Spoof news snippets from Sunday 20 January 2013
Ned is dead!
Ned Kelly, scourge of the corrupt English in Australia is dead and been buried. Queen Victoria turned in her grave at the news!
Catholic fear Mormons more than Muslims
Vatican City, Rome, Italy- The pope spoke out today to the faithful catholics around the world, speaking out against the LDS curch saying "It's an abomination... and must be shut down or aliens win!".
Teen Blindness on rise!
Atlanta, Ga- Recent studies are showing that blindness in teenage males are on the rise in several southern states. "Masturbation is the reason, we told them they would go blind" Dr.Johnson M.D.
Alligator Flu expected to Snap at elderly
New York, NY- An outbreak of alligator flu has hit eastern New York and is expected to spread fast. Alligator flu has been known to kill anyone over 90 years old. Get your flu shot at walgreens!
22 Year Old Rory McIlroy has really fucked up.
Poor Rory - takes a $100m bribe to sign with Nike and GF Caroline Woznackered has come back from Aussie with the rags on.
He must be frustrated - only $160m in the bank and crap clubs for 4 years.
Bad news! Snow melting.
The Met Office has been forced to admit that snow is melting in a number of regions, where the temperature is above freezing. Reporters are comforted by the likelihood of flooding headlines by Monday.