the tourists complain as Tampered-With-Brownies causing a mess at Mount Flushmore.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Another Al Gore G.W. Warning

"It will soon be so hot that Death From Chaffing will be the number one cause of death!"

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Discovery: Monica Lewinsky was paid by Insurance Company

She was apparently head of the stress management team.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Spelunkers In Mammoth Cave Discover Huge Gold Mine

"Let's not tell the Republicans", warns expedition leader.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

ABC News Having Problems

Diane Sawyer giggles like a 14-year-old every time someone reports on Weiner!

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

PETA at it again

Now they're protesting that we are stereotyping dogs by calling them mutts, leg-humpers, bitches.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Ringo Upset!

Ghosts of John and George visit during the night to point and laugh!

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Tornado Chasers

Tornado Chaser's radio goes dead. Last seen circling the mall or what used to be the mall.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Overheard During Egyptian Protests

"Now let's go over this one more time. We are against the one in power now and also the one three leaders ago! Abdul, will you hush about Nasser?"

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Detroit home priced at $1 sits on the market for 519 days

"The thing is full of haints", say local. "You can hear things over there at night. I's feared to death just to walks by."

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Another Change in Volcabulary

From now on the Chicago White Sox and the Boston Red Sox will be known as "Sox of Color #1 and #2". "Atlanta Tribe Folks" next?

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Pass The Caviar Please

Hillary Clinton, Obama lunch at the White House. Tell people not allowed to tour White House that economy is just too bad. "You got the 'too bad' part right", Mrs Wiener..Clinton!" yell heard.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Several suspected Nazi war criminals stuck in U.S. limbo

"But we know where they are going to after limbo", smiles Nazi hunter!

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Taliban frees 25 "dangerous terrorists" from Pakistan jail

Kill all the Taliban that freed them first. Animals seek cover under, behind objects. "They're a mean bunch", says Joe Biden.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Kerry sets 9-month goal for Mideast peace talks

"And we will strictly begin countdown...oh...whenever!"

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Appeals court strikes down NYC ban on large sodas

Pulls out a Big Gulp and toasts the large crowd in back and outside!

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Bradley Manning acquitted of aiding the enemy

Also, Eli and Peyton Manning acquitted of not playing their best ball games last season!

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Keanu Reeves Kidnapped

Son of the late Dennis Hopper has kidnapped his fathers Speed co-star Keanu Reeves in order to "finish dads work". Reeves must now maintain a speed of 7mph or his rectal explosives will be detonated.

written by Sam Sage, 30 July 2013
Rating:

USDA has paid millions to dead farmers - audit

Considering digging them up and taking away rings, gold teeth and other valuables.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

US To Declassify Documents

United States to declassify documents on spy programs, surveillance court and flying pigs.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

4-year-old with IQ of 145 becomes Mensa's newest member

Only words we in the crowd could make out were "life forms" "string theory" and "Thank you" and that came to us from news helicopter. Except for the "Thank you" the rest went right over our heads.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

This Year's Snaggletooth People Meeting News

It was announced this morning that this year's Snaggletooth Peoples Conference will be just outside Mount Brushmore. This comes from our secretary, Flossie.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Queen Elizabeth explains herself

After angering two-thirds of her countrymen for endorsing gay marriage legislation, Her Majesty has explained her motivation: "I'm afraid a few royals may want to marry someone of their own sex."

written by Gee Pee, 30 July 2013
Rating:

San Diego mayor agrees to therapy for "sex addiction"

San Diego mayor Bob Filner (D, naturally), agreed to undergo therapy for his alleged "sex addiction," provided that the city pay for it. "It's important that the world hears my story," he said.

written by Gee Pee, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Justin Bieber's bus arrested

Teen idol Justin Bieber's magical mystery tour bus was arrested for posession of marijuana and drug paraphenalia, but he was not aboard. "I'd had enough the night before," he said.

written by Gee Pee, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Amish Vote Completed

Yes, says Brother Sparadime, you CAN use a squirrel running in a wheel to light one bulb for whoopee.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Florida Lady Has 16th Baby

She has had so many c-sections that the doctors had a zipper installed.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Real Madrid step up the chase for Gareth Bale

A spokesman for the La Liga Club today confirmed that Real Madrid will formally change their name to Rhyl Madrid in an attempt to make the Welsh footballer feel at home in Spain.

written by radiogagger, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Flash floods in West Yorkshire

No need to show off. Floods would have been enough.

written by radiogagger, 30 July 2013
Rating:

North Korea living in the past

"They're shooting rockets into the ocean, having huge parades and living in caves", says visitor.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Pope on gays: 'Who am I to judge?'

