Order by:
Rating:

Prince Harry will be 'fun' Uncle

"I'll have to borrow a clown outfit from the Royal Jester!

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

US halt delivery of fighter jets to Egypt

"We have no idea which side would wind up with them", says President Obama.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Squirrel found at CA campground infected with 'black plague'...

According to rabbit, the squirrel has been 'acting nutty' for some time.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Poll: Anthony Weiner hurt by scandal, trails

Weiner's wife says her husband has gone soft and may not run for mayor after all.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Scientists produce false memories in mice

Here's a tape of one singing: "Here I Come To Save the Day!" before being eaten by cat!

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner: My Lips Are Closed

Anthony Weiner told the press he has nothing else to say about latest photos he sent to women on the internet. "From now on, I'm zipped up!"

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Bob Hope Mad

Visitors to Bob Hope burial site say you can hear Bob turning over and over after missing all the great lines on Weiner.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner's Wife Still happy with Him

Sings famous country song to reporters, "Stand By Your Weiner" But Anthony says "Ain't she great? But we Weiners can stand alone when we have to."

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

New Pole Out On Weiner

That should be "poll". Pole Results: "You may as well put a fork in Weiner and turn him over!"

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner May Flop Out of Race

That should be "Drop" out of race. "Mayor Bloomberg gave me a good whack on the head"

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Americans Addicted To Gambling

New poll shows that one in three American adults are addicted to gambling. Alternate poll offered 5-2 odds that first poll was wrong.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Close Call For Weiner

It was a close call Thursday when Antony Weiner, while running for NYC Mayor, was nearly eaten by slim kid who won hotdog eating contest two years in a row at Coney Island.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Flash Update: Bin Laden Seen

Witnesses say that either bin Laden has a ghost, a double or he isn't dead. Final results now in & apparently Navy SEALS killed Cat Stevens! Apparently Cat thought approaching Seal was a Moonshadow!

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Mich. board OKs new Red Wings arena in Detroit

It will feature a ten-foot wall with barbed wire and guards", say owners.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Gay High School Coach Comes Out to His Players

"We knew he was up to something when he gave us his pep speech while wearing a Tutu!", say players

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Mrs Weiner Says She can Tell When Hubby Is on The Prowl

"He has that certain look and he grabs my butt all day. Also his head gets wet!"

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

POLL: Race relations have plummeted since Obama took office...

"If he would keep that nose out of the air, he would be better liked", says one person polled. "Also he's started saying 'We are not amused' to leaders in the GOP."

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

SAC Capital Is Indicted!

At least we came out in the news with SAC just below Weiner in the headlines, sat CEO.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Mickelson Faces 61%t Tax Hit Following Back-To-Back Wins.

Accuses Tiger and Obama of teaming up against him!

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner Gets Used to Abuse!

Anthony Weiner admits that he has heard enough Weiner jokes for now. "I just read the future article in satire mag. "Weiner Comes Out Ahead!". But you get used to it."

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Royal baby named after first U.S. President

Prince William and Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, decided to honor the United States' first president by calling their baby boy George. His full name is George Washington District of Columbia Windsor.

written by Lyndon, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Carlos Danger Files Suit Against Anthony Weiner

TALLAHASSEE, FL - State inmate, Carlos Danger, has filed suit against Anthony Weiner for defamation of character. Danger has been imprisoned since 1995 for lewd and lascivious behavior.

written by Moose, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Luxury cruise fails health inspection

Rats weren't wearing hairnets in the kitchen. Several flies had previously came from toilet.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

If Arctic Methane Is Released, the Fallout Will Cost $60,000,000,000,000

That's over Two hundred Billion for every person in the U.S. "Sally and I are just planning to declare bankruptcy" is answer given on the street.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Snowden Getting Desperate?

Snowden now says that United States has secret snake bomb that will release millions of poisoning snakes on enemies.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Fugitive Snowden's hopes of leaving Moscow airport dashed

Can't get past airport security with all that lead in his butt from sitting for a month.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Feds Raid Pot Dispensaries in Washington, Where the Drug is Legal

Drug dealer: "I wish they would make it illegal again. They put hundreds of us out of a job and on welfare."

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Korean War foes gather in NKorea to remember war

May never be heard from again.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

SPECIAL REPORT: How the Muslim Brotherhood lost Egypt

Leader says they blame 'not cracking down on opponents'. Also, not knowing who opponents were. Moses.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Michigan spends little to promote health care law

"Hey, we put out at least a dozen bumper stickers", he tells reporters. "Don't send the IRS after us."

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Obama to warn Republicans on budget tactics

Rand Paul answers and answer is still going on after eight hours.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

The North Pole Has Melted. Again.!

Santa Claus, reindeer, elves, Mrs Claus rescued by George Zimmerman.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Family rescued by Zimmerman fears link to 'Good Samaritan': lawyer

"We were going to thank him publicly", states family member to a dozen reporters. "But w were warned not to. So, Mr. Zimmerman, thank you but not publicly."

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

William and Kate name Britain's new royal heir George

Strange name says man-on-the-street. Have we had a George in the royal family? Is it spelled with a G or a J?

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Obama: Better Quit Fooling Around With Mr. Weiner

"Moleturd has already gone blind!"

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Rand Paul A Minority

Rand Paul: 'I don't think there's anyone in Congress who has a stronger belief in minority rights than I do. I'm from Kentucky! Heard Hillbilly jokes all my life.'

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Weiner Pledge:

If erected...elected, I will eat saltpeter on my food every day!

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Support from New York Democrats goes limp!

"He soon won't be able to hold his head up!"

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

REPORT: Planned 'secret sex bunker' in Chicago.

That's just sick. Was it for Edith or Archie Bunker: "Archie! Archie! There's a Weiner who wants me to come to Chicago!" "Another Dingbat! The world in full of them."

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

NY Rep Nadler: 'Weiner needs serious psychiatric help'.

Can weiners get psychiatric help? Maybe he needs "To wake up to Malt-To-Meal". Oh, that's for winners? Maybe he should change his name? How about 'Moleturd'. No, he might send out..never mind.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Erection Update: Weiner now blames 'rough time' in marriage.

She always would get her undies in a wad over the least dirty photo I sent to other women!

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

Paula Deen Still Pleads Innocent of Racial Remarks!

But admits her high calorie/high fat recipes have probably killed over 50,000 people.

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

I s Biden Running Against Hilary in 2016?

"I might," says Biden. "If I could get that Weiner to run as VP. I mean they elected Tricky Dicky Nixon twice!"

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
Rating:

China announced it will no longer buy recycled trash from the U.S.

"Especially when they stamp "Made in China" on it. You want to get good buy on genuine Rolex for $40?"

written by Bureau, 25 July 2013
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