Order by:
Rating:

Record Sale On eBay

A tick's turd that's in the shape of Florida sells to casino on eBay for $10,000.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Beanie Babies Bottom Out!

On the other hand, Prices of air guitars hit all time high!

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Richard Simmons Hospitalized

Exercise guru Richard Simmons was hospitalized after his Pet Rock, "Oldie" turned on him and left him bruised badly.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Is President Losing It?

President Obama: "We are NOT in debt for over 17 trillion dollars. Oh no! That was CAPTAIN AMERICA! Now we might try to help with the release of a special limited number of comics, etc....Not US!"

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Fossilized Evidence Reveals Giant Hyenas

"These fellas could be heard laughing for ten miles", says Professor Rick Danko. "Probably killed foes from lack of sleep."

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

President Admits Seeing Ghost

"It was worth losing the election to get the ghost of Brigham Young off my behind", laughs Romney. "Good luck with the 'Lady's Man'Mr. President!"

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Shots Fired Over Line Hold-Up!

Police arrested two people at The Crispy Donut in Nashville this morning following an argument between a customer & owner over how many doughnuts make up a 'baker's dozen'. Two other people shot both.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Health and Technology Is The Future

CEO of Broadskills tells students that if they want to make a load of money in the next 20 years stick to the health & technology fields. CEO Collins spoke before a crowd of over 1,000 idiot-savants.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

One Hundred Hazards

Intelligent baby lists over 100 things around the house that he could choke on, including Uncle Dave's hearing aid.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Anthony Weiner's newest campaign promise -

Is to sext every NYC resident if he's elected. And he's serving weiners - oh, that's spelled wieners, at his acceptance get-together, if he's elected.

written by Samuel Vargo, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Latest Fro Seattle Salvation Army:

Our Pope Francis T-Shirts are kicking Binny Hinn T-shirts ass!

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Michelle Obama To NCAAP Crowd

"George Zimmerman probably out there killing somebody right now!"

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Talk Radio Condemned

Many say they hate AM radio these days because of the silly news, sportscasters. "AM mean 'Absolute Morons", says one. "Of course FM means (wife: SHUT UP! Kids in back!).

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Many Now Home From July 4th Family Visit Getting Ready for School

Typical Comment: "Well, we got crap that over with until Christmas!

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

FDA Suspects Meat Not As Claimed

They are especially suspicious of those restaurants serving Horse d' oeuvres

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Pigs smart as dogs? Activists pose the question

Official answer: Although pigs can out-sniff a dog on finding doughnuts, dogs are better on sniffing out everything else! Brains still being studied.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Especially, Translvania, Romania

Romania pleads for Europe to adopt blood-donation policies!

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Cambodia election challenge raises fears

"Many are still voting for Pol Pot", says local overseer. "They are afraid not to."

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Survey: We're working less than our parents did

But we're complaining twice as much!

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

People we've lost this year

Most place the blame on faulty GPS systems.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Egypt edges toward violence

After hundreds killed and thousands injured, you could have almost predicted it.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Bikini-clad Worshippers at Pope Mass in Brazil

"It helped bring in a bigger crowd to teach morals", says local priest

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Are You Suffering with Joint Discomfort?

Then try drinking at home. That is, unless the wife is big as a bouncer!

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Street Mob Of 10 Teens Brutally Attacks Man Walking Home From Work In Baltimore

Meanwhile gun sales go up another five percent.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

President Takes Vineyard Vacation at $7.6 Million House

While Washington can't afford to open White House Tours to the public.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Dressing right

SALINAS, CA - When a Salinas high school principal banned students from wearing thong panties, coeds responded by not wearing any underclothes at all. The principal agrees they meet the dress code.

written by Gee Pee, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Students: "There's no fool like an old fool!"

A geriatrics professor at Miami University, Oxford, Ohio, refuses to stop wearing his thong swimsuit at the school pool, citing the "educational value" of the display.

written by Gee Pee, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Get 'em while they're hot!

NEW YAWK - Mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner's campaign manager quit after Weiner sent photos of his weiner to young women. If his election bid fails, Weiner says, "I can always sell hotdogs."

written by Gee Pee, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Victim "flattered," but says assailant needs "anatomy lessons"

LONDON - A man followed a woman around Walmart, pretended to bump and grind into her, and tossed a handful of semen onto her buttocks. "I'd hoped she'd have my baby," he explained.

written by Gee Pee, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Prisoners Still On Hunger Strike!

Doctor at California prison where hunger strike still going on says that inmates appear to be in better shape than those eating horse meat.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner Still In A Pickle

Anthony Weiner's opponents say he'll be badly beaten if he decides to go ahead and run.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

In cash-strapped Detroit, few question sports arena funding

"We can also use the new arena for rioting!", says Mayor.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

After 75 years of marriage, couple die one day apart at age 94 #2

"What was your secret?" "Separate Houses!" yells Hester after Fester dies one day early.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

After 75 years of marriage, couple die one day apart at age 94

High school sweethearts Fester and Hester Brown, who were born on the same day on Dec. 30, 1918, died at age 94, within one day of each other. "Fester always screwing up something", say Hester.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Pope Not Upset By Brazil Venders

"I even heard they were selling popeciscles", he laughs.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Pope says he won't judge gay priests

"Look at our past. What pope has ever tried to condemn any minority?"

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Family Pulls Weiner Out of Burning Car!

"We were just on our way to a wiener roast", says lady driver.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner Told To Fall on His Sword

New Yorkers say they do not want a mayor who is the victim of jokes daily. "We've elected enough Jokers already!"

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner Promises!

Anthony Weiner says that he will not be poking his head into other people's business if elected!

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner Stops in Mid-Stride

After first 15 minutes of speech interrupted by "Peter Twitter!" yells from audience!

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner Disappears after 4-Hour Speech

Last seen headed toward Bellevue Hospital Emergency Room.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Nude woman on beach taken into custody

Greenpeace called in by officers to help load 'Gail The Whale'.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

3 Million Attend Pope's Mass on Last Day #2

Yells from helicopter, "You can drop your tops now!"

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

3 Million Attend Pope's Mass on Last Day

After he leaves, someone begins shouting "Party! Party! Party!"

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

95-year-old man armed with cane dies after cops hit with stun gun, bean bag rounds.

As nation tries to cut social security costs.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Pentagon Vows: 'American people should hear it from us, not as scoop on DRUDGE REPORT'.

This latest news brought to you by the Drudge Report.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

CHICAGOLAND: Cash reserves plunge, debt triples.

Cubs and White Sox players may face higher taxes! Bears threaten Mayor.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Required Every Three Month Superhero Film Premieres

Next Up: Secret Tales of The Flying Squirrel!

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

119 year old woman 'world's oldest person'.

Winks at male presenting prize and whispers, "I'm actually only 104. Look me up."

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

Army Debuts Unisex Combat Uniforms.

Marines, Navy, Air Force, National Guard quit.

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
Rating:

AP: 4 out of 5 in USA face near-poverty, no work.

And now for the bad news....

written by Bureau, 29 July 2013
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