Spoof news snippets from Monday 4 February 2013
First TV in the movies discovered
Film archivists have found the first transvestite in the movies. "It was Lassie," said Cindy Marr.
49ers Would Have Forfeited to Ravens Anyway
Investigation finds coach Jim Harbaugh of San Francisco 49ers, facing loss to brother John, coach of Baltimore Ravens, sent 49ers special teams unit to cut Superdome power, changing game's momentum.
Grand Old Partier Takes 34-31 Loss Hard
Karl Rove has too much to drink watching Superbowl, becomes confused. Blue team beats red team, Rove spends next 30 minutes shouting at television, "They still haven't finished counting in Ohio!"