Order by:
Rating:

Big Snake Swallows Teacher

French teacher won't allow students to leave room until they warn about the snake in French language.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

We're Not All Terrorists!

Monitoring of Muslim students by NSA brings quick response from leading cleric. "Well..there's..no. Uh. Yeah there's Hameed. You know. Got funny-shaped head...drools."

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

CORNEL WEST: Obama Pushing Blacks to 'Back of Bus' in Favor of Gays.

However, Gay Blacks are doing fine. Straight whites get shit end of the stick.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Thousands Hurt, Injured, Crippled, Stepped On!

Noted astronomer causes worldwide panic predicting giant asteroid only 24 hours from hitting earth turns out to be bird crap on huge telescope. "My bad", he told crowd...his last words.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Wales adopts 'presumed consent' system for organ donation

Individuals will be presumed to have donated their Wurlitzers unless specifically asking to opt out.

written by queen mudder, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Vatican: John Paul II close to sainthood

"Already got a faint halo showing" was announced by those with pope visions."

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Car splits in half in accident, driver disappears

"We're still looking", says police officer. "There's been no contact. Most of us think that he's not all there."

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Fearing chaos, US wades into Egypt turmoil

"We're waiting to see what happens", states U.S. Army General. "Right now we haven't been told which side we is for and which side we is again."

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Scientist Says Close to Human Head Transplant. #5

Coast Guard says pretty heads are being smuggled in from poor countries.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Hot In Los Angeles Too

It was so hot in Los Angeles yesterday that the street walkers were running up & down the street.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Hot in Vegas

It was so hot in Vegas yesterday that the cards the guys hand out of prostitutes catch on fire as soon as they are thrown onto the sidewalk.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Scientist Says Close to Human Head Transplant.#4

Arkansas hospital being sued after carelessness caused their first head transplant to be performed before old head removed.
"I'm a freak!" "I'm a freak too!", heads tell judge.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Scientist Says Close to Human Head Transplant.#3

First guy in line to volunteer admits, "I'm gonna have a lot of fun with my new female body."

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Michelle Obama: I'm In Prison

First Lady visits cell where Mandella spent many years. "I can identify with this", she states. "I grew up in a prison."

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

STUDY: Vets fill out 613 forms across 18 agencies to get benefits.

Illegals learn to say "No understand, please fill out for me" in English. Then nod yes or no when translator comes over.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Brits nip it in the bud

Sadomasochistic Brits, tired of piercing their nips, now tattoo them, some for cosmetic reasons, some just for fun. "It hurts like hell," one woman said, with a wink. "It's way better a spanking."

written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Neil Patrick Harris to marry

Heterosexual actor Neil Patrick ("Doogie Hawser") Harris will wed David Burtka, as no women are interested in marrying him and David's consented. "Plus, he's submissive," Harris divulged with a wink.

written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Scientist Says Close to Human Head Transplant #2

Keith Richards has already signed up to be a guinea pig. "Even a Guinea Pig has a better face than this one", jokes singer.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Scientist Says Close to Human Head Transplant.

Police say it would make it a lot harder to identify robber if he switches heads later.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Arizona Cardinals' Robert Gill runs 25 MPH on treadmill

Later thrown fifty feet when right sneaker blows out!

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Scientists aim to regrow teeth using stem cells

First attempt on volunteer goes wrong. "I look like Bugs Bunny", says Albert Smothers.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Volvo Developing Kangaroo-Detecting Radar System

Not expecting to sell many in Britain or the United States.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

"Whacko!!"

Breaking News:
School Summer holiday: 6 week-break could go....Teacher suicide rate increases 100%

written by Herrdoktorfox, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Mentally disabled NY newlyweds find home to share

New York City mime accused of selling them 1600 square foot invisible cube.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Edward Snowden threatens new U.S. leaks, applies for Russian asylum

"Ronald Reagan hated jelly beans! Monica Lewinski is a man!" Many now suspecting that he's making up latest leaks.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

FAA: SPIRIT AIRLINES jet dove 1,600 feet to avoid skydiving plane.

Company fears lawsuits once all the passengers are pried from the roof of the plane.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Throngs Of Women Come To Hernandez's Defense

Attorney for Hernandez tells them that if they want to influence a judge, they'll come to hearings with something over their thongs. Oh, you said throngs? Never mind."

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Turkish PM on unrest: Jews!

Many also blaming Jews for record heat, fires out west, all those injuries of New York Yankee players, Japanese beetles.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Catholic diocese posts priest sex abuse records

"This thing is longer than the ObamaCare release", says early reader. "I got sick half way through the first ten pages. Anyone who reads it will probably NEED ObamaCare."

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Democrats trying to suppress confusion, hide cost of ObamaCare.

"Certainly don't want the public or China money lenders to see this", says congressman, off the record.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

400 teens in street brawl.

