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Rating:

8 Simple Joint Ingredients You Won't Believe #2

Horse Manure will give you that joint an extra kick that will have you talking and walking like Cheech & Chong, Man!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

NCAA to stop putting name, logo on video game!

What a shocker that is! Meanwhile, in Palm Springs today, it was so hot that the late Bob Hope's house melted and slid off the hillside.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Roving bands of teens rob, assault in Hollywood.

In Hollywood! One of the most peaceful places on the face of the earth.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Panama calls in U.N. to inspect North Korean arms ship

Kim Jong Un throws fit. Lies on the floor and kicks himself around and around like Curly of the Three Stooges. Holds his breath until he turns blue.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

New Ford Hybrid Hits the Market

Also, mixed views thus far for new Hybrid Hummers that get up to nine MPG.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

President Obama Calls for restraint

Tells crowds to cool off a bit. "Settle down and be like me, take a five week vacation. Things will be better by then."

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
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Day Three After Zimmerman Trial

Except for Al Sharpton rioting has lessened quite a bit. Also, movie ushers, ladies with sleeping babies and librarians urge quieter demonstrations.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Separated At Birth, Or


Has anyone ever seen Bill Maher and Julian Assange together in the same room?

written by K.C. Bell, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Mysterious White Powder found in VP's office

Turns out that it was only cocaine!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Snoops True Fact #339

According to Snoops: It is not true that a turtle will bite you and hang on till it thunders. A really loud fart will cause them to not only let go but skeedaddle away!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

"Down With The Guy Who's In Charge!"

Egyptian protesters receive latest scorecard on who's in, who's out of power.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Captain dives in after 12-foot fish

"Just working my way up to something bigger", says Ahab.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

GOPer on verdict: 'Get over it'

"Just like we did with O.J. Simpson verdict. Oh yeah, he's still in prison. But he's still guilty of murder if you ask me! Just the thought burns me up!"

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Man wakes up, speaks only Swedish

Translator brought to hospital to help says the man is saying "I cannot understand a single word I'm speaking!"

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Professional liars for hire

Most of them former politicians, attorneys, used car salesmen.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
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A rare look inside the royal family

BBC purchases videos from hospitals where colonoscopies were performed!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

'King of the Hill' actor dies at 67

Services will be held on The Simpsons this Sunday night!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Cuba: It's our weapons on N.K. ship

Panama: No, these are OUR weapons we took from North Korean ship! We just moved from Military Country #97 to #31

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Snowden may leave airport soon

Headed for his new home at the mall!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Rolling Stone Cover Pic Blasted

Rolling Stone putting bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on cover is called a "great insult" to marathon victims. "You want to be famous, go kill a bunch of innocent people", says one injured at event.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Man wrestles 200-pound shark to shore

Putin: I have wrestled several whales to shore but will have to go do it again and have someone to take a photograph. I tend to shy away from cameras.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

D.C. Government Fails to Pay 'Living Wage' Required of WalMart

Walmart to sue U.S. Government?

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

PAYPAL accidentally credits man $92 quadrillion.

President tells him to hurry up and write check to China for ten trillion!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Survey: 74% of small businesses will fire workers, cut hours.

After careful thought, more and more businesses are liking new ObamaCare!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Researchers power cell phone with urine.

"Completely by accident", says young inventor. "Boss told me to piss on it!"

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Jimmy Carter declares: 'Right decision'.

"No it wasn't" declares small voice from device below dining room table.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Russia's Putin Makes Request of President Obama

"Mister Obama, Tear Down This Bugged Wall!"

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Stasi Lessons: Germans have cause to abhor surveillance state

Been there, Done that! Doesn't work!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

President vows to veto GOP legislation -- that he proposed!

"Did I Do That?" (in his best Urkel voice).

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Bernanke: The pumping must go on!

Tells China, "We will gladly pay you in 2050 for a few more trillion today!"

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Water cut for 150,000 near DC!

Thus far, congress and senate say the beer is holding out!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Maya Angelou: 'What is really injured is psyche of our national population'.

And the whereabouts of our collective whatever!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Hilary tells "sisterhood" about her heartbreak over Jury Decision

Nothing after O.J. trial. Nothing about "sisterhood" being beaten daily by Taliban, 10-year-old girls sold for wives in Afghanistan, Iraq.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Best New Product on Market?

Dr. Scholl's new adult diapers for comfort and smell. You can now go see great aunt Lulu once again.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Americans Once Again Lose Freedoms!

The Method: A "data center" in Bluffdale, Utah, designed to record and store every facet of our lives. The Madness: Oh, it should be here any day now.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

So how is legal marijuana going in Colorado?

"Heavy! Smooth as silk! Man, you gotta try this stuff!" among answers given by State of Colorado police officers.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Putin dives to the bottom of the Baltic to view wreck

Russian leader refused the use of any equipment. Dove straight down in the nude according to Russian press

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Liz Cheney to Challenge Senator Michael Enzi of Wyoming

"All she will need here in Wyoming is 20-25 votes says her famous dad, uh..one of those VPs.

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

8 Simple Joint Ingredients You Won't Believe

Number One: Beer! See...told you you wouldn't believe it. But you go into any popular joint and there you'll find the popular beverage!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Snowden revelations: What more does he have?

For one thing, he is rumored to have actual films taken by the New England Patriots of opposing teams!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Egypt prosecutor investigates Mursi for prison escape

Also that one time he called Abdel Nasser "Nose, Nose!" when he was four!

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rating:

Zimmerman Family Suspects Obama Tapping Their Phones.

Well, why should they be any different than the rest of us?

written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
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