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Dove Returns To Somerset Village With An Olive Branch In Its Beak

'This is indeed joyous news,' said one resident. 'It means that dry land may be just beyond the horizon.'

written by Swan Morrison, 04 January 2013
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Church Of England Accepts Gay Male Bishops If They Commit To Remaining Celibate

'We will also accept women bishops if they commit to a sex change,' confirmed a spokesman for the General Synod. 'After all, we don't want to appear medieval in our thinking.'

written by Swan Morrison, 04 January 2013
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Another Environmental Epiphany

Rabid environmentalists have found that human consumption of food by Earth's 6 billion people on any given day produces millions of tons of waste products the next day!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
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Entitlements

Since President Obama was reelected to a second term, the ObamaPhone lady in Cleveland OH wants a free federal government provided ObamaLexus!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
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President Obama's First Proposition

Taxes + Revenue = Overspending

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
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At an Obama Press Conference

PRES. OBAMA: The Republicans should agree to pass the middleclass tax cut extension and we'll talk about spending cuts later. REPUBLICANS: Do you plan to try to sell us a bridge in Brooklyn also?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
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What Fiscal Cliff?

President Obama actually wanted the Bush tax cuts to expire so the middleclass can pay for more foolish federal government giveaway programs like free ObamaPhones!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
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Free Shipping to Members

PETA members were advised to eat nutria (semi aquatic rodents) on Thanksgiving Day, as the organization's Norfolk VA headquarters has been overrun with the critters!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
Rating:

Hamas Using Human Shields

Hamas had launched Schmuck rockets from sites in Gaza adjacent to hospitals, schools and playgrounds to hit Israel's civilian population. Oops that should be Hamas Schmucks have launched rockets....

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
Rating:

Will the House Minority Whip Become a Republican?

The Liberal Democratic Minority Whip from Maryland had the race card played against him by the Congressional Black Caucus because they wanted the third banana from South Carolina in this position!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
Rating:

You Think Florida is Screwed Up

In Syria 60,000 Muslims are killed, Turkey shells Syria and rockets are fired into Israel from Gaza, while the Arab street is silent. Israel retaliates against the rockets and the Arab street whines!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
Rating:

We Knew Nothing!

LONE RANGER: Palestinians complained about Israeli aggression for responding to rockets fired from Gaza. TONTO: What part of don't fire rockets into Israel doesn't Hamas understand?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
Rating:

Terpsichorean in Chief

President Obama held a press conference where for almost one hour he tapped danced, but provided no information to the American people!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
Rating:

No Obama Answer about Benghazi

PRES. OBAMA: Republicans attacked Susan Rice, my UN toady, who I really wanted to nominate as Secretary of State (SoS). REPUBLICANS: At least Democratic SoS H Clinton has some testicular fortitude!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
Rating:

Too Much Power Corrupts

LONE RANGER: Rep. Pelosi (D-CA) has changed her mind and runs again to be the Democratic House Minority Leader. TONTO: She's the poster lady for term limits!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
Rating:

President Obama and Revenue

LONE RANGER: Obama indicates he is not wedded to a specific tax proposal, but WH Press Secretary Carney indicates a veto unless the rich are fleeced more. TONTO: Obama still speaks with forked tongue!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
Rating:

President Obama's Tax Redistribution Policy

LONE RANGER: Obama plans to tax wealthy Republicans, redistributing their money to Democratic green energy companies. TONTO: The selected recipients will become rich as their companies go bankrupt!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2013
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