"Yeah, all this heat is cutting their numbers down quite a bit", says Chicago police sergeant.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

UPDATE: Death Valley broils in record heat

Tourists flock to heat...quick death.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Last Resort: Venezuela?

Russian newspaper says Snowden may wind up in Venezuela. Obama: Wish he'd make up his mind so we'd know where to send our Navy SEALS and drones.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

OBAMA SCRAMBLES TO LIMIT BUG FALLOUT.

Effort setback after three found in his luggage when searched in Africa.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Russian rocket crashes.

Russia claims rocket crash bringing down meteorite. "We were trying to save the world. Our glorious rocket crashed into it", says spokesperson.

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Paula Deen Won't Be Taking Out Her Dancing Shoes

Paula Deen said she's been asked by Dancing With The Stars to appear on the upcoming season. She replied she is so damn upset she can barely walk much less dance the hokey pokey and stuff.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 July 2013
Rating:

The Sad Case of Alec Baldwin AKA The Drama Queen

Alec Baldwin says that he is really not such a bad guy since unlike Mike Tyson, he hasn't bitten anyone.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 July 2013
Rating:

NFL Birds of A Feather

Since January, a total of 27 NFL players have been arrested. The Philadelphia Eagles, The Arizona Cardinals, and The Atlanta Falcons are all reportedly considering a name change to the Jailbirds.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio - The Man With A Plan

Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio says Arizona prisons are so overcrowded he may have to start secretly releasing some prisoners into neighboring states California, Nevada, Utah, and New Mexico

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Paula Deen Says She Needs Space

NASA says that they have turned down Paula Deen's request to be put on the next spaceship bound for Mars.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 July 2013
Rating:

The Matter of Princess Kate's Placenta

Princess Kate states that the rumor that she will be selling her placenta on eBay is a lie that she believes was probably made up by Ricky Gervais.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Lindsay Lohan's Rehab Purpose Has Just Been Shot All To Hell!

Lindsay Lohan says that she is extremely bored at being in rehab and confessed that once she gets out she is going to party like there's no tomorrow.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Danica Patrick Lets The Cat Out of The Bag

NASCAR's Danica Patrick stated that Kyle Petty insulted her because he has to pee sitting down just like her.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Angelina Jolie Thinks She's Got Lips of Love, But...

Angelina Jolie says she knows that Brad Pitt hates her big lips so she is seriously thinking about going in and having a lip reduction.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Edward Snowden - The Dancing Whistleblower?

NSA leaker Edward Snowden has been asked to appear on Russia's version of Dancing With The Stars. He said he'll check his schedule and get back with them.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 July 2013
Rating:

College loan rates soar

In an effort to further dumb down the American electorate, Congress allowed college loan rates to skyrocket. "I want voters who are dumb enough to re-elect me," Senator Harry Reid said.

written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Rating:

As a public relations ploy, Smithfield Hams ham it up

Smithfield Hams sent gays and lesbians free canned hams with cards that read, "We like the look of your can." Recipients were offended. "I have an ass," one said, "not a 'can'--and mine's not fat!"

written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Target targets gays

Target has sued gays for soliciting customers outside their stores. "Our customers are not johns," a manager said, "nor do they want to be treated as such. Let gays take their 'business' to Walmart."

written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Walmart goes gay

To "celebrate diversity" in the wake of the Supreme Court's DOMA ruling, Walmart is opening Gaymart, a subsidiary that sells dildos and other metchandise "of importance to gays and lesbians."

written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Alec Baldwin is glad he's one of Hollyweird's finest

Alec Baldwin said he's glad he's an actor, not a celebrity cook and glad his hate speech targeted a gay man, rather than a black man. "Paula Deen doesn't know whom she can disrespect; I do," he said.

written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Alec Baldwin: "I am not a homoprobe"

Actor Alec Baldwin said he does not hate "queers, just queens." He's okay with gays per se, he declared, although, he clarified, "I myself am a heterosexual, not a homoprobe."

written by Gee Pee, 02 July 2013
Rating:

Doris Kearns Goodwin turns Gettysburg address into lecture on women, gay rights.

"Four score and seven years ago, our fore-mothers and those men dressed as our fore-mothers set high heels on this land."

written by Bureau, 02 July 2013
« Jun 2013 July 2013 Aug 2013 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
1st
52
2nd
52
3rd
41
4th
52
5th
28
6th
39
7th
40
8th
58
9th
53
10th
48
11th
28
12th
48
13th
42
14th
44
15th
53
16th
47
17th
42
18th
48
19th
62
20th
43
21st
54
22nd
42
23rd
55
24th
54
25th
44
26th
40
27th
47
28th
31
29th
51
30th
60
31st
46
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 5?

9 22 4 7


79 readers are online right now!

Go to top