Bishop: "I wish he would get off the gays. It's not helping our reputation any!"

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Deposed Egyptian leader gets visitor

"It was midnight and 'Pharoah The Boat Ashore' came by about the mummies." quotes visitor. "I think they have been giving him LSD."

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Baton Rouge sheriff accused of targeting gay men for arrest

Making them squeal like pigs say other prisoners from other cells.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Latest NFL News From Training Camps:

11% are now injured, 5% in jail or prison. Should be an interesting season.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Robber raids Carlton Hotel.

Pope Francis: Who am I to judge?

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner's wife meets with Hillary Clinton

The wife of the other Wiener!

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

10 suspected Nazi war criminals ordered out of U.S. never left.

"Silly Americans helped bury body of Moe Howard", says dying 124 year old Hitler.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Kerry Can't Find Obama to Report Lack of Progress

Aids say he is off to Chattanooga for previous engagement on golf course.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Kerry Conference Off To Bad Start

Palestinian Leader's 'Final Resolution': Not 'a Single Israeli on Our Lands'.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner Shrinking In The Poles!

Down to 5% the farther north you go. Could be climate.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Bill Clinton Confesses

Earlier in my life, I think I would had liked being named "Weiner" or maybe "The Weiner"!

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Bill and Hillary Clinton are 'livid' at comparisons to Weiner's sexcapades and Huma's forgiveness

Make us look like we're 70 years old! Note: (Actually, they are getting very close to 70).

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

POLL: Younger Women Love Weiner

"You get older, you begin looking more to the kids and grandkids, food, etc", says 55-year-old teacher.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Latest Fad In Dieting

A new procedure has helped several study subjects lose weight. The process involves shrinking the mouth. "It's time we got right to the source", states surgeon.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

How Many Code Names Does One Guy Need?

The Anthony Weiner Scandal keeps getting more and more confusing. Now it seems that Wiener's code name Carlos Danger also has a code name, Pablo Penis.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Joan Rivers Needs A Road Map To Find Some of Her Body Parts

Joan Rivers who recently turned 80, says that after so much plastic surgery her cleavage has now ended up with a belly button on it.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Say Bro Don't Worry, It's Just A Cat

A group of MIT scientists have discovered a way to make dogs meow. They say it will come in handy in K-9 undercover work.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Gary "The Space Cadet" Busey Is At It Again

Gary Busey has asked Donald Trump to lend him $1.3 million. He says he wants to build a space ship and explore Jupiter.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Stacy Keibler Knew How To Work George Clooney

Stacy Keibler was asked now that she and George Clooney have ended their relationship what does she miss the most about him. She winked and said, "Wrestling with him and always letting him win."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Kat Von D Has More Tattoos Than Alaska Has Eskimos

Kat Von D says that when she runs out of tattoo space, (which will be sometime in November) she will start getting ink art done on her esophagus.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Rating:

The Return of Clint Eastwood

Clint Eastwood, who is 83, has just been offered a starring role in a remake of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Movie bosses are changing the name to The Good, The Bad, and The Old As The Dickens.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Rating:

The Number of Weiners Is Unbelievable

The Guinness Book of World Records has just stated that the Weiner jokes have just surpassed the combined number of Polish, Ethiopian, George Bush, Sarah Palin, and blonde jokes.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Even Barefoot, Nicole Kidman Still Towers Over Hubby Keith Urban

The statuesque Nicole Kidman says that she loves her husband Keith Urban so much that she would be willing to go in for height reduction surgery if he asked her to.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Ke$ha May Have To Drop The $ Sign

Rock singer Ke$ha has said that if she doesn't start getting some gigs she may have to change her name to KeĀ¢ha.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Mrs Kerry Improving But Fears For Husband

If John gets a breakthrough in Middle-East Talks he might get the Big Head and his will explode.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Six Month Study Confirms Fears

Over 90% of Christmas gifts last December had traces of reindeer poop!

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Today's History Students Are Just Plain Dumb

Never even heard of the 'Peepot Dong Scandal' or 'One is by Land, Two is Black Sheep'! claims 24-year-old teacher.

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

New Show On Food Channel Replacing Deens

New show coming to The Food Show, "Soul Food For The Honky".

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Rating:

Archaeologist Stumped!

Archaeologist loses both legs after opening of King Don crypt in Egypt!

written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
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