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Rating:

JP Morgan halves Jamie Dimon-Jubilee's annual rake-off

Watch as they push him over the fiscal cliff early next week.

written by queen mudder, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Obama sets out drastic overhaul of US gun flaws

Second Amendment about rights to 'bear' arms to extend to pandas

written by queen mudder, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Gang of Robbers Break-In to Milton Keynes Swimming Pool

At least five robbers were caught in an attempted robbery at the swimming pool in Milton Keynes. They were chased by the police and jumped into the deep end, thus causing a mini crime-wave!

written by IN SEINE, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Lady Gaga buys Neverland!

Loony Lady Gaga has bought Michael Jackson's Neverland because his ghost still haunts the place and has wrote Lady a brand new song called; "I'm mad so mad!" She's also bought Shutter Island!

written by Jaggedone, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Tesco Burgers

Tesco Burgers. Well, every My Little Pony helps...

written by IainB, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Oprah: "He came clean but not in the manner I expected"

Reportedly Armstrong admitted all whilst doing a handstand

written by Talking Tic-Tacs, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Cameron sued by DC Comics

DC comics are to sue the Prime Minister over what they perceive as an unauthorized impersonation of their character two face. This after viewing his recent comments on Europe.

written by John_L, 16 January 2013
Rating:

TwinkieGeddon Hits USA and Creates Jobs

The lack of Twinkies is expected to cause a need for more psychiatrists/child psychologists as adult and children's anxieties grow; and FDA agents to confiscate Chinese confectionary knockoffs!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Delayed Sexually Transmitted Disease

Have you or a loved one worked in a bordello, even briefly as a summer job. You may have been exposed to DSTD, having a 30 yr. incubation time. Call the Law Offices of Clap & Clap at 1-800-WAY-LATE!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Real Solutions

Congress mandates unelected bureaucrats tear the 25,000 pages of new federal regulations into little squares in preparation for what the American people want done with these intrusive restrictions!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Deep Throat Two

Talking points from the CIA to the White House were altered to remove any reference to terrorist activity at the US embassy in Bengasi Libya & then given to Susan Rice. A document leak is coming!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

You Elected Them

Left wing Congressional Democrats are unconcerned about runaway spending which is hurting the US economy, but are concerned about too much caffeine in energy drinks!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Union Ding Dongs

A small bakers' union stubbornness during negotiations has caused the shutdown of Hostess. The results are the loss of 18,500 jobs & much-needed tax revenue from numerous US plants & retail outlets.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

A No Brainer

A tax has been proposed on the lack of fiscal sense of both the Democratic House minority leadership and the Democratic Senate majority leadership. Estimates are $10 trillion can be raised!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

You're Not Alone

A famous maker of lady's panties and men's briefs has increased their size. As long as President Obama and the federal government continue to get into American's pants, extra room will be provided!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Shades of George Orwell

Hamas fires rockets from Gaza at Israeli civilians, hiding behind Palestinian civilians and then claims Israeli aggression when Israel strikes back!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Democratic Party King of Maryland

Maryland citizens call for a referendum to send their governor to Washington DC to manage paperclips. This is a response to the governor (king) wanting to restrict MD citizen's right of petitions!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Emergency Preparedness begins at Home

What's the difference between FEMA's response to Hurricane Sandy and Hurricane Katrina? Nothing, FEMA is still a screwed up organization such that states and cities must learn to rely on themselves!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Economic Freedom

The Republican Party can gain a majority of Hispanic voters via outreach as Latinos begin to climb the US economic ladder, open businesses and escape from Obama's Democratic plantation!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

The Job Destroyer in Chief

LONE RANGER: President Obama wants to raise corporate taxes during this recession. TONTO: The president speaks with forked tongue and intends to purposely destroy more US jobs!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

The Job Destroyer in Chief I

LONE RANGER: President Obama would love to ask Congress for climate change carbon taxes to satisfy his loony left base. TONTO: Obama speaks with forked tongue and intends to destroy more US jobs!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Open Season on Loons

Texas wildlife officials have extended the hunting season for left wing loons because the loon population has grown exceedingly large in some parts of the state!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Government by the Loons

The people of California voted not to label products made with genetically engineered ingredients. The losing left wing loon proponents will now try to lobby unelected FDA Washington DC bureaucrats!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Smart Electorate

LONE RANGER: Americans claim they want the gridlock in Washington DC to end. TONTO: Yet Americans keep electing split houses of Congress, fearful of one party ideological rule!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Politically Correct Destruction

The American Bus Drivers Association (ABDS) has objected to politicians using the expression "thrown under the bus." ABDA has suggested the use of "thrown under the trolley."

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

Cabinet Change

Following the resignation of CIA Director David Petraeus, President Obama's entire cabinet also resigned. These officials admitted they have been screwing the American people for the last four years!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
Rating:

You Already Knew This

In a bipartisan vote (49 to 1) Florida has been elected as the most f**ked up state in the US!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 January 2013
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